When did you start developing interest in dating/opposite se
x relationships?
Or same-sex, i guess, though this is directed more to the straight guys(gals too i guess) as I'm trying to relate as a straight guy.
I have noticed that people around me don't seriously think about dating until maybe 15-ish, by the end of 9th grade, maybe even 10th grade, by then if you're a dude you'll get teased for not being interested in.
I have heard that by that age, individuals' thinking capabilities are basically comparable to those of adults.
I'm speaking of the emotional aspect,btw, not the physical aspect.
Also I have noticed girls/women are earlier on this thing.
As for myself, I am still not *basically* grown yet, I am still learning a lot about manhood or whatever, but I do feel pretty adultlike, gimme maybe 8 months and I'll have my sh!t straight lol.
I'm starting to get relationships, but I don't understand women at all lol.
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Probably when I was 8ish. I may have only gone on one date, but I am an optimistic man when it comes to love.
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I'd say about a few months ago possibly; although still no actual GF to date >_<
Sure. Us aspies work better alone. Sure we work better when we don't have to talk to people. But where the hell is the fun in that? You'd just be living the same days over and over - Which is just boring in my opinion. Who wants to do that?
[quote="Zodai"]I'd say about a few months ago possibly; although still no actual GF to date >_<
[b]Sure. Us aspies work better alone. Sure we work better when we don't have to talk to people. But where the hell is the fun in that? You'd just be living the same days over and over - Which is just boring in my opinion. Who wants to do that?[/[/b]quote]
And this is related how?
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[b]Sure. Us aspies work better alone. Sure we work better when we don't have to talk to people. But where the hell is the fun in that? You'd just be living the same days over and over - Which is just boring in my opinion. Who wants to do that?[/[/b]quote]
And this is related how?
Um...how isn't it related?
The initial search for love was due to the fact that I didn't want to live alone all my life, cause that's just boring as heck >_<. Who wants that?
After falling for someone the first time though, you start to really pick up the pace on it - Regardless of weather or not it developed into something.
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I became interested in girls at around 5, but had to hide it most of the time through my elementary school years. I had my first "girlfriend" at 6 (she basically came up to me and asked me to be her boyfriend, without us really knowing what those words meant )
Dating, I'm not sure. Probably at about 12?
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Dating, I'm not sure. Probably at about 12?
I mean like taking this stuff seriously, and basically understanding this stuff, though maybe not understanding all the fine details and intricacies of this stuff, cuz of AS or whatever.
I wouldn't say 12, most NT's even don't get it then.
The mind at 12 years is still quite childish, very curious.
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It's kinda tough to differentiate the desire for the idea of a relationship, and desire for an actual one.
Most stories made for little girls are about getting a happily ever after with a prince. So for as long as I can remember having a "relationship" was just part of fantasy play. Wanting someone to "like like" you cropped up in middleschool but was more about acceptance than legitimate desire for romance.
Real desire for romance/sex etc. has gradually built up from about 16/17 years old. Didn't really get serious about anything till 18/19.
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I'm not really sure I could say. As far back as I can recall(perhaps aside from a few memories of getting my tonsils removed), a lot of my memories seem to have revolved around this friend I had, Rachel, whose family owned the two floor apartment we lived in. They stayed on the first floor, so her and I pretty much played together every day(so far as I know). I'd pick flowers for her despite neighbors getting angry at me for ruining their gardens. Had to get past her big yellow lab which I was terrified of. Had a "wedding" with her once, which she ran away from when asked if she'd be my bride. Not sure, but I think we were maybe 3-5 years old at the time. What seemed to kind of end it was us being caught naked together, though later on we moved out anyway since her father refused to get a leak in the roof fixed.
But then I guess that wasn't exactly developed into anything serious, just being little kids and all. Might have had a few small crushes early on in school before my mother decided to homeschool my siblings and I. Even was taught how to slowdance by some girl during recess one time, but that was really about it.
I do remember having a conversation with my mother about me being more interested in girls in general when I was maybe 11. Guess it was around the same time she'd been reading the third Harry Potter book to me, I think it was, because that was when Harry started to notice Cho. That and some friend I had on this message board told me about hentai, but I didn't have that conversation with my mother. I guess I was also a bit jealous of my brother, who always got everything before I did and more of it, especially friends as well as girlfriends. I suppose this kind of screwed me up for a while, since all I could think about was what was wrong with me or how I could get someone to like me, being desperate enough to take anyone willing to give me attention, etc. I have a specific thread that kind of relates to this in the Haven.
It hasn't been until more recently, maybe within the past couple of years or less, that I've started to try and have some kind of standards or not put myself down so much, and try to find someone who would be good for me rather than just finding someone who would put up with me. Of course, I genuinely thought this one girl was the best I'd ever gotten to know, but when her rejection came, I couldn't help but feel more hurt than I'd ever been before, and enough to make a thread here a while ago about giving up entirely.
So I don't think there's any one particular point. I've always been interested for one reason or another in the opposite sex, though I don't exactly like to think in terms of "males and females" rather than people, despite being straight, as I think that that kind of thinking, at least for some, turns the other gender into a commodity instead of actual human beings just like them.
Perhaps that's part of why I don't think I'll ever date. At least, not unless I was asked out myself by someone I wouldn't mind getting to know or doing some activity with for fun. I just don't see it as a good way to really get to know somebody, nor would I feel comfortable with something that's supposed to be so formal and strict. I'd much rather get to know someone by being their friend, with no pressure on anyone to be absolutely perfect or never make "mistakes", and nothing is based off of first impressions. It just seems so much more genuine. Unfortunately for me, it seems that it takes years for me to figure out if I really care about or love someone, and when I tell them it seems to come off as shocking or creepy for reasons I don't quite understand.
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[quote="DogsWithoutHorses"]It's kinda tough to differentiate the desire for the idea of a relationship, and desire for an actual one.
Most stories made for little girls are about getting a happily ever after with a prince. So for as long as I can remember having a "relationship" was just part of fantasy play. Wanting someone to "like like" you cropped up in middleschool but was more about acceptance than legitimate desire for romance.
Real desire for romance/sex etc. has gradually built up from about 16/17 years old. Didn't really get serious about anything till 18/19.[/quote]
This sounds much like myself.
In middle school, it was more worrying about being normal and being accepted, not actual romance.
Recently I have begun actual thoughts about this stuff, dating and romance and whatnot, and I'm a little over 16, so I can relate to you.
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I started dating a girl when I was about 13 (lasted a few months), but I was really mean to her friends and she broke up with me very angrily. We are still friends to this day and I call her once in a while (im 23 btw). Shes really cool, if I had dated her later in life when I would probably still be with her.
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