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f**k this s**t. I don't need to be more assertive, I don't need to take baths, I don't "need to get out of my comfort and socialize".

I don't need to buy high priced clothes, cologne, etc, just to impress f*****g people that never wanted anything to do with me in the first place. My money is better spent on things I enjoy.

I'm tired of the BS advice that people (male and female) give out here day in and day out. "Be confident and assertive" "Don't be bitter" "Stop being such a pessimist" "work on your social skills", as if everyone on the spectrum is capable of it.

I hate clubs and bars, I don't don't know of any anime/video game clubs in my area. Even if there were any, do any of you really think the people in there will accept a stinky, stupid, slow, and special ed person such as myself? How many of them would take out the time to actually talk and socialize with me, hell would they even invite me in?

I'm also tired of people saying that it's my fault that I'm alone, like I'm somewhat responsible for not having any friends and never dated.

Tell me, what attractive woman would go out with someone who is: ugly, has mild mental problems, slow, talks with a somewhat mild slur, (you people talk making good first impression, how is that possible for me when as soon as I open my mouth, people already think I'm not all there) poor, and a special ed kid that never made it pass 9th grade.

What group of men would want someone like me hanging around them when they're trying to talk to/pick up women.

I'm almost 26 and I can barely take care of myself. I am a bum and a pathetic loser. I'm not making excuses, these are irrefutable facts, and it's very frustrating when the people here (who actually think they know me better than myself) state otherwise.

I was born without a chance, it's unfair but it's true. I'm going to be a along forever, and there's nothing I can do (short of a miracle) to change that.

soooo....you're just venting? Doesn't sound like you really want to hear from any of us here at WP.

When you want things bad enough you find a way to make what you want happen.

First of all; if your trying to follow people's advice, they should not be saying it's your fault your alone. If your ignoring their advice, then they can say that.

As for the rest of it (you don't really have to buy expensive stuff, plenty of guys wear Kohls and get girls) you have two choices

Give up and be a hermit

Stand and fight, over and over, day in and day out.

You know, MR20, I've about come to the conclusion that life hands some people a truly f****d deal. Sounds like you may be one of them. It bites.

It sounds like you're in the process of redefining your parameters to ones that may be more realistic, given your set of circumstances. It may well be that you are destined to be substantially alone, and accepting that can allow you to put your energies in more constructive directions.

Being a bum & a pathetic loser... if you weren't being expected to be NT & just in your own self-constructed world, would that be the case?

I think your situation can change, but it's going to be a whole different paradigm than what most folks expect. Dumping the dominant framework would be the first step. IMHO

I was with you on the first few points, i.e., yes f**k peoples expectations and do your thing. however my resonance with your expression starts to diverge soon after, culminating in this :

No, people in Africa never had a chance.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/0 ... le=1_Niger

The number one poorest country in the world.

92.7% Living In Poverty
65.9% Living On At Least $1.25 A Day
89.5% Deprived Of Sanitation

If they could, these people would do ANYTHING to trade their problems for yours.

I would like to debate your labeling of yourself as slow, but since you explicitly instructed me not to we will accept this as a fact. yes you are slow, but only to an extent. you apparently have a decent grasp on the english language, you did not type with any grammatical issues.

You are not slow enough to understand this.



You have a computer and and the internet at your disposal, which signifies that there are many other luxuries also inherently effortlessly accessible to you. Such as being able to eat every day if you so choose.

You have a computer, you are not a child in Liberia. So if you still feel sad about your 'misfortunes', that is your calculated decision. Please do not interpret this post as with a hostile undertone, I promise that is not my intention. I merely hope to illuminate these simple facts.

The problem with comparing this to people in Africa is that it's a different situation altogether.

Wealth, status and relationship material are relative to the general population. If you have a cow and a small farm in Niger, you're relatively wealthy, even if your annual income would hardly buy a bus ticket in North America. Where the original poster lives, wealth is measured at a completely different level. If you make $10,000 a year while everyone else makes $1000 a year, you're wealthy; if you make $10,000 a year while everyone else makes $100,000 a year, you're not wealthy.

Relatively speaking, these people do have a chance to be wealthy, acquire status, and be succesful - they can work for their neighbours, take some of their cows, build irrigation, start a farm, and conquer someone else's farm. There are few legal consequences to that; Niger's government is highly unstable, and people in Niger are too busy killing each other to notice you walking off with their cows.

Apples to oranges. This is about as helpful as telling him he's whining about "First world problems". So what.. they are still, Problems. He cannot be held responsible for the s**t end of the stick that people in Africa are given anymore than he can be responsible for the s**t end of the stick which he has been given in North America. That's a hypothetical BS question, designed to take the wind out of his sails.

Yes, hypothetically, his problems could be worse if he had been born somewhere else or somewhen else in time. But he was born in North America, in a time period of extreme materialist sentiment, and his situation really could only be slightly worse than it is now in terms of where he could go in North America. Yeah, he could be homeless, or starving... but really his situation is pretty damn bad for a person in North America to deal with.

Lets face it, if you're born in North America, in a rural, suburban or urban area in which there is no culture, no public infrastructure and no public transit.. and you combine that with a mental problem which often makes it impossible for you to drive or function in social situations you are more or less f****d. You are totally dependent on other people, but shock, gasp, amaze, due to your difficulties socializing and your inability to travel to where like minded people congregate.. You can't meet people for you to be dependent on! Thus, your problem metastasizes. To further this, if you can't drive, and can't network... you will be very limited as to what kind of jobs you can get.. which limits how much money you can make.. which makes it impossible to MOVE and improve your situation. The problem has now effectively become downright inoperable, because every method of egress is now cut off to you.

Hate to break it to ya, pal, but you've got to take a fukking bath or at least shower like a grown up. At the very least have someone bathe you. This isn't the Dark Ages.



Erm, if you are insisting on carrying a catalog of diseases around with you by not bathing or washing, then at least by an expensive cologne. Smelling nice isn't just about impressing people, it's about having some manners and common courtesy for OTHER PEOPLE (yes, they do matter as well can you believe). When you are queuing up in a long queue, you are forcing other people to put up with your odor. I mean, how would you like it if someone didn't wipe their butt after the toilet, came in your room or your bubble space and you couldn't remove the smell after they had left. Wouldn't you feel disrespected, angry and such?

Anyways, sorry I am going off on one about hygiene but I am just giving you a little perspective on this one. The rest of your problems, work on later or heck don't work on them at all. But this needs working on whether you like it or not.

I used to work at a huge long-term hospital in New York. There was an employee there, a woman. She was about 50 years old and weighed about 350-400 pounds. You knew she was coming down thehall because you smelled her before you saw her. Oy! People used to walk away from her just to get away from the B.O. Their walking away didn't bother her at all. I guess she was used to it.

I asked other employees about it. They said she' been like that for years but she had a job working in a room alone. Probably medical records or something. I feel sorry for people who let themselves get to that. guess they simply just can't help it.

Try to understand; NOBODY LIKES A STINKY PERSON!

Nobody.

Regarding the body odor situation... if it's the water that's an issue for you, how about wet wipes? Can you use wet wipes to clean yourself up?

And it's not just a huge interpersonal issue, it's a health issue... your skin will be healthier, fewer rashes, less smegma, fewer zits if you keep the integument clean.

I shower twice a week & use wet wipes in the smelly areas daily.

this^
I empathize with not wanting to take baths/showers, I don't for actually not taking them.
I have sensory issues that make showers pretty unpleasant for me, but I find ways to make it tolerable and I keep myself clean because it effing matters!
Being clean is literally step one. It will instantly make a positive improvement in your life (if nothing else you will physically feel better).

I'm an NT and I date an Aspie male and he didn't take showers every day. He does now. He is poor, looking for work and life will not be a Disney movie with him but I I got to know him, through Facebook and then at a music video shoot, and he was the sweetest guy I had ever met. So, now he showers for me and I believe he actually doesn't mind now. He has other things that I find "different" but I don't mind because he is worth it. Showers and brushed teeth is a must if he wants me to kiss him.

Wow, you seem like a saint.

(Not being sarcastic at all, though I can be like that on this board at times.)

lol Glad you stated you weren't being sarcastic because I thought you were! No, I'm not a saint at all. I just got to know him and I have never been happier. Not saying we haven't had some hard times due to the AS and me being just plain weird but it's been worth it. We have both learned to compromise and try not to dwell on little things.