Wanting it to be hopeless?

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Hello. I'm a 20 yr old just recently diagnosed with Asperger's. I'm getting ready to transfer to a university. All this has left me baffled in terms of relationships. Let me explain:

-never had a girlfriend.

-quite quiet and introverted

-have tried ways to get rid of my romantic drive and interest (become asexual, essentially) to no avail. and this was before my diagnosis.

Knowing of the troubles that aspies naturally have with relationships discourages me even more. even though i know that its not entirely hopeless, i kinda want it to be. There's a part of me that wants to be doomed to loneliness, to not ever have to worry about all the nonsense that comes with the dating scene.

Anyone else feel this way and/or know how to handle it. also, just out of curiosity, anyone know of a way to "become asexual" or anything close to it?

There's nothing wrong with going solo, and/or being asexual. I decided when I was 8 years old that I would never marry, never have a boyfriend, and never have kids. I am in my early 50s now, and nothing ever changed my mind about my early decision, so I have remained solo by choice. I have always been fine with this decision, and never had any problems with my biological clock telling me to get married, so I could have kids. I never wanted them, ever. I don't mind others having them, but it didn't suit me. There is no law that says every single person on the planet has to have a sex partner. Some of us are fine going solo, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this choice. Better to remain single by choice, than to get involved in a relationship you really don't want, just because most people have relationships. Doing it just cause others do it, is not the right reason to be in a relationship, and isn't fair to yourself or the partner.

If you prefer being single, go for it. There are more of us out there than you realize, and many of us are single by choice. So be yourself, and if that means being single, so what?

Also, if you later on meet someone you want to be with in a relationship, you can always change course, and become a twosome.

So chill, you are not whacked out. You just prefer going solo.

Hermits of the world, UNITE!

Not having an interest in romantic relationships is not the same as being asexual. Asexuality only pertains to sex.

I can't speak for asexual people, but I'm sure that at least some of them would say that it is not possible to become asexual.

I don't think it's terribly unusual for someone your age to never have had a girlfriend. People go through life at different paces.

i wish it were that easy, but as much as i would rather be single and happy, there's another part of me that won't let me; there's a part of me that does want that connection with someone, no matter how much i realize the impossibility. it all adds up to an internal conflict, having no idea which side to go to. do you know what i mean?

I hate having to raise this topic back from the dead, but i need answers.

As ive said before, i instinctively want a normal social life and relationship and whatnot. However, there's a part of me that wants desperately to be rid of this natural urge, to just be able to trek on through life happily without the normal social perks of an NT. I want to end the internal frustration by simply not caring anymore. problem is, i do care...a lot.

As for the title of this forum. I essentially want to be rid of the hope of ever finding a relationship and stuff, so that i can just move on and not have to worry about it anymore!

Anyone else feel like this?