This is too illogical to digest.

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Congratulate me people, first conflict emerged and it's quite disturbing to the core.

So there was that planned outing for the next Saturday in a northern city, my .... partner... will bring a friend along living there, so she told me I can bring a friend or two too so my thought fell on my co-worker and best friend and his wife, a newly married Christian couple who live somewhere along the road to our destination. When I told her about them, she was like "ok, but please no alcohol on the table even beer as I can't co-sit with drinkers" - I quickly got it on what basis she's talking about:

"The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “He who believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him not sit at a table where liquor is served.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (2801)] "


I know those guys quite well and I know they don't drink alcohol at lunches so i told her it won't be a problem. However, this request still astonished me nevertheless, I sarcastically commented " You're going out with a Muslim-born apostate (me, since i am atheist now) yet you can't stand some alcohol on the table?" - however a bad-timing call came and she changed the whole subject afterwards.

This is so disturbing and illogical for me to digest!! I mean, if she has to apply her religion by the book then she shouldn't even talk to me, let alone dating me.

I am not sure how we're going to adapt to each other's social circle.

logic error *rebooting*


Then again, I've known some fellow Christians who were no better and would holler loudly about one thing, while ignoring another entirely (so they can do essentially whatever they want.) If you're going to do that, why not just be agnostic and do anything you want anyway. [shrug]

Maybe you can discuss the inconsistency with her.

Brain.exe has stopped working.

like bluemax was saying alot of western christian and jews are like that-double think- observant and yet not.

A jewish buddy of mine was like that. He wouldnt eat ham, but he was real good a rationalizing almost anything whether it had to do with religon or not. When I chided him that he didnt abstain from pork ALL of the time he said "well if you're a guest in someone's home and they offer you a meal- insulting your hosts by refusing it is a worse transgression than violating the dietary codes."

I kind of inwardly laughed at that. But -yeah- though the Torah probably doesnt actually say anything like that - there is a certain moral logic to it I have to admit!

So maybe you can take a leaf from friend's book and find a way to gently guide your girlfriend around shoals like that. Like ah....ask her "well if you insult someone by refusing to dine with them because they have an open wine bottle on the table- isnt that a worse transgression that violating a dietary law?"

Let's see, I'm not Muslim, but I do know a bit about Islam. As far as alcohol goes, it's just one of those weird things some Muslims do. Like even people that have lapsed/are apostate will still for example, not eat pork. Or even fast on Rammadan (or pretend to so they can go to the Eid dinners with all their cool Muslim bros.) As far as you being a Muslim apostate, well, for all intensive purposes, you're still just a lapsed Muslim. You've not converted to any other religion, so people look at you as just lapsed Muslim. It's like here in the States, there's people that are officially "Catholic" as they've been baptized Catholic by their parents, but they never go to church and may even be agnostic/atheist.

So as far as her relationship with you, it's like me, if I were to find an "Orthodox" girl who's the same way, baptized but never goes to church ever, and is for all intensive purposes not Christian or Orthodox Christian for that matter, but if I had family who was Orthodox (I don't) they'd be like "Yay she's Orthodox" when she's...not, but then if I were to bring, say, a Protestant, they'd cause a fit. Those types of things happen. So you're still "culturally" Muslim, because you were born Muslim and probably said the Shahada once in your life, and you've not converted to another religion. She might also wanna convert you, not convert per se, but change you from lapsed Muslim to practicing Muslim, and it'd probably be something she'd try to slowly change in time if she plans on marrying you. I know this, as my mother did it to my dad, my dad was a lapsedish Catholic, and my mother was a Protestant, my mother basically converted my dad to Protestantism, and no, the relationship didn't end up working out well at all, and my dad still didn't believe how she believed even after the "conversion."

So that's my analysis of the situation, take it for what you want.

Yeah, I mean, obviously I'm not atheist/agnostic, but uh, it must be a bit tough for you there. People describe the USA as "Bible thumping" and all that, but you guys in relatively recent times just had a civil war over religion (well it was more Israel's fault, but this isn't PPR) so religion is still very much apart of culture in Lebanon it seems, so you're not gonna really escape it other than moving out of the Middle East.

OH, BTW, I had a Muslim (lapsed into agnosticy Muslim) friend who would drink, smoke and have premarital sex and then wouldn't eat pork. Just one of those weird things...

My thinking is along the lines of 1000knives .....she's going to try to 'change' you.

I'd ditch the b***h, personally. I think you're setting yourself up for a world of religious hassle with this girl. I actually think that the comment by her could be construed as an attempt at excluding non-Muslims on her part perhaps?

View it all as a learning experience. I wouldn't dump her if you're interested in her. Just give it time. Sometimes people try to change you and don't realise what they're doing is wrong, or if they're even doing it.

You're still getting to know her. It isn't always worth quitting when you don't know fully who the person is yet.

If she does mean something to do, wait and see what happens. If that kind of behaviour gets worse, you can then decide what you want to do.