Hi, I'm new here, and this is my first post. Briefly, I'm an adult aspie, female, diagnosed about ten years or so ago. I seem to have gotten into a relationship (or something) and am lost; but there seem to be helpful people here and advice is welcome!
Ok, here's the situation. Being unemployed and an aspie, I decided a few months ago to become a truck driver (18 wheeler). I mean, what could be logical but a way of making a living which involves just me and a truck going down the highway, no human interactions, and of course I have no ties that bind me to a home situation.
I am not really interested in dating or male/female relationships. I have no friends, which generally is ok, except that sometimes it would be nice to go to a movie or restaurant with a person.
Well, I enrolled in a trucking school. All was going fine. Then one day, a snazzy red mustang was parked nearby, and jokingly, I kidded with the other female student, in front of one of the male instructors, that I no longer wanted to drive the old truck we were working with, but preferred to drive THAT car. "Jill" said a nice looking man in a suit had got out of the Mustang. I said that was too bad; not my type. Meaning suited man, but because I'm "different", I've been pegged as lesbian in the past (I'm not), and I realized my words could be misconstrued, so I quickly added that men wearing suits were not my type. Then added that Robert Redford was my type, or Russell Crowe.....at which point the instructor, "Rob" chimed in that if he lost some weight, he could look like Russell Crowe. Rob is maybe 100 lbs overweight, but is actually a pretty cute guy. I looked him in the eye and replied "Yes, you could," and then break was over and I walked away.
However, that seemed to make me take notice of him, and I did notice he was good looking, and I found myself looking at him and admiring the view from then on. And I noticed he was looking at me, too, and smiling and making small talk.
I began to like him, more and more. And it seemed like it was mutual.
However, this being driving SCHOOL, of course the final day arrived. That day started off with him climbing into the truck cab, with another student driving, me in the middle, and Rob on the passenger side. Rob said whispering into my ear that he didnt think he was going to be able to see me today, because he was only working til noon. Then he said to me that there was one thing that was very important that I not forget to do today. I had no clue, saying "What's that?", and he whispered "phone number."
So, ok, noon arrived. We all get out of the truck, I give him my card with my info on it, and he writes his name and phone number on a card and gives it to me. Then I say "see ya around" and quickly walk away so as not to cry.
Later that day, I pass my road test to officially graduate. I call his number to tell him I passed, but he sounds 'asleep' so I dont linger on the phone. About a week later, I call again, but am surprised to have his father answer the phone (it turns out he lives with his parents). So, I quickly invent an excuse for calling, saying I have a handyman type job, and to have Rob call me about it. A little later he calls back, but sounds annoyed. He says he will come by to check out the task (but has never showed up to do it nor called to say he can't.)
Time passes. It has now been a month since I left the school. I have called two more times, once when his dad asnwered again and I said I would call back some other time, and I never did. The other time I called, I got an answering machine and hung up without leaving a message.
He has not called me at all other than that one time when I requested him to.
So, ok, what is going on here? Yes, I really like Rob, and yes I would like to continue to know him (being AS, literally to know him is fine, altho friendship would be even better). But, why would someone tell me "phone number" is very important, and then he doesnt call me, and when I did call him, he seemed annoyed, which of course really puts me off from even attempting to call again. I do get the feeling that I am somehow expected to be the one who calls him - but, doesnt it usually work the other way, I mean aren't men supposed to do the calling? Or, the one who asks for the number calls? (I saw a movie, and in the movie, the person who asked for the number was the one who placed the phone call!) Or, as I said, he does odd job work, and I've also wondered if he was only intending that I get his number in case I wanted a handyman - altho if that was the case, why did he WHISPER the request instead of just saying so?
I want to continue to know him, but at this point find myself unable to call him myself; its just too scarey; and as he hasnt called me..... Is there any way to salvage this maybe friendship? Or, is it dead as a doorknow at this point?
Thanks for any help!
24 Nov 2006, 1:22 am
