Whats the deal?

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Ok, here's the thing: I am an ADHD aspie, have a decent job, study, smart, intelligent, have a pretty face, and still girls NEVER ever want to be with me. They like me, everybody does, but I'm usually "too weird." or whatever weird reason they have.
Does anyone have anything similair? I am confused, man.

Yep and I'd imagine a lot of people get the same, but I don't mind too much as I feel things will work out in the end anyway, whether it is tomorrow, next week, next year or in 20 years time. I'm seen as smart and sometimes I wonder how many people are friendly with me, just incase they need some help, but some don't know why I'm different as many don't know of my AS, as I don't think they'd understand.

I'm a lot like that, except I have a few people wanting to date me. My ex, the first and only girl I've ever dated, told me why when I asked. She basically said "Because I'm really weird too and it's not like there's anything wrong with that". Heh, that's nice and all in itself, but I mean, she IS my ex.

Personally, I feel it's good they don't want to date you, that means it'll root out the ones that have a better chance of breaking up later. I personally went through a lot of emotional turmoil from our breakup and now I've learned to wait for someone great to come along, waiting longer won't hurt you at all IMO, although I can understand your anxiety. Good luck with that!

I use my weirdness as a suit of armour most of the time. Mostly because I wouldn't have any idea how to react if somebody did start coming onto me, and would likely say something odd on purpose in order to make them back the hell off...

Maybe you're socially doing well but remember that there are always people doing better.

Ever notice that most girls tend to gravitate towards liking the same few guys? I think that proves my point.

As for the weirdness issue, I'd say it's good that normal girls don't want you; if you think you're "too weird" then probably you are not a good match.

Good point aleclair, I received plenty of attention from girls, but they were the types that wanted to change me, which caused a lot of stress for both parties.

Sure I've learnt a lot and wouldn't trade my past, sure I grow and change every day, but I must be the master of my destiny no other, especially if they can't keep up logically. It feels good alone now for the first time, knowing if someone likes me, it will be for me.

I think that's a common problem for us.

here's the way I see it.

I was diagnosed in 4th grade, also I was diagnosed with high level autism as well. which makes me unique, because I've channeled my aspieness into being unique, I'm a college freshman majoring in English/writing lit, and I'm perfectly okay with the fact that I'm an Aspie. There isn't a thing I'd change about me or my environment........well, the fact that I eat anything and I gain a pound, really bugs me.

anyhow. the normal's out there who do know what A.S. is think I act completly normal, the other Normal's who I know, think I'm ret*d, of course I point out to them that they need to stop sleeping with every girl, or I make a crack on their mother, or sister, that usually shuts them up.

the one thing I've noticed, the diagnosis for being an Aspie is that we aren't known to be very empathetic, well that's me. I'm slightly a jerk sometimes, and I've pissed off more then a few share of girls. probably because of this that I'm single. Of course the one girl that I have liked and still do like for a long time has Turrettes and ADD, so in other words she's an explosive problem. she and I have never dated, and as much as I like her, I think friends is the best way to remain, more for my sake, because I'm the only one who seems to help her out with her emotional issues...that and my parents don't exactly like her that much.

Right now I'm sorta single. I was dating an aspie girl for about a month, she's 27 and I'm 19, we're both freshman in college, and she's gotten on well with A.S. I've fared okay throughout my years. I've had some accomplishments being an Aspie. Freshman year of High school I got nominated for homecoming court, and sophmore year I got nominated and won. I did track and cross country, and I my senior year I managed the boy's varsity basetball team. Sophmore year, it took a senior girl who I'd been friends with since i was in 8th and she was her sophmore year to get me to go to Spring Formal, since then we've been close, almost had a chance to date, but nothing ever came of it, there's a three or four year difference between her and I, not that really matters since I just got out of a relationship with a girl who's 7-8 years older.

My dreams? to get married some time soon, I don't want a family til I can get finished with college, I want to be a writer, more then likely a fiction writer, and a side job as a wedding photographer, college gives the later a great chance to start since people are getting married left and right a lot, and I've actual got a possible Job offer to do a wedding this coming spring. I'm holding down a steady summer job, with a nice pay raise each summer, with weekends and school year off, and I've got a great and loving family.

yeahlp.

I think it is a common thing.

I tend to get a bunch of boys who think my visual image is cool....but a layer or three into me, well. they break into a mad run for mommy.


it is frustrating...but there is one area I am a total sap about, and that is the "lobster" thing. you know? I really do think everyone has their other half out there somewhere. maybe it takes a lifetime to find them...but at least I have something to look forward to in the meantime.

I think I've found my other half. the girl I mentioned in above posting. I think she could be the one.

Just to give you a heads-up here: you are NOT to be the first one to say this. Play it cool and wait until she decides to start giving "hints" which, if she wants it to happen, she will do. Seriously. If you start talking that "the one" business before the female has decided to bring it up, you're looking at Dumpsville, friend.

It is MUCH easier to say this than to actually do it, but I can not encourage you enough to wait untill you find someone who loves you for exactly who you are to make a lifelong committment. You can't pretend anything forever, and if you change from who you are just to please a girl or guy, you will eventually revert to who you really are. If that person doesn't love who you really are, it will all end in heartbreak.

I am in the midst of a messy divorce because I didn't wait. I thought "I can make this woman happy by pretending to be this other person" and that worked for a while, but I became so unhappy pretending that I had to stop. When I stopped, she didn't like who I was anymore and the marriage degraded. It's not her fault, really, since I wasn't upfront at the beginning about who I was.

Again, I know that it's easy for me to say 'wait', much easier than it is to be single (and, no doubt, for some it seems like they will be single forever) but referring to Willow above, I strongly believe in the lobster theory. If you meet your lobster and are already in a committed relationship, it will be far more unpleasant than it should be.

Anyway, just throwing it out there. Take or leave it as you will.

- SomeRandomGuy