If perception is reality...

Post Reply New Topic

Then how I do I have a chance at making friends and dating. Going back to my teens up until now, most people view me as this ugly, slow, half-mentally ret*d bum that's annoying. Even if you people here say it's not true, most people I've met perceive me that way, and it's hard (just by nature) to respect and/or view someone like that as an equal.

I can't change the way my face looks and the way I talk. It's annoying when as soon as I meet someone, either they pity me, or they start ridiculing me for the way I look and act.

I've eavesdropped on numerous conversations (This is back in my teen, where I actually put SOME care into how I look) when people would ask other people if I'm on crack. "Does that boy smoke crack? No?, well he sure looks like it"

What chance do I have when as soon as someone sees me they think i'm on crack or something worse. I hear people say here that first impressions are really important, I guess that's another "X" against me.


When you combine that with my extreme social awkwardness, that I have very little knowledge in anything relevant, and the fact that I still smell even after taking showers, it's no wonder that people get tired of me being around after a certain amount of time.

It's been that way from my early teens up until now.

This is why I disagree with people here that say I have a chance at dating. What "alpha" or "beta" male would want someone like me hanging around them ANYWHERE in public, let alone going places to pick up chicks/women/females, etc

What attractive woman in her 20s would even want to be seen talking to someone like me in public?

It's hopeless really. I'm a pathetic loser that never had a chance, why is it so hard for people to agree with this? All the evidence is there, you just choose to ignore it.

If you don't seem to want any encouragement or guidance, then why are you putting this out there? What message are you trying to get across, other than that you have no chance whatsoever of getting a girlfriend?

It seems to me by "encouraging" a reply like this, you're just going to make yourself feel worse. Of course some people on here are going to say that you have a chance of getting a girlfriend, as they automatically want to cheer you up and make you feel better about yourself.

I guess you have to pay for it or have a lot of money and get a bride from what ever country like the other millions dudes like you I feel sorry for the women in this situation they have a harder time doing that and die alone with a thousand animals

I can relate to much of what you've said, looking back to my college days, although I'm in my 40s now.

The biggest transition for me was after turning 30 I found out that women of that age would suddenly stop being attracted to unpredictable, arrogant, over-confident A-holes, and would start to appreciate someone with a half-decent level of intellect, good job and sense of stability.

I've asked around lots of other guys in their 30s and they have given me the same story, once a guy gets into their thirties it is almost as if the tables are turned. From my own experience, that was an understatement.

Being teenage and early 20s is hard for even good-looking guys; you have to have the looks and the slightly arrogant over-confidence in order to get the girls with similar attitudes. Many attractive women know too well that they're attractive, and have attitude to match it. (some guys do too, of course).
Now I am into my "grumpy old man" stage, I cannot resist making fun of some in a witty but slightly arrogant way, and then strangely enough then I can't get rid of them. They tend to become attracted to whose who make it clear that they are not impressed by looks alone.

How you look and speak is one thing, i have speech problems myself and sometimes people shout at me and tell me i should be locked away in a nuthouse. But still smelly after a shower? There's something terribly wrong and you should take action to solve this problem because nobody needs to stink.

You might look up the dating section here on WP or someplace else because it's probably much easier to find someone via an exchange of emails than in a bar or other places since this approach allows both parties to get to know each other and exchange some information before they decide whether they want to take things to the next level.

And finally, forget this "alpha" or "beta" male crap if you don't intend to come across as a moron. That stupid concept was never true and only helped some authors of popular mating advice books to make a fortune with the ignorance of their readership.

maybe shower more and start seeing a speech therapist.

Why not settle for someone like you? There is someone for everyone, the only thing wrong with you is your attitude and aiming too high.

Because your an aspie.... she will probably need to be less attractive than you, or have a similarly points rated mitigating illness /disorder

Sometimes I ended up with attractive young women, who were mad. I never would have been with them, if they wern't mad....

However, I dont recommend dating crazy women

Perception isn't reality without the power behind it, it's up for you to put the power and action behind that perception. Perception alone is just thought and thought alone doesn't lead anywhere.

Wolfheart is saying that you can change your reality if you put your energy into it. If you believe you're a worthwhile person who deserves to enjoy life, then other people will perceive your self-respect and treat you accordingly. The first step might be to see a doctor about your body odor issues....perhaps this is just an obsession on your part and you don't really smell? A doctor can help you with that, too.

MR20, you constantly complain about the smell yet when have you made an effort to fix it? Do you think we all started out walking without stumbling? Everything takes trial and error.