The One (That Got Away)

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Any stories about one that may have been what people normally call the so-called "One"? The Great White Buffalo? Even a blind squirrel occasionally runs into a nut, and being socially-awkward people a few of us may have accidentally crossed paths with someone who seemed to be different. Someone who didn't make us feel out-of-place in her company. Someone who actually liked us for who we are, and how other people just miss those certain traits that make us very likable, even lovable. And being Autistic, you probably inadvertently did something to screw it all up. Maybe you were boring or neurotic or insensitive. Maybe you didn't badger her about her actual problem when you asked her if there was something wrong and she said "nothing". Or maybe she just got tired of it all; of babysitting you around people, of the unbridgeable gap, of how you will never be able to look into each other's eyes and know exactly what the other one is thinking. I think I did, once upon a time. And in my experience, talking about it relieves some of the pain, at least for a while. I turn her into a story. So, any Great White Buffaloes, anyone? Let's turn them into stories.

*I'm a straight dude (as far as I know), so for anyone who desires, feel free to substitute male pronouns for the female ones that I used as you see fit.

Actually more of a role reversal... An ex believed I was the one.
Unfortunately as I stated before she was manipulative and controlling so would not have worked for my own wellbeing.

It does not mater who is at fault, if things go south and it ends its over, mark it up to a lesson learned and move on. many times when couples break up they each feel sour about the other, wanting to blame something about the other instead of owning up to their fair share of what went wrong. being an adult means taking responsibility for ones own mistakes. not you taking all the blame or the other.

I don't wanna go into it, but there is such a person I feel this way about in my life. As far as screwing it up, it was entirely my fault, and it's hard to get over, as it wasn't rejection, it was me just not pursuing due to my own lack of confidence and circumstances. Now she's married. How I feel about is much different of a situation than, if, say, a girl rejected me or whatever (which has happened before) as it's much easier to rationalize it and go "well she was a b***h anyway" or something to that effect. I can't do that with her. I did end up telling her how I felt somewhat, when she invited me to her wedding and the jig was up, so to speak. I didn't end up going.

It's been almost a year, and I feel still ruined by the whole thing, like the entire course of my life was altered by what I did. But life does go on, I guess. I think the madness that comes from "the one that got away" is what propels all the world's greatest inventions and accomplishments. Without that, those people would just remain happy and not care about building death rays all day (Nikola Tesla.) Maybe in all these great people, this loneliness propels them to do what they do.

Good news is that it can happen to serial killers too.
(Attempt to brighten some spirits)