Aspie's and romance?

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Butters
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12 Jul 2012, 2:09 pm

So naturally most people have a different view of whats romantic when compared to others.

Tho I have noticed with most people that have AS things like romance tend to be a lot emotionally. Or am I wrong on this assumption? Please correct me if I'm wrong.

I was just curious what those with AS found " romantic " as with my own observation it seems to differ from the NT perception of romance.

BrenJB
Toucan
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12 Jul 2012, 2:41 pm

I would like to know as well so I am hoping you will get some responses!

rosemund
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12 Jul 2012, 3:44 pm

To some extent, I think you answered your own question, in that you state people have a different view of what's romantic than other people. From what I have been able to tell, expression of what is romantic, that is harder for those on the spectrum to explain or show. A lot of us draw a mental blank or don't understand what will be accepted or desired by the other person. We either go too far or not far enough. If you are trying to be romantic in our direction, and you can pinpoint what they are, gearing conversation and actions toward our special interests might be a good way to begin.

Solvejg
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12 Jul 2012, 3:50 pm

I am overly romantic and I have to use all my willpower to not overwhelm my aspie boyfriend. If I had my way, I would be sending flowers to his work just to say i love him ect. I limit it to making sure I just tell him how much he means to me daily and buy him little gifts and leave him notes that express my love too.

He is very intoverted and shy and part of romance is realising the other person's personality and tailoring it to them. There is no point going overboard with someone that would hate it. Subtlety can make a person feel just as great as huge displays.

AspieOtaku
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12 Jul 2012, 3:53 pm

Solvejg wrote:

Awww that is so sweet. I wish someone was like that with me I myself have moments of being overly affectionate though.

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AScomposer13413
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12 Jul 2012, 6:36 pm

Butters wrote:

I was just curious what those with AS found " romantic " as with my own observation it seems to differ from the NT perception of romance.

This point confuses me a bit. I never actually thought where would be a form of distinction between "NT romance" and "AS romance".

Kinme
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12 Jul 2012, 7:34 pm

I'm very emotional, but I hardly consider myself a romantic person.

Shatbat
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12 Jul 2012, 9:01 pm

Solvejg wrote:

Basically this. In my case I avoid showering her with gifts because I don't want to be too clingy and overbearing, and also little things like a random note or a random phone call or small things that show her I was thinking about her have been really appreciated.

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