Never thought I'd say this

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Hi everyone,

I'm stuck in an awkward situation which fortunately doesn't happen often...I have too many guys to choose from. It's absolutely terrible and I don't know what to do and it's stressing me out big time. I don't know how it happened and I don't know what to do. Ultimately, I'd like a boyfriend, but I'm just not sure if I really like any of these guys and it makes me sad because I was thinking about how I'm single and how awful it is, but I've been in relationships before just to 'not' be single and it turned out bad cause I didn't connect with the other person. At the moment, I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place with the following guys:

1. Someone who likes me and has recently contacted me. He asks me out to lunch and to come over and hang out with him a lot but I'm not really attracted to him
2. Someone who I met a while ago who understands me pretty well but is rather aloof and my friends think he's strange and arrogant. I think I like him but don't know if he likes me as anything more than a friend
3. Someone, who while watching the person above at a pub gig, got chatting to me about a game we both like. We agreed to exchange numbers to play this game together next time either of us are play it, but he texts me a lot and asked me to the movies this week. I don't know if I like him or not but I agreed and thought I'd see how it goes but feel sort of bad
4. Someone who I thought likes me but he always flirts with other girls and goes on other dates with girls. I used to like him but didn't know how to act on it. We see each other regularly due to a club we're both in
5. Someone I really really like and I think likes me but is in a sort of 'professional' position above me. I don't want to make a move because if I'm rejected things could get very awkward. He's funny and nice and has my sense of humour but I know nothing about him, I don't even know if he has a girlfriend/married/fiance or how much older than me he actually is
6. My housemate who I used to like years ago. We have a long history and I'm strongly attracted to him although in reality he drives me up the wall. He recently hinted that he wants to go travelling with me and is really protective of me. Some days it's as if he's my bf but our relationship is so confusing sometimes he barely speaks to me
7. A co worker who I get along with really well and we talk a lot during the day. I used to like him but we've been getting fairly close recently

I don't know what to do. I feel terrible going on a date with person number 3, and I feel bad trying to avoid person number 1. Should I just date them and see how it goes, or go with my gut that I'm not really attracted to them? Why do I feel like I need a guy to understand me? Am I stupidly wasting chances of finding a bf if I keep rejecting people like this? What can I do to get closer to person 5, or is this just a stupid idea? Or should i just forget all of the above because obviously nothing's working?

By not attracted to it doesn't mean they have to look or act a certain way or have a certain job, I'm not like that at all. If I'm attracted to someone (even if I logically think they are 'ugly,' or they actually treat me very poorly in real life e.g. person 6) I just feel connected to them and I can't explain it. Has anyone been in the above situation before and how did you cope?? I really hate going on dates and would rather meet people over the natural course of life.

Any help appreciated,
Cad

go with your gut and forget the others. this situation looks really ret*d. to be honest. but like you said go with your gut. finding someone that your compatible with makes a difference. but since this situation you are in,is completely out of my perspective.

Person #1 likes tomatoes and dandelions. You can meet them at the fishing hole every Thursday during Spring to possibly trigger an event

Person #2 is probably the most difficult, will take the most time and doesn't respond well to most gifts, but you'll get a golden cow in exchange for marrying them

Person #3 Can be found at the pub every night. Their parents own a vineyard and they like grapes and wine as gifts.

Person #4 likes bugs and books and can be found at the library on most days (except on Sunday when its closed). They are shy and easiest and fastest to woo.

Person #5 People say don't dip your pen in the company ink for a reason

Person # 6 can be found at their parents ranch on most days. They like receiving petunias and wool.

Person # 7 is another ink-pen situation

But seriously, just go with whatever feels right to you and with whom you share the most mutual chemistry and interest.

Last edited by Rorberyllium on 16 Sep 2012, 7:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Perhaps he's an Aspie as well or has some Aspie issues; if that's the case he may be very horrible at taking hints or expressing interest. Try telling him you like him & if he likes you too that would be my pick based on the descriptions

you don't have to pick just yet. i'd take a wait and see approach. may want to steer clear of the guy who is your superior. could be very awkward and perhaps unethical for him.

He is probably an aspie yes, we got talking one night after one of his gigs which I also played in in another band about how autism has a bad rap in the press and it went from there. I don't know if he is aloof and disinterested or just likes his space like I do.

This is a good idea.

Thanks everyone for your help, I get overwhelmed when I can't decide what to do. I'll just wait and see and trust my gut even though logically that seems a bit weird.

By the way, Rorberyllium your post made me laugh!

*loves Rorberyllium's response*
*...also has nothing really useful to add.*

#2 seems like an Aspie. If you have: 1. things in common and, at least as importantly, 2. a similar neurology, go for it. If both of the conditions are not met, a long-term relationship may become exponentially problematic.

I would screw them all, and go for the one who rocks your world the most

That's a good strategy, thanks