No desire to settle down?

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I've been in and out of a ton of romantic relationships and... today I was in my old office and the when-are-you-going-to-get-married-and-have-babies crew got on my case about the "failure rate" of my relationships... when it occured to me that I don't think of the end of a romantic partnership as a failure in and of itself.

And while I've received my fair share of slut shaming for being frank about this, even when I love someone, I dislike the restriction of monogamy.

I can't imagine life consumed by a relationship ever again. Plus, I'm insufferable. I know this and I embrace it, and I'm content with a life spent never a day in nuptualdisaster.

What kind of relationship in terms of sexual partnership is ideal to you, dear reader?

Me? I prefer mating for life.

Is "Not sure yet" a valid answer?

You're 25 years old.

Even if you don't want kids, one day your youthful looks will fade and you'll want companionship, wherein you'll probably settle down with whomever is the most convenient.

That, or end up a spinster.

As I said in my initial post, I have no desire to spend a lifebound to another person. Companionship? It's not as if I need to live with someone or be in a special relationship if I desire company. I aim to live my life without the burden of another. Most of the older women(60+) I admire are free of children and have never been married.

I'm not sure where you got the impression I have youthful looks as social currency, that means very little to most of the women I see socially. Most of them identify as heterosexual 95% of the time, so I really don't think a pretty face is what's working in my favor. It'd have to be an awful pretty face, and I assure you, it's not.

In any case, you failed to answer the question, ma'am.

You are on a forum for people who are here specifically because their brains function outside of socital norms and you are still pushing them. I accept that you have these feelings are you incapable of accepting that others might have different desires than you? You are free to express your opinion but do not insist that we must hold the same.

I think so.

I've never had any romantic relationship at all, so no idea.

Ideally and religiously, I'm supposed to be married, and not divorce, or be celibate, no other options allowed. But, there's a 50% success rate with marriage, so the odds are more likely than not I'll be divorced, since my luck seems in general bad.

So maybe the answer is "for life" or "none."

you managed to insult younger woman, middle-aged women, and older women all in one post. i think that is a record.

i always figured i was not the type to settle down, but... i did. and then i figured i would not settle down again, yet... with my boyfriend i would. i dunno, i kind of have a free spirit and don't like staying in one place for too long. but at the same time, when i fall in love i will commit to that person if they want.

age doesn't have THAT much to do with it. some people want to get married and settle down by the time they are 16, and others never want to. nothing wrong with staying free-spirited.

I might settle down some day just not today!! I am always moving like every 2 to 3 years and I have issues trusting people right away out of fear of being betrayed or in an abusive relationship like I did in the past.

It wasn't actually aimed at women collectively. As people age, the idea of settling down becomes more appealing than at younger ages. Even if a younger person has no desire to settle down when society says it's appropriate, later in life they may find themselves changing their minds. This isn't so much for society's sake, but rather their own. Aging means slowing down, which often means all the passions and desires of youth seem less appealing, or less attainable, or less desirable, and companionship suddenly becomes more important than one may have though.

As the old saying goes, "beggars can't be choosers," and there are people who may not have found "the one" but settle for whomever is close and convenient later in life.

This may be a generalization, but it's not all that uncommon. I don't have a report for you, but don't tell me you're oblivious to this reality. I think a 25 year old may have a different outlook at, say, 55. Can't say for sure. And there's nothing wrong with changing one's mind. My biggest criticism of the OP, if any, was the use of the term "ever again." Dating at 25 is much easier than at 65 and this is a reality many who didn't want to settle down eventually have to face. And there's nothing wrong with not wanting to settle down now, just don't be so certain opinions won't change with age...

...or if it doesn't, she'll end up a spinster...and there's nothing wrong with that either.

First, I thought I was one of them...are you implying I'm just some agitator here for kicks??

As for desires, I think you misunderstood the point. I wasn't talking about my desires, but rather the OP's. The desires of a 25 year old may be very different from those of a 55 year old. It's easy to say "I'll never be in a relationship again." But will that still be a reality when one enters his or her twilight years and may just want companionship and to not be alone?

You are free to express your opinion, but if you're uncertain about something, ask for clarification rather than assume I'm "pushing." After all, my brain functions "outside of socital (sic) norms," too.

Id rather be alone than be abused, betrayed, and heartbroken again!!

I perfectly understand that the OP doesn't want to be bound to a partner for life. Monogamy is a highly unnatural system that's enforced upon us from birth.

I am implying that certain words you used were insults and might well put off a significant portion of the audience. Removing them from your post would make it less harsh and and make the information portrayed more accessable.