So as the title says, have you gotten to the point to where your so exhausted from trying to date that you don't feel like its worth the energy anymore? I feel as if I've gotten to that point. Being high functioning austisitc I obviosuly lack the social skills and what not that might be required to date someone one. I'm not as bad as say 5 years ago when I graduated from high school, but too someone thats not familiar with autism or doesn't wanna take the time to learn (which is sadly many people out there) I probably come across as "weird" or "odd" to a lot of people. I've gone on a few dates here and there but usually it resulted in being the first and last time I saw some of the girls because it was just that bad. I managed to get a "girl friend" in march, but then ended up dumping her 2 months later because because thats how long it was since I saw her in person despite the fact that she lived a whole 30 mins from me. Said it was because she was "too busy" but had plenty of time to update and posted pics to her facebook 3-4 times a day. Acourse I was made out to be the bad guy with dumping her, but after not seeing her in 2 months and sometimes going 4 days without even getting a text message from her and only getting one if I texted her about it, I didn't really care anymore....
I work at Costco, yes its a great place to work and the pay and benefits that you get from it are unheard of. The major downside is that your days off, works days, and work times are ALWAYS inconsistent. An example is you could be working 36 hours one week, have thurs and fri off and the next week only be working 26 hours, have mon and tues off and be working totally different time frames. Its almost impossible to plan for things in advance while working there. But to someone like me who can't seem to get a girl friend for the life of him and doesn't care to be around his family much due to some family circumstances that have the law involved that I won't go in to detail with, I guess it works. Obviously with these inconsistent hours it doesn't leave me much cushion to try to go out and do things where I may meet girls my age, and beings I don't drink I seldom have a reason to go to a bar unless its a work gathering I might attend here and there. I've tried dating sites, and obviosuly with these amount of topics on this forum about them they're far from successful being a guy and being autistic. The few that I thought maybe I'd have a chance with usually branch off to one of a few things that results in failure at the end,
A) Most of the time I'm not off work till 10:30 or later at night, not that people my age don't stay up late, but the problem is most people my age have a kid or kidS, by then they're in bed and don't have anyone to watch them and the baby daddy lives in another state and not on good terms and most of them are probably not gonna invite some random person they met off the internet into their house with their kids, which I don't blame them one bit with all I see and hear on tv now and days about these kinds of things. The end result is I never end up meeting some of them and after awhile they get bored and move on to someone else
B) They just play games. I've had some that act interested but the second I mention I'm autistic the messages come to an end. My favorite so far is one that clicked yes on the "meet me feature" on datehookup.com We messaged back and fourth that day then texted eachother that night. Things seemed go ok. The next morning I texted her, hours go by no response. I got on my profile and saw she was online. I sent a message asking if she got my text or if her cell was broke or something, 10 mins later the message was deleted, not read. This was a few months ago. Last weekend I get another yes from the lets meet feature, its that same girl.....I sent her a message telling her she already said yes and when I tried talking to her again about she ignored me. I get a message back saying "sorry phone died" ok....well your phone wasn't required to use this site to message me on, and the fact that she was on it after her phone supposedly died that day lead me to believe she was using a computer.....so I sent a message back saying something like "oh well I just thought maybe you didn't wanna talk to me or anything" 5 mins later the message was deleted, no response, the hell? What hilarious is I had the same display picture all those months, so I highly doubt it was a case of she forgot about messaging me before.
C) The last and prob most common problem is that most girls on dating sites won't even bother looking at your profile just because of your pic. I'll see 10 new girls join plenty of fish in my area, and I don't bother trying to message them anymore because I know 9/10 won't message me once they see my pic because I'm not a desirable body type or whatever, and the one does is just doing it be nice obviously with her one worded responses that end after 2 or 3 messages. I'm far from fat or anything like that. I'm 130 lbs 5"9 skinny built. Most girls seem to only want the "muscular stud" types.
I even tried craigs list. I had one really pretty girl message me and we seemed to click. After 3 days she sends me a text "Oh yeah I'm 9 months pregnant too" I felt like God was probably laughing at me at the moment. I have nothing against trying to date people with kids, but thats not exactly a turn on to me when you say your about ready to pop any day with someone elses kid....We talked for a couple months after she gave birth, then all the sudden I quit hearing from her for like 2 weeks. I texted her and got someone else that apparently now has her number. I didn't know her last name so I had no way of getting in contact with her. What ironic is I saw she made a profile on POF, looked at my profile, but hasn't tried to get a hold of me since, and I'm not rushing too either beings she claimed I was a good friend, but left me in the dark like that. I had another one last month that said she liked what I wrote on my craigs ad and asked to see my pic. I send her one and 10 mins later I get a response "sorry I don't think it'll work out." Its nice to know we live in a society where you can determine things won't work out with someone after just seeing ONE picture of them and not even getting to know one thing about them.
11 Aug 2012, 2:45 pm
