Am I a bad "type" of person?

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lately I've felt like I'm a bad type of person, along with this, I feel I'm stuck in a situation in life that makes it impossable to be a good type of person, or find a girl who'll actually like me...
its sickening, really, the fact that I'm 19 years old and never even really met a girl, at all ever.
(except for one who moved away and never actually liked me anyway)
and now that I'm out on my own, with my own apartment, I got nothing to do and no where to go. there's are no good places to socalize where I live, I don't have a car so I can't go out of town, I was abused by hopital staff and had to defend myself, so they got me arrested and now I'm on probation all because the docters told lies to the cops. every time I go out for a bike ride or a walk, people insult me, and bully me just like they did back in highschool, I wasn't allowed to graduate with everyone else, I have been shunned my own age group, and I feel like I'm screwed, given the circumstamces, how am I ever to find I girlfriend? I just want someone special in my life, I need to be important to someone, its the only way my life would ever have meaning or purpose. I feel deprived of all the things everyone else my age takes for granted. I am very lonely, and being that as it is, the longer I go all alone, the more screwed up my mind becomes... everyone I see has some sort of relastionship, and I'm sick of seeing all these couple around town, they just don't realize how lucky they really are, to have that special person by their side... and its extemely affected me mentally. most people don't know how bad it hurts me and affects my mind, but that only makes it worse... what do I have to do to find someone to love me? I can't take it anymore! I have no worthwhile reason to live if I can never be part of a relastionship, and so I have only two choices, for one, I can drown in my sorrows, or I can just die. not like it would matter to anyone... I just want a relastionship... with a girl who'll actually love me...

nobodys going to love you if you dont love yourself so i say work on the things that are pissing you off make some friends and meet girls etc you have to try its a shame to just die i feel the same way alot of the time too but you can only try! try your hardest and never give up!

do work or have any hobbies? its easy to find people in those areas. my town is kind of the same you can only drink here so i do that now and then and if you realise some nt's are just as bad off as us! you realy have to work hard at this i have an by no means am i happy.
so do you know why everyone picks on you? i was very down at one point and i decided to change myself i went to the gym alot and it does make you feel good getting endophins flowing.
thing for me arnt great atm ive been in bed over two months from a bike crash and think the same you do but i know ill get on my feet again and be happy again!
things are never going to be perfect for us but we can make them better we just need to put in more effort and belive in ourselfs!

how do you know nobody shares the same hobbies? i bet theres more then you think and i bet you theres a few people that are alone too! your 19 so your only young dont put to much effort into finding a girlfriend as in my experience you find them when your not looking. but the easyest way to find girls i through friends it isnt hard that way. dont just come up with more excuses think of why things dont happen and then think of ways you can improve them!
i seem to be the opposite of you i cant find a girl that i like! lol

No - you are not a bad person.
I can say this from my own experience. My on mother thought I would become a serial killer once and said that people like me are why relationships fail and society is going downhill. To your credit, I actually have little interest in any kind of relationships beyond necessity, so do not think it applies to you - she also thinks I am faking to be an Aspie because I want to be "special"/different/have been reading too much on the internet. All my life I was told to be myself, but when I did, my family complained and said that was not who I was, mocked my voice/how I did things, and gave me more lectures about how my mother loved me than I can count. And massive other issues that followed. I actually almost believed I was a robot made by aliens who either abandoned to mission, or I proved defective so was tossed - on top of that, I often begged God to completely remove my existence so I would never have messed up people's lives in the first place (until a massive boost of confidence a year ago). Trust me, you are not alone. And my sister can attest to felling like the whole town is against you.

I am currently living at college right now (19 also) doing everything possible not to return home (other side of the country). For this I am fortunate, so that is where I guess similarities fall short. But the point.

Standing alone is hard, especially when it seems like the whole world is against you. Sometimes you have to only stand by yourself, but drag other people along as well. It is stressful, and can be heavy to the point where you are incapable of standing. Yet the best advice I can give IS to "just be yourself." Because if you are anything but that, then you will start tearing yourself to pieces. Do not shut yourself away either. Most people are already judgmental, blind idiots. If you are not 100% you, then that just makes the problem worse. Also, does it really matter what other people think? No one has the same brain. No one understands you the way you do (then comes that rare person who seems to know you better than yourself). If you want people to see who you really are - then show them.

Little steps. One goal at a time. As awesome as it would be, life is more or a road than a flip switch. If you cannot do something in your town, perhaps try doing something online. Make it a goal to somehow get out of there if you believe it is the root of your problem. If you want to drown your sorrows - then do so by doing something you love doing.

As for girlfriends - the greatest things in life are worth waiting for. I do not know much about girls (for one because I am a guy, for two, I have never dated), but I do know this: flip how you look at it completely around. Don't try to get a girl interested in you. Try to get interested in a girl. Find out what she likes or dislikes - then use that creativity of yours to make her day! Become genuinely interested in her (and in other people as well if not too exhausting). People like people who like them. Best part of this is, you can shove your own life aside for a while. Low self esteem, feelings of worthlessness, problems - all of them gone, because the only thing that matters is the person you are with.

Anyway, I should shut up now...