"I just want you to be happy."

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"I just want you to be happy."

Okay, we are a brutally honest bunch here, so what do you think - is it ever true, or is it just a load of bollocks? Have you ever said it to an ex (or similar) and actually meant it? Do you think you could?

It can be true, it depends when someone says it.
If they dump you and say that, it's not really true.
If someone sees you with someone else, and they were previously possessive then it isn't true in that case, either.

When would it be true?

I think during an amicable split or if the person saying it had a sense of guilt for their mistakes or are feeling down and blame themselves.

When I say it!

Seriously - this phrase could be 100% true or completely false... it's all the person and how honest they actually are.

Blechhh.... what a dilemma.

I must be a horrible selfish person then

I don't think I could ever mean it. Of course I might want someone to be happy, but the "just" part is wrong. I would basically only want them to be happy if I'm happy too. If I'm not where I want to be yet, but they have moved on, I'm not going to feel completely okay with that.

I assumed everyone was essentially selfish in this way but it appears I'm wrong. Something to work on then!

Of course, there can (maybe should) be a "but" after that... Don't put yourself down for being honest or trying to avoid hurting someone excessively...

No I have to say I get like that, too. I would prefer to be happier before the other person, but will not hold a grudge if they beat me to happiness (though it is tempting!). Human nature I suppose.

I really have no idea of other people's motives and what they actually mean when they say something, but I know that when I said it I meant it. I knew a girl once, she saw something in me that very few people saw. But after a very intense year of seeing each other regularly we eventually parted ways. And though for the last five years I have been constantly tempted to get her back, I stop myself. Something is wrong with me, and I just don't have the ability to make her happy. Not like other people she will be able to actually make a connection with and can make her feel loved and important. For all I know she could have been my last chance at this. I think I still love her, and I probably always will. And that is precisely why I'm never going to try to get her back. She could do so much better than me. I genuinely meant it when I said I want her to be happy. Even if it means me not being happy.

If I said it, I would mean it. I've actually thought about that before -- what if my boyfriend had a chance at true happiness that didn't include me? I would want him to take that opportunity! I would cry and cry and cry, but I'd rather lose him to his happiness than keep him at the expense of it.

Sparrow

A comment that is such a double edged sword that you can't really tell if it's sincere or insincere, I think you would have to analyse and weigh everything that has previously happened and decide for yourself on the situation as other have stated.

It's a load of bollocks. If they really want you to be happy, and you're happy with the person you're with, and they break up with you, it's a big slap to the face. It's almost like they're taunting you with it.

Personally, if I say it, I leave out the bolded word, knowing I would be lying if I said it like that. Otherwise, I say it and mean it. As for others, it depends on when and how it's said. For the most part I've seen it used to save a bruising of the ego, so mostly it's crap, but I wouldn't be surprised if there might be some instances where it can be true.