Dating NT's: traits of good partners for an aspie

Post Reply New Topic

I wonder what kind of partner would be ideal for an aspie. I don't know about aspies dating other aspies, the advantage would be that aspies probably understand each other better yet there would probably be problems as well + bigger chance of children having autism as well.

Occasionally I've met some NT's who were very understanding about my situation even though some of them didn't even know that much about autism. So perhaps aspies would be best to seek out a partner with strong empathy. I've also been wondering about age, about whether it would be better to date more mature women (doesn't always depend on age though) but I never really get a chance to meet older women. I find that I never really connect with women I meet (mostly late teens to mid 20s). This likely depends a lot on the age of the aspie as well, but it often seems to me that older people respect me more and try harder to understand me.

Of course I'm only guessing, I've only been in a few rather short relationships with not exactly good girlfriends for me. What kind of traits do you long for in a partner and which kind of personalities in general go well with aspies?

Aspies do not necessarily understand other Aspies better than NT's at least that's my experience. It depends whether they are path A or path B types, the former the thinkers and not much interested in the social stuff, the latter ones socially oriented but awkward. Grossly simplified, in this case you would have two aspies but without a chance of getting along with each other, let alone getting happy, because one is a thinker and would communicate like in a thread--about topics. The other one, however, is all about feelings and people and you can imagine that this constellation would lead to disappointment and alienation on both sides.

I think it's not about AS or NT but if their mutual personalities, lifestyle, and value systems are compatible or not.

What, are you going to psych test your dates? LOL Since no two aspies are alike, I don't know how you'll find the one, perfect personality type for all.

If you meet someone you click with, then you click. It's important to be picky because being alone is infinitely better than being with someone who is completely incompatible, just convenient - maybe make a list of qualities you're looking for, what you require, what you'd like, what you won't put up with, etc...

To meet people, you have to put yourself out there. Volunteer, join a club, get a hobby. You won't meet anyone if you don't go around people.