I told my crush I'm not gonna ask her out anymore

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Because I think she keeps sayin no. I dont know, the way's I've asked her out are so weird an awkward, and our chemistry is very cool, I have no idea about this girl. I ranted about all this on another thread.... damn this woman and her devilish ways of being so coy and cute, but passively flirtatious to a point that I will never know if she just wants to be one of the guys and make low brow jokes with me, or that she actually likes me. Damn the fact that it's impossible for me to close the deal on any girl I like.

The only reason I was married for many years is because my ex wife said these magic words "you're kinda cute, are you single?" That might sound like a compliment, but it also means that I wouldn't have been able to ask you out had it not been for your assurance in that statement that I would not be rejected!

Damn all of you weird, cute, quirky girls who are just so darn cute, communicate in frustrating ways, like the same things I like, and you're all alternative and cute and stuff.......

Damn my devilishly handsome good looks and ability to make you laugh, only to be helpless and unable to ask you out lol!

Dammit all!! !! !! !! !!(explode)

I'm ranting......

You should have just done some PUA stuff (Negging, C&F, Mystery method, etc.).

the opposite of this
ask nicely in a no pressure way and if she likes you she'll say yes and if she doesn't like you she'll say no, but it's no loss to you because she didn't like you like that anyway

The problem with this, and it's a good idea, but I've already confused the situation by asking her out two different times, both in awkward ways. Even after that, we still totally gel at work. But...I'm mr. Analyzer, so I pick up on all these little nuaces of things she does and try to read her. I tease the shoot out her sometimes, she hates a certain thing I do, so she'll glare at me, says she's gonna kick me in the face, but we're laughing, bantering. SHe's a tough broad! Martial arts, carries a knife lol....it all sounds terrible, but I take it as flirting.

I cant tell if she's trying to be one of the guys or she's flirting......

I gotta look this up and see if some of these methods can be done morally, with minor manipulation, and good hearted game playing, Teasing, flirting....not manipulator rapist game playing,,,,ya know?

You might want to read this, and the responses to it, first:
PUA Negativity

While I don't have real issues with PUA tactics, I have noticed that people facing problems with being awkward in the first place, don't always know when the appropriate time is to cease the negging, to start being more themselves, and that concrete relationships seldom actually form due to what has been done in the PUA books. It helps awkward guys feel like playas for awhile, but they eventually realize it's all an act, and they end up feeling worse about themselves.

haha probably true

I think if she was going to bite she would've
when you say awkward do you mean it was ambigious whether or not you were asking her out?

ik once or twice I've thought a guy was teasing me by asking me out because in my mind he couldn't possibly want me

do you think she's confused or that she's trying to pretend it didn't happen to keep the friendship going?

My advice would be to have a conversation where you tell her straighforwardly that you have such a great time with her at work and such that you'd like to take her on a date and see if there's something there, make sure to use the word date


you're response to the PUA stuff indicates to me that you'd probably be an excellent date so I really hope things work out for you
if you get a date you'll have to update us

theres no real manipulation in PUA. its more degrading to think women are that feeble minded to fall for something so silly than to actually use PUA for what it was meant to. To give guys a routine of what to do when talking with women and show them what the things a woman says does can mean. Add a bit of numbers game and you have the real reason why PUA can work. (note, can work. not will work).

My asking her out was very ambigious....both times.....and I'm always messing around and teasing so maybe she thinks I'm joking or playing.....I really should just be direct with her.....I thought of even giving her a note like in high school, write her name on it, tell her I have a crush on her....that would either be super endearing or creepy lol

Thank you guys for listening to all my ranting as I turn into a 16 year old boy over this girl.

Me this girl I was ranting about, we continued to get close, I really thought that we were into each other. But I quite my job at the place we were both working, I couldn't handle it, and now she pretty much hates me. I guess she took it personally, I dunno, kinda weird. Good times folks, good times.