So I've determined I've found my true love. Even though we consider are selves partial boyfriend and girlfriend, my heart beats especially for him. I am very scared he'll chose my best friend or this other girl in my class over me.
I've had many a boyfriend but never one that I've felt deep feelings for. I've never felt like anybody wanted me. All of my other relationships only lasted a couple of weeks, if that.Therefore, my fear of being unloved and abandoned is very high.
I'm not very pretty in others eyes. Another on of my male friends that I never went out with proved my statement. My best friend said that she's not pretty and this guy(once again, not my partial boyfriend), said to her "You've got to be kidding me!". I said that guys didn't think I was pretty either. So he said "Okay, you've both got to be kidding me!"
I know I'm attractive. I have lots of love to give. I'm just very paranoid about this situation. This is the kind of situation where I would finally experience heartbreak. All of my other boyfriends I really didn't care after we broke up. We stayed friends. I wouldn't be able to look this person and my best friend or some other girl in the eye anymore.
Up until now I've felt like something nobody wants. So, tell me am I being paranoid or is this feeling normal?
_________________
“There’s a lesson that we learn
In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
-Down, The Birthday Massacre
03 Sep 2012, 5:41 pm
