22 Jun 2012, 8:42 pm
Three weeks ago: Honestly was told that "You have done nothing wrong and everything right."
Now: I have made, apparently, a big enough of a blunder that I've seemingly lost the girl I love more than anything else. I had been lost and scared and worried and that made me do things that were rash, and I guess the first few major things I did wrong were enough to take care of a relationship that had been going on since last November.
Junk food only depresses me. I hope that she will become calmer and be open to start over, but if not, I am still open to be her friend.
I never thought any mistake in the world I could commit would be too much for her to forgive. Not that that made me think it was okay to make mistakes - I had tried my best to do what I thought was right - and my blinded-by-concern self ended up only doing the worst things possible. And the more honest I am, the worse it gets, but I will not lie to her about my blunder - she's aware of most of it, and I've been telling her the rest via email.
Long distance relationships are hard. I was willing to forgive her blunders, and I did, and I had hoped that even if I messed up it wouldn't be the end of the world - but 12/21/12 passed by and yet I'm still alive.
Just wanted to let people on here know, in case you all remember some of my posts a few months ago.
23 Jun 2012, 11:05 am
24 Jun 2012, 1:04 pm
I guess I was also venting.
Short story:
Long distance.
Fell in love.
Visions of perfection of each other.
Three weeks ago, still honestly in love and loved and nothing had been done wrong that couldn't be forgiven.
Was told a secret.
Broke confidentiality and confronted a family member for making her sad, told the secret to someone who didn't absolutely need to know.
Ended, somehow.
Any counselor would've told me that yes, breaking confidentiality was good - but maybe I could've done it a -little- differently...
24 Jun 2012, 2:17 pm
25 Jun 2012, 9:43 am
Well, yeah, bad thing for the relationship, good thing for her as a person and safety 'n stuff. In any case.. I see it from her point of view now, or at least I understand, and even if that doesn't fix things, it's better than if I never understood at all.
.. I dreamed about her last night though [innocent dreams!!], and it was the first dream in which she'd ever turned me away. So I guess even my subconscious sees where it stands. Thanks for listening, WP! 
27 Jun 2012, 3:15 pm
Short story:
Long distance.
Fell in love.
Visions of perfection of each other.
Three weeks ago, still honestly in love and loved and nothing had been done wrong that couldn't be forgiven.
Was told a secret.
Broke confidentiality and confronted a family member for making her sad, told the secret to someone who didn't absolutely need to know.
Ended, somehow.
Any counselor would've told me that yes, breaking confidentiality was good - but maybe I could've done it a -little- differently...
In almost exactly the same situation right now!
The only difference, she also did stuff in the past which I believe is actually worse then what I did.. Yet I forgave her for those things.
16 Aug 2012, 4:40 am
