Over Protective Parents

Post Reply New Topic

I'm 23 and a friend was going to visit from out of state. I asked my dad if he'd be willing to give him a ride from the airport, "don't involve me. you know what I think about this" though he'd expressed that it was "up to me" and my decision, he won't support me at all in my relationships. I am struggling a lot, because aside from casual sex that he won't know about, I want a real relationship, but it's impossible for him to approve or support me, same with my brother...so, I guess it feels like he's so against me dating, and bases it on my personal bad experiences...because whenever a relationship goes wrong, it's like I was stupid and it was my fault.

He actually exclaimed this in my past relationship, when I broke up with someone I was moving in with...because I found out he had a porn addiction/the bf, and I wouldn't be with him over a few other things. So my "type" is the type my dad hates it seems, though because I find people who are damaged like me, or at least...I date people with an understanding, the same mental illness like schizophrenia. And my dad wants to think I am above that. It's not fair to me.
It doesn't help that I'm living off his income, still. That I can't find a job, or work, or drive. So essentially, I am disabled at least in a sense--but not on disability, or able to get it...and I am amazed that people on disability can spend thousands on things they don't need.

I feel jipped.
I really wish I could live without being dependent, and I don't think my dad will ever accept the idea that I have a disability, even slightly. He supports my getting help and medicaiton..welll, everything. He's extremely supportive to me. But not always going along with my decisions and that gets in the way because he has a lot of control over them...because he has all the money and I do not really have my own money, just an allowance. I am spoiled in this way, but I don'tt want to be spoiled. I really want freedom...the over control stuff is making it hard for me to make my own decisions. Because it's always his word over mine, in a lot of ways, like for BDSM. He threatened to disown me over being involved in BDSM community, and I was dumb to even tell him. I wanted to be able to talk to my dad about things, it's getting hard to...I am realy sad.

I really like this guy and I want him to visit and he's ready to visit at the end of August, but it's too stressful with my dad being here...in town, where I live..everywhere, I can't get away. I really am not trying to diss my dad, or say he's a control freak. He's just extremely over protective and it's driving me nuts.

Ahhh, Daddy's Little Princess...
No offence but he still sees you as the young girl. To me, he won't approve of anyone... I think it's because he's afraid to lose his daughter.
If he's saying that he won't approve of the type you like and he's saying you can do better when your dating people with similar difficulties... I can honestly see why you would be confused, I would also be confused in your position.
At the end of the day... he has to know that you have needs and can't be with him forever and that you can make your own decisions.