Online Dating

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So, have any of you guys tried this? I have been wondering what online dating is like and want to know from your experiences. Is it better Online or IRL?

I personally haven't and wouldn't unless I got extremely lonely. Making so much effort to make myself appealing to strangers on the internet doesn't appeal to me. If a relationship happened for me I'd rather it happen in a less forced scenario. Plus, unless you are a good looking man you might find it quite difficult to even get replies, but there are some threads here with tips if you go ahead with it.

Yes, I tried a number of them, and put most of my effort into eHarmony (paid membership) for three months. The only real positive I learned from eHarmony was that there are a lot of single women where I live. I only contacted a handful (granted I should have made more of an effort) and nobody ever responded. In fact, one I knew indirectly from work who I tried to contact not only blocked me but pulled all her pictures immediately (talk about a slap in the face). I did have 8 women contact me first, but to say they were the some of the worst 8 of the 200 would be an understatement. I should not have closed 1 down so early but the other 7 were not compatible in any way and I wonder if they read anything past my height.

I found most of the women were decent enough as human beings but they were practically clones of each other. Almost all said the same cliches, almost all were nurses or teachers, almost all were frequent international travelers (where do they get the money?) and almost all eventually showed to be incredibly superficial (like height was more important than character). I only openly communicated with one women and she flaked after two weeks, likely because I told her the truth when she asked about relatives: I do not get along with my relatives at all and told her flat out why when asked. I didn't badmouth them, just explained politely why without getting too personal. Oh well, it seems to me woman don't want someone who is honest.

I also tried OKCupid and POF and they were both a complete waste of time and effort. I received no serious messages and didn't even see one woman on either site I saw potential with. The overwhelming majority of women on those two sites (at least where I live) are entitled princesses with inflated egos who have no idea what a two way relationship is and have likely never heard the word "no" in their lives.

Oh, and I took all the 'expert' advice and redid my profile only to have my responses go from low to zero. Unless you enjoy having your heart stomped on I wouldn't waste much time on online dating: just go out in IRL and do what you want to do while trying to find places where women congregate. I was developing a very nasty attitude towards women in general that most do not deserve.

I will share my experience, but before that, I will straight up say this: F*** online dating, just sign up with an account on meetup.com and sign up for groups that interests you. You are bound to meet more genuine people there since the purpose of that site is to go out and mingle and have a good time, not hook up with anyone. Which brings me to Plentyoffish and OKCupid.
Plentyoffish was not a complete waste of time, but it was close. In four years on that site, I got replies right away when I signed up and had talked to people right away. I found that plentyoffish was better back then than it is now. Back then you could legit. find some people to talk to and get to know. I went on a couple dates then, but nothing worked out. I was largely inactive for a while after on there until last year when I was in Ottawa for my second year at that point and was and worked my way into a decent financial position (I became goal oriented and less active in dating). I went on a few dates in a four month time period but I think the problem with these dates were that these girls were a little on the desperate side (the first one wasn't) I didn't often get replies and I took the so called expert advice and got no replies and got no messages. The messages I did get were "Hey" and "What's up" and got a no reply from me as a result of their laziness. If you read the profiles of the girls on there, you find that most women are very superficial. I became pissed off one day and just deleted my account. I don't regret deleting my account.
I signed up for OKCupid before deleting my account on plentyoffish and have found the same bulls**t there (messages, profiles, etc). I got one girl that messaged me that I thought I might be interested in, but decided after a couple messages back and forth "Forget this, I can't do this online dating anymore." I have not deleted from there, but I have not been on that site in a couple weeks I think.
Honestly, I think people use online dating for random hookups with attractive looking people when they break up with someone. Not only that, but the people on there that are lonely are too superficial to be happy in a relationship anyway.

I've been on dating sites for probably eight years on and off. I got married and divorced--met him on a dating site. I met my current boyfriend on a dating site as well. I live in a small town where it is hard to meet people, and unfortunately most of the guys on dating sites are just looking for a one time thing and not a serious relationship.

I haven't gotten a serious relationship out of it yet (I had a 2 month relationship earlier this year, and a 3 year relationship before that that wasn't strictly from a dating site but through an Internet forum), but I've had plenty of nice dates. I'm very fussy, so that's the main reason I haven't found anything meaningful. I don't go out that much so I find this the easiest way to meet people. Plus I like how I can filter for certain deal-breakers right from the start. It's a shame when I meet someone out and about then find out a bit later on that they smoke, or something like that.

I haven't really had issues with shallowness or people only wanting hookups. I mean, those people are definitely on the sites, but I must be pretty good at spotting and ignoring them because the people I end up on a date with are nearly always genuine, good people.

OkCupid is my preferred site, though I feel like I've seen everyone's profile who lives in my area so I'm just kind of waiting for new members. I go on Oasis Active for a laugh but don't expect to find many suitable dates there. I filter nearly everyone out. I get many more hits than on OkC though.

I'm female, btw.

Last edited by yellowtamarin on 27 Aug 2012, 10:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Took the words right out of my mouth,

I met my BF on OKcupid so I'm not going to knock it. It took a year and painstakingly reading every messenger's questions before considering. Most of the time messages I sent we're ignored. I would say it is much harder the younger you are. It's easy to filter out and find the red flags when you've heard things so many times before . Plus, I liked the tests.

I use OkCupid, Match, and eHarmony, and I have met women from all three. I also started using POF, but I haven't used it seriously. I would say eHarmony is the worst because you pay $300+/yr and the site chooses your matches for you based on a questionnaire you fill out when you sign up. You would think based on that, you'd have an easier time hooking up right? Not so.

I've been using OkCupid the longest. I would say it's definitely the most economical. You don't have to pay a dime to use the most essential functions of the site. If you do want a premium account (A-List), which allows you to see the site ad-free, browse anonymously, and increase your search criteria, that's only $10/month and you don't have to pay it in a lump sum. My only problem with OkCupid is I have to filter through a lot of trashy women to find decent women.

Match seems to have the most attractive, outgoing and positive women. I used to have trouble getting responses on Match until I got more experienced with the tricks and whatnot. The last three get-togethers I went on were from Match.

The common misconception a lot of people have about online dating is that it's easier than real dating because you don't have to fear rejection as much and you can think about what you say a long time before you say it, plus you're talking to people who are single. The truth is it's not easier or harder than real-life dating; it's just different. It can be difficult especially for men however because you don't need to create a recon profile like I have to see that women, especially very attractive women, get bombarded with messages every day. Therefore, your message has to really stand out and be unique (and interesting) for her to even respond back.

I've gotten roughly around 40-50 phone numbers this year from women online, but I have only gone out with 17 of them (none of which went anywhere). Some women stopped replying and left me on a huge cliffhanger while others agreed to meet up only to flake out later.

Overall, I think online dating is great, but if you're really wanting to find the right woman, it should only be an option and not an absolute solution.

I'm on OkCupid, haven't had much luck though

Met my fiancee on OKCupid. She is very interested in learning about me and how my AS effects me and the way I think. Feel very lucky.

Only on OKCupid and Aspie Affectiions (which is HORRIBLE).

I couldn't care less about it to be honest. I'd rather get out more and have a life then get a GF.

I agree with this post in it's entirety.

I tried the free sites okcupid and pof and they both sucked. To my surprise a lot of girls sent me messages first(initiated). A lot of the times the girls are just way too ugly to even to look at though and the rare good looking girls stop replying eventually or say weird s**t and I think they have fake profiles. I also got message from a transwoman and my biggest fear in life is dating a transwoman unknowingly.

On okcupid never met anyone, however I had 3 first dates on pof. One of the girls was a fat girl but she had a decent face so i said fuark it. The next girl was fat in her pics but in real life was actually kind of cute. The last girl i met was very attractive. Iw as shocked.

I took all of my dates for coffee at Starbucks and I paid(even though i don't agree in men paying for dates..i want a gf already lol)

All of my dates lasted for 2 hrs plus, and when i was with the first fat girl, and dunkin donuts was closing she asked if anywhere else was open, and since nowhere was we sat in her car for 30 mins.

Anyway, none responded to my texts for a second date. I actually pestered the first fat girl to tell me why she was ignoring my requests for a second date and she got a friend to threaten to kill me. This girl responded to my first text after a date saying we should hang out, but then I sent a followup text three days later inviting her out and she ignored me. As my first ever date that bothered me. Im trying to grow as a datable person and find out what women don't lie about me and when a girlj just ignores your attempts at a second date especially a fat girl and doesnt tell you why it really makes it hard for you to think any girl would like you.
Atleast got to kiss two of the better looking ones on the cheek....most intimate female contact I've ever gotten

the abpve girls are the MOST successful encounters I've had on these sites which pretty uch sums up how I feel since i'vvv been a meber for yrs.

I really like going to online dating sites because I can put thought into what I'm going to say before I say them. I've had a lot of good experiences with online dating sites. I currently use Plenty of Fish and No Longer Lonely. I don't think that I would have a long distance relationship online though.

Online dating sucks, but I did get one serious relationship, one not-so-serious relationship and one one-night stand from it. 50% of the girls won't een respond and of the 50% that do respond, 75% look nothing like their picture. Sadly, many introverts are at te mercy of these sites.