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OlivG
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24 Aug 2012, 8:45 am

How are the Aspie women different from the Neurotypicals, as in what they generally respond to in flirting/attraction?

We have all heard things about the "bad guy"-ness, as in how teasing and generally not being a "nice guy" usually works well on the NT women in order to, at least partially on a subconscious basis, get their attraction, regardless of what they claim.

Are Aspie women different in this regard? I'd imagine them not to be drawn to loud types for obvious sensory reasons, but are their preferences generally wired differently?

I'm holding a view that AS is a neurotype rather than a bunch of retardations, and I think that the neanderthal autism theory is very interesting, and that even if it wasn't true, we might actually be socially a different "species" in some ways.



Vomelche
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24 Aug 2012, 9:27 am

I'd guess it would depend on their individual personality, but yeah they would respond different to the standard social cues.



Stalk
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24 Aug 2012, 10:41 am

X-Men FTW! :P



JanJan
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24 Aug 2012, 10:43 am

My aunt I'm sure is on the spectrum and she ended up marrying a loud mouthed football player with a gambling problem.
The people I end up being attracted to are usually loud and very social. Of course I get dumped in the end because I'm too quiet, not emotional enough, etc..
I've been on dates where I didn't even know they were dates until the third time we went out ( hence, I'm 8O clueless).

I've determined that if I ever try "dating" again, that I will make sure they are near or on the spectrum.
With regard to your future prospects, I would recommend just being direct. Don't flirt because she probably won't figure it out. Don't beat around the bush. Just say it.



Morningstar
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24 Aug 2012, 11:24 am

I think that, being on the spectrum, AS women would not like somebody who is a "bad boy" or jerk as much as NT women apparently do...? I think they would rather have somebody who is up-front and honest about who they really are as a person.

I just think it has to do with having a literal brain and seeing through lies. That's almost a universal Asperger's thing, I think.

I agree that they would probably not get hints or flirting (I know I never did until it was too late and I'd hurt a bunch of guys' feelings by "sending conflicting messages" lol sorry for wanting to be your friend). So I think the best way to approach an AS woman would be to start chatting with her about some of her interests, and then when you're comfortable with one another, ask her if she'd be open to having a date with you. Of course, make sure she isn't already seeing someone before you ask this.

As for what type of person they'd like (loud vs. calm) I think it just depends on the person. Not all people with Asperger's have the same traits anyway, so not everyone is sensitive to noise or crowds.