Dating someone in a video game?
I am dating...or at least as close to it as i can come.
I have this girls phone number and we text back and fourth.
But when i asked for her address to send her a letter and some cd's she didn't want to give it.
She was reluctant to give her phone number at first.
Anyways, i was a little angry that she didn't want to give me her address...because she was talking about how i should come to new york in the past.
(but then later said it was me who said i should come to new york though I did bring it up again it was her originally)
So i said...how can she expect me to fly to new york yet she wont even give me an address where she lives.
Anyways...i ended up apologizing for complicating things i guess...i'm just not sure.
I feel as if i am more into the relationship then the other person, as is often the case. Or vice versa...
But she seems to always say she is into me and what not....so a bit confusing...
I understand not wanting to give out personal information....but I would think knowing someone awhile would help ease the discomfort.
Am i out of line asking for an address?
That's a warning right there. Never push for a number if she's reluctant. Keep flirting first - not only are protecting her, but yourself from getting attached. Once you have any form of direct personal communication you will start creating bonds that are hard to break.
That's unfortunately the way the game is. They love to tease and twist your mind into thinking something's there when it really isn't...keep flirting and amping up tension until she starts bothering, pestering you. Then drop the ultimatum of either more personal contact or no contact. She'll then set you straight and hopefully onto round 2.
At this moment, yes. Right now she's having a bit of fun with no strings, so should you be having fun and avoiding building bonds. Keep flirting if she still replies, and then amp it up.
Hello
I would have taken the NY visit thing as simply a date or a visit as friends. Flirting on a game can be fantasy to most people that they likely take it far less seriously than you have. This sounds like a case of unrequited love, to rephrase what you put. If you do like her I would play the same games and see if she gets more keen. If she doesn't...not worth pursuing.
GENERAL RANT ABOUT VIRTUAL WORLD DATING
I'll go as far as to say this - as I mentioned earlier online dating in MMO's, virtual worlds and games is perceived by many as merely fantasy and role play. Many not only forget the real elements involved (such as the fact they are essentially toying with real people behind other computers and dehumanizing them into mere "characters" in a game) but they also think that these fantasies will not cross over into real life when this is not true.
People like to think it's okay to two time or cheat on a real partner "because it's a game" and they like to think their conquests on the computer will stay on the computer. Then you also get the "desperados" and "hussies" that like to boost their esteem by flirting with as many people as they can online in a game because they simply could never do it in real life due to being uncharismatic, hideous or someone going nowhere with their life. In short, people can be real jerks when they see that shiny get out of jail free card we know as "anonymity" or that one size fits all excuse in virtual worlds "it's only a game".
BACK TO YOU
Take into consideration some of the above, Lego. Maybe she did like you at first and got bored, maybe she only wants to be friends, maybe she never liked you that way and was only flirting, maybe she didn't think the fantasy would cross over to reality and she forgot you are a human being behind that game character with feelings / emotional responses to things. Consider why she would be reluctant to do things like live up to her word, or give out personal information to an online stranger like you (because essentially you are 2 strangers on the Internet joining through a game or world). Consider also why you felt it necessary to keep in pursuit despite some of the above, and what you might do differently in future or what you can change now.
I hope everything works out for you in the end and I hope whatever happens your experience of the game or world you are a part of is not ruined or spoiled. Remember when you take other people out of the equation it is in that circumstance a game, and games are supposed to be fun. I'm speaking as someone who has been in online gaming communities for 16 years, and virtual worlds/mmos for 10 years.
OP, one last thing...
*Are you gifting this person in-game?
*Has this gifting for the most part siezed and now you feel entitled to further your friendship into something more....intimate?
*How sure are you this person was is actually a girl?
*How sure are you if they are girl they aren't spoken for in real life?
*Have they recently made new male friends?
*Are you gifting this person in-game?
*Has this gifting for the most part siezed and now you feel entitled to further your friendship into something more....intimate?
*How sure are you this person was is actually a girl?
*How sure are you if they are girl they aren't spoken for in real life?
*Have they recently made new male friends?
Well...that was my biggest worry that since it was an online game this person could potentially not even be female. I do not give her gifts, we just train together and flirt the whole time...talk about life or just joke around. I am 99% sure this person is a girl, she's sent me several photos of herself although i've been trying to get her to take a picture at work just to have the 100%. She had a boyfriend while we were training in the beginning and then she broke up with him...thats when things changed and we tended to flirt more. I dont know her situation, i have not asked just assumed it is still the same. She contacted me about coming back to the game, she is pretty much the only reason i came back (you have to pay to play on this particular server) she said she missed me etc...I have her phone number and we text also i have since stopped texting her (only been 2 days) though i've never called her. I hadn't talked to her for nearly a year and had deleted her from my phone since i no longer played the game anymore.
I will just see where it goes and know that online things are never certain until their certain i guess.
Just don't worry about it too much. Have fun, play along, all that stuff. I'd say not push for the address, just be like "Oh, I understand, if you want I could send it to a post office box or your friend." That'd be a better way to phrase it. Afterall, you could be Jeffrey Dahmer for all she knows. Online friends come and go, really. I used to have alot more, and they just disappeared over the years. I used to be a lot more outgoing on forums, too. Never played any online games.
I'd say if she genuinely does like you, she'll stick around for a few years or more. Years is the measurable time in online friends. Like one of my online friends, I knew him since 2005 or so, and just this year I got the chance to meet him. And we've talked, with some absences for a few months on both our ends, since 2005. This is just a platonic friendship. One of my other friends met his wife online through an anime forum or a game, he used to play WoW with her. Thing is, he knew her since he was like in 7th or 8th grade or so, and finally met her when he was 19 or 20 and she moved nearer to him for school. Another person I talked to met her boyfriend online, but they played games for about 2-3 years too before she moved.
So that's my advice for all online friendships, hell, friendships in general, is just see who's left at the end, who still talks to you over the years, yes, years. I'm 21 and it's hard seeing things as years, but that's apparently what happens when you grow up.
So with this girl, just give it time and don't push things too much. Online friendships need a lot of time.
I'd say if she genuinely does like you, she'll stick around for a few years or more. Years is the measurable time in online friends. Like one of my online friends, I knew him since 2005 or so, and just this year I got the chance to meet him. And we've talked, with some absences for a few months on both our ends, since 2005. This is just a platonic friendship. One of my other friends met his wife online through an anime forum or a game, he used to play WoW with her. Thing is, he knew her since he was like in 7th or 8th grade or so, and finally met her when he was 19 or 20 and she moved nearer to him for school. Another person I talked to met her boyfriend online, but they played games for about 2-3 years too before she moved.
So that's my advice for all online friendships, hell, friendships in general, is just see who's left at the end, who still talks to you over the years, yes, years. I'm 21 and it's hard seeing things as years, but that's apparently what happens when you grow up.
So with this girl, just give it time and don't push things too much. Online friendships need a lot of time.
probably good advice thank you...
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