Thoughts on compliments and affection?

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I've been with my aspie guy for just over a year. We're both in our late twenties, and figured out that he has AS halfway through the relationship. I won't bore you with his many wonderful qualities; suffice it to say that I'm crazy about him and have absolutely no intention of leaving him. One thing, though, scares me about the long haul, so I'm here looking for a little hope/reality cocktail, regarding:

He is petrified of expressing affection or admiration, physically or verbally.

It was there in the beginning, of course. He'd be right inside the door waiting for me when I came over, happy to see me, ready to touch me. Of course I know that never lasts forever! But he's just empty of all of that now, all the time. I feel like I'm shining all my light into a black hole. He will tolerate me touching him or laying across him on the couch, but he hasn't touched me in three months---never initiates hugs, kisses etc. He's made four vague comments about my appearance in one year. He never says anything positive about me, nor does he express any adoration in other ways: gifts or dates. He is loyal, dependable, fun to talk to, and content to spend his time with me . . . but without the affection, I feel so invisible. I have told him how very much I would appreciate these things---and I show affection for him within his comfort zone---but no progress. We have discussed this time after time, so I know it's a matter of ability for him (he likens expressing affection to trying to lift a car), not a lack of love.

What I want to know is: what's it feel like on the AS side of this problem? Do you have difficulty expressing affection? Are you ever just enamored with your partner but can't get it out? Does anyone have any success stories of overcoming this in a relationship? I understand that this will always be a challenge, but I am looking for hope that he will at least become more comfortable expressing his feelings for me occasionally, after some painstaking practice. How can I make the hard part more comfortable for him? What has worked for you?

Thank you.

From what I can gather, it seems that he may be afraid of something happening, which may be the reason behind some of his uncomfortable moments. Another thing to consider is whether or not this guy has been in a previous relationship; some people will show affection for a little while in the relationship and then it goes away after all of the fun has been sucked out of it like a capri-sun pouch, especially in some long-term relationships.

Can't really say what advice i'd give you for the guy, i've only been with one woman in the past.

What sort of things do you bring up when you discuss his issues? Perhaps some things are being overlooked that could catch his attention and get him to slowly move out of his bubble...

He was a "late" bloomer (first kiss at 18 ), but has definitely had his fair share of relationships since, and he needs two hands to count the times he's been cheated on. So yeah, there are the trust issues. He's very attractive (looks a lot like Keanu Reeves, very tall, kind of goofy personality), so my guess is that he had no problems getting into those past relationships. The wrong kinds of girls would approach him because he was hot and initially physical, and then, once they didn't have their emotional/ego needs satisfied, they went out and slept around to get the attention they wanted. Of course I wouldn't dream of doing that, and have told him so, but I also understand that reassurance can't just make trust issues disappear---only time and commitment can. On the other hand, he's mentioned that he's always felt very closed up when it comes to telling women how he feels about them. So while the cheating may have exacerbated the issue, I don't know that it's the root. But I do think maybe he hesitates to express admiration out of fear that he'll get it wrong, or fear of being vulnerable.

As for what I've told him . . . I've pretty much told him everything from the original post. I don't yell at him, and I always tell him that I don't want him to change----just the opposite. I just want these emotional needs fulfilled by him, because I like him the way he is. I don't want it from anyone else. I also try to explain that expressing my affection over and over again without reciprocation makes me feel very vulnerable, like I'll feel very stupid and duped if the relationship ends with me having handed over my heart so earnestly to someone who had no use for it. Oh, and I guess I should add that I've told him that I don't expect it to always be like it was in the beginning, but that making me feel wanted and special is not something he can just check of his list---it's something he has to do for as long as we're together, on a regular basis. And all of this I've told him many times, as gently and openly as possible.

I think it's down to feeling awkward and unsure about saying and showing his feelings... it's possible he's thinking that before it was easier because it was the initial starting phase...
This coming from a "late" bloomer but not in anywhere near the amount of relationships your boyfriend has been in. Plus I don't have trust issues even though I may have been cheated on.
So it's hard to put myself in his position.