Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

atdevel
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 194

07 Sep 2012, 11:40 am

I'm 19. Never been hugged. What can I do about it?



wtfid2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,712
Location: usa

07 Sep 2012, 11:56 am

atdevel wrote:
I'm 19. Never been hugged. What can I do about it?
cry loneliness :( depressing =\


_________________
AQ 25

Your Aspie score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 111 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits


Prof_Pretorius
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Aug 2006
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,520
Location: Hiding in the attic of the Arkham Library

07 Sep 2012, 11:57 am

Do you mean by your parents?
Or by a member of the opposite sex?
Or by anyone ever?


_________________
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go. ~Theodore Roethke


wtfid2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Aug 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,712
Location: usa

07 Sep 2012, 12:03 pm

Prof_Pretorius wrote:
Do you mean by your parents?
Or by a member of the opposite sex?
Or by anyone ever?
lol im sure he means girls.


_________________
AQ 25

Your Aspie score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 111 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits


Magnus_Rex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,704
Location: Home

07 Sep 2012, 12:05 pm

I do not like hugs. Very awkward.


_________________
DISCLAIMER: It should be noted that, while I strongly suspect I have Asperger's syndrome, I am not diagnosed. Nevertheless, my score on RAADS-R is 186, which makes me a pretty RAAD guy.

Sorry for this terrible joke, by the way.


atdevel
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 194

07 Sep 2012, 12:08 pm

Prof_Pretorius wrote:
Do you mean by your parents?
Or by a member of the opposite sex?
Or by anyone ever?


Well only my mom. I guess that's better than nothing. Research shows, however, that constant touching is important for emotional health. Touching is seen as dirty outside of loved ones here in America, but at the same time, it's okay to touch pets for some reason...



GiantHockeyFan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,293

07 Sep 2012, 12:22 pm

atdevel wrote:
Well only my mom. I guess that's better than nothing. Research shows, however, that constant touching is important for emotional health. Touching is seen as dirty outside of loved ones here in America, but at the same time, it's okay to touch pets for some reason...


I've only ever been hugged a few times by a girl and the last one actually asked permission first so she must understand me quite well despite being significantly younger than me. Every time I've initiated the other person clearly wasn't comfortable so I don't bother anymore. On the other hand, children give me hugs literally all the time, even ones that don't know me. People have told me that a man getting hugs from children is inappropriate but for women it's completely fine even though I disliked being touched and I'm always the (usually involuntary) recipient. For crying out loud what I am supposed to do, push them away? Humans are sillier by the minute!

Of course, Dogs and Cats usually jump all over me the first opportunity they get to. I wonder if they all don't pick up on my genuine nature the way adults apparently can't? I personally only like hugs from someone I love and trust and I can't think of too many people that can meet that criteria at the present time.



MisterSpock
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 549
Location: Manchester, UK

07 Sep 2012, 2:37 pm

I won't say I don't like hugs. I just don't get a lot of practice, though I have heard I give the best hugs. I am very aware of people touching me, and so unless I want to share emotions, I don't want to hug. It may sound mean, but I tolerate it from relatives. I have enjoyed a few hugs with girls in the past. I think I would like to be hugged more.

The advice I would give is that when girls are all doing goodbye hugs, join in. Start of when it's small groups, and do it sporadically, but persist. Eventually, they won't even think of including you, it will be natural. Simply open your arms when saying hello or goodbye to them and they will assume you want a hug. Most of the time they will give you one. Remember, 3 seconds (standard seconds, not Mississippi seconds) is the correct length for a social hug. You should be letting go at the 3, or when you feel them pull away. Usually greetings hugs are shorter - basically just a 1 second embrace.