OkCupid: Success isn't in the place, it's in the person

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I did a small social experiment and messaged American girls to see how many responses I could get in a day, very selective high maintenance girls in the New York and California area and I received plenty of replies so it just goes that the success is in the person, not the place. Some of you that blaming your location for lack of success.

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Success comes from within, it's not about location so there goes that excuse for you guys who complain about location. You guys that complain need to stop criticizing something for nothing and make an effort to change your situation.

Start believing in yourself, If you don't respect yourself, you can't expect the world to.

Just because they reply doesn't mean they are serious about dating you. Most just string you along for an ego boost for a few replies then stop after that.

Or how about girls messaging you first? I will have met three in this week alone and one ended up going very successful.

You must be doing something wrong with closing...

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Well it's all about looks and confidence. I've got the confidence but not the looks to match it, so I probably come off as arrogant.

For someone who demands that 'people don't criticize something for nothing' you sure do a lot of criticizing yourself which much of the time appears to be based on baseless assumptions you make about people on this website.

And bragging about getting responses from girls on a free dating website isn't exactly enduring behavior. I think if most the women he's posted in this topic saw what he was doing it would be an instant turn off.

Yeah probably, Id be kind of annoyed if someone pretended to be interested in talking to me, and I found out it was just so they could use it to prove a point.

I've sent quite a few messages on both fetlife and okcupid. no replies. It kind of sucks, but I'm too apathetic to really care very much.

Any examples of this? Direct quotes?

You assume the criticisms are about 'nothing' and assume people aren't trying to change their situation....with no basis whatsoever and then demand they stop doing so and respect themselves. In case you don't remember posting that though:



And your holier than thou attitude and baseless assumptions are supposed to encourage people to 'believe in themselves' how?

Sorry, Wolf, I think you have the right message for sure but are displaying the wrong attitude for that message.

Instead of giving advice (which you're normally balanced with) you showed us an insight into your self absorbed and narcissistic nature. This thread wasn't in the least bit helpful, all it did was imply you think you're a great person that can score with a lot of girls because you are ... so great (and will probably argue they do, too, as a retort).

I might have accepted something like this from Boo as he was on a bit of a downer and went through a learning experience. However, you know better than this yet do it anyway.

I said a direct quote, who have I criticized directly? If you want to have a negative attitude about it, that's your choice but having a negative attitude isn't going to help you.

I haven't sat on here and been negative when it wasn't necessary, I have given tons of positive advice.

Find one quote, one direct quote where I have unnecessarily criticized someone.

Last edited by Wolfheart on 31 Aug 2012, 4:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I hear Boo in every thread, am I that famous lately?

At the end of the day, you can either view something with a positive attitude or a negative attitude and if you choose to view it with an negative attitude, you won't gain anything from it.

The point of the thread is that success comes from within, you can either be a victim of your circumstances or someone that is willing to put up a fight. There are people in far worse situations than just having Asperger's and we should be grateful that we have the opportunity to fit in, be physically healthy and live fulfilling lives instead of creating this us and them or victim mentality.

An elitist and arrogant attitude in general is negative, which is what you've been displaying.

Ok maybe from your perspective you don't have it very bad and so you should be grateful that 'you' have the oppurtunity to fit in, be physically healthy and live a fulfilling life. Don't assume everyone here is in the same position you are, you are one individual and hardly represent everyone with AS.

I myself have never had any opportunity to fit in...ever since I was a young child I got ostracized and bullied, no matter how much I tried 'fitting in' that sort of thing can really mess someone up. But I suppose I ought to just view it positively? You might have great physical health and the ability to keep it up but some here struggle with that and its not fair to assume that's their choice.

Once again your holier than thou attitude is likely to do more damage than good, so maybe you should consider your life and experiences do not reflect the life and experience of everyone with aspergers.