How do you present yourself when dating?

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equestriatola
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09 Sep 2012, 9:34 pm

I have never given myself too much a chance to present mahself when dating (only gone out on ONE date, and I'm 25!), so let's ask this Q to y'all here.
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I would present myself as a very enthusiastic person, without going over the top. I'd also tell them about how much esoteric info I know....... and I think that's it.



bruinsy33
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09 Sep 2012, 11:52 pm

Conventional dating [getting to know a stranger ] is not something that I am capable of.I don't make good first impressions ,any women who has been interested in me had to get to know me [mostly through work] before they were able to see beyond my social awkwardness and weirdness.



yellowtamarin
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10 Sep 2012, 3:42 am

Just as myself...the "myself" I am around people I don't know well (but want to).

I want them to like me, so why would I present myself as something else?



Surfman
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10 Sep 2012, 4:48 am

I oil myself up and tie a red ribbon around my waist



yellowtamarin
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10 Sep 2012, 6:55 am

Surfman wrote:
I oil myself up and tie a red ribbon around my waist

Hmm, different kind of 'presenting' ;)



GiantHockeyFan
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10 Sep 2012, 7:04 am

I've only went on one date and it's simply not the way I'm going to meet someone. I spend plenty of time looking clean but still myself but I'll probably never be able to get over the fact like most Aspies, I don't make a great first impression. I got from my last date that I was a very nice person but didn't excite her in any way. It's just too awkward for an Aspie, especially when the woman expects you to take charge right away. I may have very dominant and Alpha characteristics but unfortunately it takes me a while to showcase them.

On a more positive note, I have been told about 20 times by married women that when I wear my business suit (very rarely) I look absolutely stunning to the point women would be all over me. You wouldn't believe the compliments I get from both men and women when I dress up how I look like a completely different person. Sadly, I don't really have any place appropriate to wear it to. That might be the icebreaker I need!



bruinsy33
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11 Sep 2012, 12:14 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
I've only went on one date and it's simply not the way I'm going to meet someone. I spend plenty of time looking clean but still myself but I'll probably never be able to get over the fact like most Aspies, I don't make a great first impression. I got from my last date that I was a very nice person but didn't excite her in any way. It's just too awkward for an Aspie, especially when the woman expects you to take charge right away. I may have very dominant and Alpha characteristics but unfortunately it takes me a while to showcase them.

On a more positive note, I have been told about 20 times by married women that when I wear my business suit (very rarely) I look absolutely stunning to the point women would be all over me. You wouldn't believe the compliments I get from both men and women when I dress up how I look like a completely different person. Sadly, I don't really have any place appropriate to wear it to. That might be the icebreaker I need!
Perhaps you could find a happy medium.You don't have to wear a business suit but you could dress in a somewhat formal way.It might open some doors for you.



WontGiveUp
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11 Sep 2012, 9:13 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
I've only went on one date and it's simply not the way I'm going to meet someone. I spend plenty of time looking clean but still myself but I'll probably never be able to get over the fact like most Aspies, I don't make a great first impression. I got from my last date that I was a very nice person but didn't excite her in any way. It's just too awkward for an Aspie, especially when the woman expects you to take charge right away. I may have very dominant and Alpha characteristics but unfortunately it takes me a while to showcase them.

On a more positive note, I have been told about 20 times by married women that when I wear my business suit (very rarely) I look absolutely stunning to the point women would be all over me. You wouldn't believe the compliments I get from both men and women when I dress up how I look like a completely different person. Sadly, I don't really have any place appropriate to wear it to. That might be the icebreaker I need!


I'm guessing it has nothing to do with the suit, but the fact that you FEEL confident when you wear a suit, so your are projecting confidence, which women find attractive. Remember the old adage - the clothes do not make a man. You need to figure out why you feel more confident in a suit and find a way to incorporate that confidence into your "everyday" life. Just my .02...........


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GiantHockeyFan
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11 Sep 2012, 10:34 am

WontGiveUp wrote:
I'm guessing it has nothing to do with the suit, but the fact that you FEEL confident when you wear a suit, so your are projecting confidence, which women find attractive. Remember the old adage - the clothes do not make a man. You need to figure out why you feel more confident in a suit and find a way to incorporate that confidence into your "everyday" life. Just my .02...........


Well, yes and no. I actually HATE dressing up and usually wear jeans and a t-shirt or sweatshirt I dislike anything near my neck: I even refuse to wear a neckguard at hockey despite almost getting my throat sliced open by a skate blade! but perhaps though I felt more confident because of the compliments and that fed into my inflated ego. Until I got all those compliments I was almost embarrassed to me seen in public with it because I stood out so much. If it was all about confidence than I should be getting lots of attention when I wear my Under Armour shirt (like I have now) as it really highlights my "masculine" features and relatively fit body and at the same time is oh so comfortable so I feel great and confident when wearing it. That got a bit of attention but nearly as much as the suit!

One day off at work I decided to go in with my suit on (had it on for a work related function) and that certain opened some eyes to say the least. It was like a whole side of me was now visible for the world to see.



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11 Sep 2012, 10:53 am

Image

I think I present myself very well. :)


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11 Sep 2012, 9:08 pm

As I just posted in another thread here; I never done the dating thing. I met my current & 2 previous girlfriends online. I think I would do well if I were to go out on a date with my current girlfriend but I think I would make a horrible impression if I were to go out on a date with someone who's like a stranger or acquaintance


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bruinsy33
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12 Sep 2012, 6:44 pm

nick007 wrote:
As I just posted in another thread here; I never done the dating thing. I met my current & 2 previous girlfriends online. I think I would do well if I were to go out on a date with my current girlfriend but I think I would make a horrible impression if I were to go out on a date with someone who's like a stranger or acquaintance
As others have mentioned perhaps you become overloaded and it is just too much for you to handle.Men with AS have to find ways that work for them.



Rorberyllium
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12 Sep 2012, 6:55 pm

I don't really change anything about my presentation. I don't really get gussied up or anything. Maybe I try to be a bit more polite than usual (though for some reason some people interpret this as me coming onto them or wanting to be immediately sexual?)

The way I see it, if I'm getting to know someone and it develops into anything deeper, my true self is going to come out eventually, so it's best they get to know that person right away. I'm not interested in playing "games" or deceiving people.



nick007
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12 Sep 2012, 7:11 pm

bruinsy33 wrote:
nick007 wrote:
As I just posted in another thread here; I never done the dating thing. I met my current & 2 previous girlfriends online. I think I would do well if I were to go out on a date with my current girlfriend but I think I would make a horrible impression if I were to go out on a date with someone who's like a stranger or acquaintance
As others have mentioned perhaps you become overloaded and it is just too much for you to handle.Men with AS have to find ways that work for them.

Yep. The way that worked for me was meeting women on forums & starting a relationship without doing the dating thing. My last & current girlfriend weren't/aren't into going out either skipping the typical dating thing worked well. They were/are both Aspies too btw. I tried getting dates before them but I never been lucky enough to because of the typical Aspie reasons & others


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bruinsy33
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12 Sep 2012, 10:15 pm

nick007 wrote:
bruinsy33 wrote:
nick007 wrote:
As I just posted in another thread here; I never done the dating thing. I met my current & 2 previous girlfriends online. I think I would do well if I were to go out on a date with my current girlfriend but I think I would make a horrible impression if I were to go out on a date with someone who's like a stranger or acquaintance
As others have mentioned perhaps you become overloaded and it is just too much for you to handle.Men with AS have to find ways that work for them.

Yep. The way that worked for me was meeting women on forums & starting a relationship without doing the dating thing. My last & current girlfriend weren't/aren't into going out either skipping the typical dating thing worked well. They were/are both Aspies too btw. I tried getting dates before them but I never been lucky enough to because of the typical Aspie reasons & others
Yes,it's kind of like doing things in reverse.Most people go out on that 1st date to see if they can develop some chemistry but perhaps with Aspies we have to have that chemistry before we proceed.Perhaps we will only pursue the relationship if many of the risk factors are not there.



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16 Sep 2012, 9:16 pm

I do not, I like to be true to myself.


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Last edited by aussiebloke on 17 Sep 2012, 6:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.