How to get him to do other stuff than the usual?

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My AS BF always has the same routine when we see each other. I'm actually curently avoiding him because that routine is boring my brains out and such a chore to me. All we do is stay in the living room while he stays on youtube and I am interested in what he talks about but it wears off after an hour or two, then I just pass time trying to nap, but he keeps wanting me to watch and listen. He already knows I am not interested, and I don't want to repeat myself because I don't want to hurt his feelings. Is there any way we can do something different while also keeping him content? I wouldn't want to do something with him if he doesn't enjoy it. :/

In my experience, in order to get myself to do something different or break out of a rut of behaviour, I need time to consider options, weigh the pros and cons, and make compromises so that the new activity can be something I sort of warm up to in my mind. If I'm just presented with something new out of the blue, there is a large chance my first reaction will just be "No." because the new thing seems uncomfortable.

So, with that said, maybe you could email or text him about some things you would like to do, and let him work with you on what would be something mutually acceptable. Then set a time and day that you are going to try the new activity and don't make him commit to a huge amount of time (for example, don't try to go bowling for three hours with five friends, on the first time. Try going bowling for like, one hour, with either just the two of you or like, one other friend. The key is start small, then you can build up to bigger adventures later).

This is what worked for me, when I realized I would say No to things that weren't even objectionable to me, but were thrown out for me to make immediate commitments. Let him ponder it, and put things in advance on the calendar.

Have you tried asking him to do different things?

There are two issues that should be addressed separately.

The first issue concerns the fact that he keeps insisting you watch or listen to something you have already expressed you are not interested. While on occasion one should oblige with such things, one should not feel one should always oblige. It is generally a disservice to those with AS to attempt to be polite, because whereas most people would understand you are merely attempting to be polite, the person with AS might not pick up on this. In fact your boyfriend is probably so consumed by his interest that you actually become fairly irrelevant and only serve as a vector through which he can repeat information he enjoys hearing.

For this reason, if I were you, I would simply be very firm in communicating that I am not interested. I would likely say something to the sort of: "I'm not interested, and if you ask me again I'm going to leave," and I would do exactly that should he ask again.

Concerning the second issue, I would simply tell him flat out that you don't want to "hang out" with him if it's just going to be at his house while he watches youtube. However it's likely going to have to be you who suggests new things to do and places to go.

Thanks for the tips. Yes, it does seem like he just need someone to listen to his thoughts so desperately. Well, I will try to agree to at least something once a week...we both enjoy cute things so maybe something including that.

does he have any other friends besides you? often, friends can listen to a person's interests, particularly if it gets to be overwhelming for the significant other.

Sadly, I don't think he has friends. He claims he does...but online ones that ignore himjust don't cut it. The only people he can basically talk to is his family and me or a stranger sometimes when he doesn't know them...but then the stranger never becomes his friend because he talks a lot of his interests and is pushy with trying to meet the other person until they ignore him. I try to tell him how to not do things to scare people away, but it seems he can't help it.

that's tough, because you have the dual responsibility of being his girlfriend and also his only real friend. are there any real-life groups or clubs related to his interests?

He needs to find some friends, or you should go on double dates and find an activities group for couples.

Failing that, this is a very boring routine indeed and you will have to give him a sliiiiight push hide the router wire, take an interest in something just for the sake of it and see if he takes interest back when you talk about it for ages. Consider this a test of both your resolves! Also consider it to be risky advice and to be ignored if you value being in a relationship over being in a happy relationship lol.