Have you ever been judged by your political beliefs?

Page 1 of 4 [ 55 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

MacDragard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Nov 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 542

25 Aug 2012, 10:42 am

I've met and dated a lot of women this year, and one thing that I believe has absolutely no place in relationships is politics. Sure, it's nice to have the same political beliefs so you can have fun knocking public officials that you don't like or don't agree with their policies, but chances are you're going to run into people who have different political beliefs than your own, and in that case it's best to keep silent about politics or when it comes up, IMMEDIATELY change the subject.

Some of the women I've gone out on get-togethers with or just met online were so adamant and vocal about their political beliefs that if you disagreed even in the slightest, you were done for. This is much more common with left-wing liberal women. Sure, there are some right-wing women who do the same, particularly those within religious circles who like to believe their sect of Christianity is superior to yours, but I find that women of the very liberal mindset who are into politics are very closed minded and assume a bunch of things about you if, say for example, you are anti-abortion or if you are against government-run health care (i.e. racist, nazi).



BookPerson
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Aug 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 146
Location: Under the Milky Way

25 Aug 2012, 10:54 am

I know exactly what you mean! (In fact, I was thinking about posting a thread like this.) I have been judged quite a bit, due to my libertarian/voluntaryist beliefs. I am not crazy at all, nor am I obnoxious, but so many people are utterly close-minded and will never hear an opposing voice.

There was a girl that I liked - never got the courage to ask her out - that was extremely liberal, as were her circle of friends. I liked her pretty quickly after I got to know her, but I already knew that her friends had basically slandered me before we never knew each other very well. I remember one time, when the subject came up, I mentioned how I'm very right wing and libertarian, and she said "I know, I've heard." My heart sank when I heard that, because I knew what her friends had told her.



Last edited by BookPerson on 25 Aug 2012, 8:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

25 Aug 2012, 11:16 am

I don't go round explicitly stating what my political beliefs are but I am very opinionated generally and this often gets me into trouble. I prefer to debate political type stuff on newspaper websites as there's less scope for fallouts but even then it can get nasty very quickly when you are taking an unpopular stance.



mds_02
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,077
Location: Los Angeles

25 Aug 2012, 2:26 pm

Incompatible political beliefs seem to me to be a perfectly reasonable reason for rejecting someone as a romantic partner.


_________________
If life's not beautiful without the pain, 
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again. 
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer. 
And it feels pretty soft to me. 

Modest Mouse - The View


meems
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Dec 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,869

25 Aug 2012, 5:05 pm

mds_02 wrote:
Incompatible political beliefs seem to me to be a perfectly reasonable reason for rejecting someone as a romantic partner.


Same.



nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

25 Aug 2012, 5:08 pm

I wouldn't tend to check what someone's political beliefs were but if they were too different from mine we'd invariably have a debate/argument at some point and I'd probably win which would annoy them lol



nomadder
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 3 Aug 2011
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 62

25 Aug 2012, 6:26 pm

There is a lot of research relating personality variables to political beliefs. I would never date a conservative ever again... I prefer the openness, flexibililty of thought, compassion and intellectual curiosity that is more evident among liberals. I've found conservatives fearful in general, resistant to change, rigid in thought, more traditional. Political beliefs are now one of my deal breakers, because compatibility in the long term depends mostly on personality characteristics. Political beliefs are a sign of these.


_________________
I think I'm a not so typical NT
Your score: 106/200 (Aspie), 110/200 (NT)
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
AQ 23/50, EQSQ-R EQ 34 SQ 93 (Extreme Systemizer)


nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

25 Aug 2012, 6:30 pm

nomadder wrote:
There is a lot of research relating personality variables to political beliefs. I would never date a conservative ever again... I prefer the openness, flexibililty of thought, compassion and intellectual curiosity that is more evident among liberals. I've found conservatives fearful in general, resistant to change, rigid in thought, more traditional. Political beliefs are now one of my deal breakers, because compatibility in the long term depends mostly on personality characteristics. Political beliefs are a sign of these.


To restrict your choice of partner to someone with similar/the same political values does not strike me as a sign of intellectual curiosity - quite the opposite in fact.



Last edited by nessa238 on 25 Aug 2012, 6:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

DogsWithoutHorses
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,146
Location: New York

25 Aug 2012, 6:35 pm

mds_02 wrote:
Incompatible political beliefs seem to me to be a perfectly reasonable reason for rejecting someone as a romantic partner.

for real
Fundamental values most certainly belong in relationships, the goal is to be with someone compatible not to just get anyone you can and convince them through any means possible to be with you.

I'm not down with conservative suitors because they want things that are anathemas. We can't just sweep "you don't believe I have the right to my own body" under the rug and forget about it.


_________________
If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don?t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth.


mds_02
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,077
Location: Los Angeles

25 Aug 2012, 6:47 pm

nessa238 wrote:
To restrict your choice or partner to someone with similar/the same political values does not strike me as a sign of intellectual curiosity - quite the opposite in fact.


Intellectual curiosity and romantic preferences have little if anything to do with each other.

Just because someone wants to understand alternate worldviews does not mean that they must also want to share their bed with the people who hold them.


_________________
If life's not beautiful without the pain, 
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again. 
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer. 
And it feels pretty soft to me. 

Modest Mouse - The View


Kjas
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,059
Location: the place I'm from doesn't exist anymore

25 Aug 2012, 7:10 pm

I have found people are very quick to judge someone beliefs without even bothering to understand them first. That's something that I refuse to do, but I have plenty of people do it to me - they seem to be more interested in judging something than bothering to undersatnd it first. Few people understand the ideas I propose in their entirety to begin with. :lol:

I think political beliefs do have some value in a relationship primarily for the reason that the political beliefs you have often reveal the way you think and feel about humanity in general, and they also usually manage to show very clearly where your most important values lie. If you manage to disagree on something as big as your most important values in relation to humanity, then I think you would possibly be more likely to have more disagreements that are fundamental in nature, which may not be a big problem in the beginning, but may become a big problem later on.

I have also found it useful as a way to gauge another persons maturity. Some people can keep political discussions open minded and truly consider other views and their implications and ask pertinent questions on that basis, and others can't. Some people can discuss these matters incredibly logically, even if they feel strongly about them, in a respectful and civilized manner without resorting to unsavoury tactics such as insults, name calling or invalidation and others cannot. I think those are important things to take note of, because they clearly demonstrate the amount of respect this person has for other people, and they also show their discussion and conflict resolution skills, which are two very important factors in any relationship.


_________________
Diagnostic Tools and Resources for Women with AS: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt211004.html


Last edited by Kjas on 25 Aug 2012, 7:18 pm, edited 2 times in total.

nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

25 Aug 2012, 7:16 pm

mds_02 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
To restrict your choice or partner to someone with similar/the same political values does not strike me as a sign of intellectual curiosity - quite the opposite in fact.


Intellectual curiosity and romantic preferences have little if anything to do with each other.

Just because someone wants to understand alternate worldviews does not mean that they must also want to share their bed with the people who hold them.


I don't understand what you mean.



nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

25 Aug 2012, 7:19 pm

Kjas wrote:
I have found people are very quick to judge someone beliefs without even bothering to understand them first.
That's something that I refuse to do, but I have plenty of people do it to me - they seem to be more interested in judging something than bothering to undersatnd it first. Few people understand the ideas I propose in their entirety to begin with. :lol:

I think political beliefs do have some value in a relationship primarily for the reason that the political beliefs you have often reveal the way you think and feel about humanity in general, and they also usually manage to show very clearly where your most important values lie. If you manage to disagree on something as big as your most important values in relation to humanity, then I think you would possibly be more likely to have more disagreements that are fundamental in nature, which may not be a big problem in the beginning, but may become a big problem later on.

I have also found it useful as a way to gauge another persons maturity. Some people can keep political discussions open minded and truly consider other views and their implications and ask pertinent questions on that basis, and others can't. Some people can discuss these matters incredibly logically, even if they feel strongly about them, in a respectful and civilized manner without resorting to unsavoury tactics such as insults, name calling or invalidation and others cannot. I think those are important things to take note of, because they clearly demonstrate the amount of respect this person has for other people, and they also show their discuss and conflict resolution skills, which are two very important factors in any relationship.


I agree up to a point. People vary a lot in terms of how passionate they can feel about certain issues and also in terms of how much control they have over their emotions so that the person who is always polite and respectful, in my opinion, isn't necessarily always the better person as it can mean they just have a brain with better executive functioning and/or that they don't feel particularly strongly about an issue.

Liberalism has done a lot of damage to UK society in my opinion.



mds_02
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,077
Location: Los Angeles

25 Aug 2012, 7:44 pm

nessa238 wrote:
mds_02 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
To restrict your choice or partner to someone with similar/the same political values does not strike me as a sign of intellectual curiosity - quite the opposite in fact.


Intellectual curiosity and romantic preferences have little if anything to do with each other.

Just because someone wants to understand alternate worldviews does not mean that they must also want to share their bed with the people who hold them.


I don't understand what you mean.


Short version; you're wrong. People can be intellectually curious, and still reject potential romantic partners for their political beliefs. Intellectual curiosity and romantic preferences are unrelated.


_________________
If life's not beautiful without the pain, 
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again. 
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer. 
And it feels pretty soft to me. 

Modest Mouse - The View


nessa238
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,908
Location: UK

25 Aug 2012, 7:48 pm

mds_02 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
mds_02 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
To restrict your choice or partner to someone with similar/the same political values does not strike me as a sign of intellectual curiosity - quite the opposite in fact.


Intellectual curiosity and romantic preferences have little if anything to do with each other.

Just because someone wants to understand alternate worldviews does not mean that they must also want to share their bed with the people who hold them.


I don't understand what you mean.


Short version; you're wrong. People can be intellectually curious, and still reject potential romantic partners for their political beliefs. Intellectual curiosity and romantic preferences are unrelated.


I'd tend to disagree. I get on better with people who are interested in finding out new information ie intellectually curious and I'm more likely to have a relationship with a person I get on well with. So it applies to me if not others as a person's intellect is very important to me in deciding whether I like them or not.



mds_02
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,077
Location: Los Angeles

25 Aug 2012, 7:54 pm

nessa238 wrote:
mds_02 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
mds_02 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
To restrict your choice or partner to someone with similar/the same political values does not strike me as a sign of intellectual curiosity - quite the opposite in fact.


Intellectual curiosity and romantic preferences have little if anything to do with each other.

Just because someone wants to understand alternate worldviews does not mean that they must also want to share their bed with the people who hold them.


I don't understand what you mean.


Short version; you're wrong. People can be intellectually curious, and still reject potential romantic partners for their political beliefs. Intellectual curiosity and romantic preferences are unrelated.


I'd tend to disagree. I get on better with people who are interested in finding out new information ie intellectually curious and I'm more likely to have a relationship with a person I get on well with. So it applies to me if not others as a person's intellect is very important to me in deciding whether I like them or not.


But we're not talking about a person's intellect. We're talking about their political beliefs. You said that rejecting a person based on their political beliefs signified a lack of intellectual curiosity. It does not.


_________________
If life's not beautiful without the pain, 
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again. 
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer. 
And it feels pretty soft to me. 

Modest Mouse - The View