For all AS men, a question(Or girls too!)!

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So MY bf and I have been for 3 going on to 4 years together. It wasn't an easy road, but I wonder these things. He told me he loved me on our first date and refers to me as his "wife" and I wonder if AS has something to do with it. I admit, that was freaky, but I was initially attracted to him physically and my goal was sex, until I fell in love with him. I read that As people are uncomfortable using the L word and where do you think the the spectrum he is at? Do you think this kind of reaction is common? He is just weird socially but when I tell him how to act as a BF he follows but forgets about it like a week later so I have to remind him.

We are generally very devoted people. As an aside, I refer to everyone's partner as husband or wife, regardless of marital status. While I am married, I don't think the legal status is as important now as it used to be in terms of being in a committed relationship.

Ramble over.

saying you love someone on the first date is definitely socially inappropriate, perhaps somewhat desperate, perhaps showing that the person has no concept of what love means.

Yes, sorry, I didn't actually answer the question completely.

It is socially inappropriate, and comes across as desperate, like Cathylynn said.

That said (once again in my personal experience) I know straight away if I like someone, so this may explain his behaviour. If I don't like someone, I excise them from my life as soon as possible.

As for forgetting how to behave in social situations, it took many years of practice and constant reminders from partners for me to learn the right way to behave. I still have compulsions to say exactly what's on my mind, but I've learnt to control that to a large extent.

Yes, it was strange for me and back then I didn't know he had AS.

I almost scared off the woman who would later become my wife (then leave... that's another story) after professing my love while snuggled up in bed... it was around the 3-4month mark. Love just scared her so badly...

I have never told anyone I loved them on the first date due for two reasons.
1. I simply don't feel it yet. and I know that if I feel something, it is likely infatuation (this can blind me more than love can)
2. It will make the other person walk away and, at worst, have me committed.

There are many aspies that would love to be in a committed relationship, but are scared to actually say the word "love" because it has a tendency to blow up in our faces...

Some say it quick because it's their feeling...
I don't think that it's possible to love on a first date/meeting... though maybe it is possible...
Some are not able to love because as ToadOfSteel said, it blows up in our faces. (Meaning showing that vulnerable side and potentially scaring them off.
Some go for the intensity of how they feel about a person... I don't personally think it's being desperate but... maybe it was too early.

That's exactly it. I've only had one real world gf but I was not attracted to her. We became bf/gf out of my sheer desperation. If I was attracted to her, I'd be too mortified to use the word 'love' or ask for sex because of the fear of rejection. It's something that I would not be able to cope with. Yes, I do want a committed relationship, but any girl that I like and try to talk to (on dating sites) just give me the cold shoulder and it gets frustrating. I've resorted to letting the girls come up to me, but that's a worse idea.

It was weird, because I believe I also became an object of his obsession, it was obvious. For one, I opened his notebook and I was shocked to see my name written in many different ways, then he would have multiple photos of me on his facebook and talk about me to other people. I also found other sites where he posted my photos without my permission as well, but I didn't get mad because I tried to understand him. I think he just used the word because he just really liked me and that was it. Though, I was creeped out, I looked past that since he was a nice person.

How long did that relationship last and what specifically made you not attracted?

About a month and after 2 dates. She was just too half-hearted and was overweight (probably around 250 lbs)

Well for starters, you can't expect an AS individual to adhere to societal norms. The declaration of "love" on the first date was probably genuine in his eyes. You being the object of his obsession only confirms his attachment to you. The act of you attempting to steer his behavior might not work so well but maybe it will......who knows?

In reference to the statement that AS people are "afraid" to use the L word, that is not correct. It's hard to say where on the spectrum he might fall as every individual person is so very different.

This is normal for Aspies in general and it will take a long time and patience to help them reach a point where certain aspects of being a bf or gf and words / actions expected of them become 2nd nature rather than tips forgotten the next day. Keep trying with him but do not pressure him to change. Do not feel obliged to have to accept some of this quirky behaviour as a permanent norm in your relationship simply because they are an Aspie, either. You've been together a long while now, longer than a lot of Aspie relationships last on this site so take that as a good sign and that there's a good chance what you've been trying to help him with will eventually stick!

I use the word to love to often, probably tell my wife ten times a day I love her. The problem is that I don't love her anymore. It causes me great anxiety. I think she had Boarderline personality disorder