NT friendship with aspie wanted

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There is a guy in my neighborhood that I have seen over the past several months walking his dog. I also have a dog similar to his. We have passed each other and said hello and then one day I actually introduced myself to him. We talked for a few minutes and went on our way. I thought he was really sweet and kind. I asked him to take a walk with me and he said that he couldn't because he was getting back with his girlfriend. I just wanted to be a friend to him even though I think he is really nice looking. After that, I thought I should leave him alone so I did. Then, I noticed that he kept walking past my house and staring at me while I was outside. I would wave but he didn't wave back. I was confused by his actions. Then, a few weeks later, I was walking my dog and he was walking his...but when he saw me, he turned the other way! I saw him a few days later on his bike and he was coming towards me but when he saw me, he turned and went the opposite way. Can someone please help me out with this situation? I texted him the other day to ask how he was doing and he has not responded. I want to be his friend but don't want to overwhelm him. Should I contact him again? I have not seen any cars or people over his house(he lives very close to me) and am thinking that maybe there is no girlfriend or it didn't work out. I really feel a connection with this person and am not sure why....this has never happened to me before.

[Moved from General Autism Discussion to Love and Dating]

Are you certain he has AS? There are plenty of things that can make a person act this way and not all of them are as benign as AS.

I was told he has AS, but he never told me that he did.

It would appear he thought of your initial contact as a come-on. Your further actions seem to have confirmed this. The only way to clear this up if you really want to be friends with this person is to confront them (I hate that word, but cannot think of a suitable replacement) and explain your motives.

That I believe is the only solution.

Also, maybe they just want to be left alone. If this is the case, I would just accept it and move on

Yes, you are correct...and that is what I did. I told him that I was just interested in being friends and that I did not have ulterior motives--but that is when he started walking past my house continuously and staring at me--it was AFTER he said he was trying to get back together with his girlfriend. That is what confused me. If he was not AS, I may handle it differently--I don't want to upset him. Then, it took the opposite turn when he started deliberately avoiding me--I'm just kinda confused.

thanks for responding.

I would forget it in that case. No use in crying over spilled milk. You tried. That is what counts

Chances are he may think you are coming on to him and he is being loyal to the girl he loves.I have done the same thing whenever I have girlfriend we aspies aren't so often used to members of the opposite gender approaching us in an extreamly friendly manner so initially we assume its flirting. At least for me anyway I made a girl cry because of this and I did not understand why now I feel like I was a jerk but at that time I had a girlfriend and was being faithful.

Makes sense what you say --if he hadn't "stalked" me after he told me about wanting to get back together with his girlfriend.
Thank you for the reply.

,..so isn't it possible for an aspie man to have a female friend and a girlfriend?

It doesn'tsound like stalking to me actually. Since he didn't wave back when he looked at you meant he wasn't stalking. Maybe he was just looking in your direction or maybe he was looking at you, but just was looking at that was it. I sometimes look at people for no reason.

Lets just say that he was suddenly all around me after he told me he couldn't be friends--his actions were exactly the opposite of what I expected. I don't want to throw a potential friendship away especially since I think this guy is special. I just want to handle this the proper way.

Maybe he thought he was rude to say that(couldn't be friends) and tried to fix it ...but gave upand is now avoiding?

Have you tried asking him again?

He could have terrible anxiety that developed pertaining to you after he gave you a little thought, and he avoids you rather than deal with or reveal the anxiety. Or it could be something totally else. aspies aren't mind readers of fellow aspies any better than NTs are mind readers of other NTs. tell him his behavior is confusing you and you don't know how to interpret it, and ask him why he is avoiding you.

Thanks for all the insight. Since I am an nt and he an aspie--would it be more comfortable to him if I either text him or çall him? I dont want to make him more anxious by showing up at his door! And since he didn't answer my last text when I wrote that I was wondering how he was doing--i am concerned he might be annoyed if I text him again.