Love Triangles

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I seem to fall in these often. Whenever there is a girl that I happen to have a crush on a few months later she ends up finding a boyfriend right when I get to like her. Does anyone else know what could be the problem with this? And why does this seem to happen every time when I try to get into a relationship?

The girl I dated longer than any other girl hated motorcycles. One Saturday I went to a motorcycle race and by the time I was back that night, she had found someone else who, coincidentally, didn't like motorcycles.

Hello. I can only speak from my own experience. Love triangles are not "usual" for me. They are in fact unusual. It is my tendency to focus on one person exclusively and when I'm very much drawn to them, intensely. On the odd occasion when I've found that a love triangle is happening around me, it is because one has been created "around" me by someone else who is emotionally strategic and I'm genuinely surprised by this...I'm a funny combination of sophistication and innocence, which can really throw other people off It can (and has) made me vulnerable in my life and these "triangulate times" have been distressing..VERY distressing..to me. I'm not sure I'm reading what you've written correctly .."falling into" a triangle means that you are getting involved within the triangle and I really am not sure this is the message you wish to convey.

I would love to say "I felt very complimented" or "that it seemed great being the center of attention" when someone attempted to pull me into the middle of a triangle but in all honestly, it was like being in some sort of horror movie. What is worse, the emotionally strategists who thought it was so cool to get me involved in their "hip" lifestyle either did not know or did not care the sort of devastation they were causing in me. These people would not hear the word "NO" and would not take my distress seriously. I have high Empathy and perhaps this is the reason I find this "scene" not fun and not a compliment. I am not typically an insecure personality and don't require a lot of attention form many different people. You don't don't seem like an insecure personality, either, so all I can say is: I guess it takes all kind to make a world! : )

Please try to steer clear of the word 'why"..it's just too vast. Focus on "the problem" by asking questions like "WHAT is going on WHEN I am beginning to get into a relationship?" You eliminate the impossible "Why", eradicate the absolute "Every" and blast the uncertainty of "when I try" into another galaxy. Restructure the sentence in your head: "What is going on when I begin getting into a relationship?"

My life would undoubtedly have been much simpler had I been willing to participate in 'triangles' and to be very honest with you, I am not entirely certain whether I am more Hetero than Homosexual. I've been kind of non-sexual for a number of years because I went from a place in myself where I really LIKED men as people and was physically attracted to them to a place in myself where I DISLIKED men and was physically repelled by men and still couldn't quite get free of men. Thus, a triangle would definitely NOT work...there'd be a disappointed and potentially very enraged male feeling he'd been cheated. Often I'm very blunt in my honesty. I am just not cut out for love triangles. It isn't about jealousy. It's just that I can only really focus my romantic interest on one person at one time... two people would be far too immense a distraction!

This may sound very confusing, when I'm attempting to be very clear and very truthful. I think I'm BEING very clear and very truthful. I do hope my words clarify rather than confuse. I'm happy that the triangle "thing" seems to work for you and hope it continues to ...it must be great to be so free within yourself. You don't mention whether you are "interested" in the boyfriend...just that you seem to continue feeling interested in the girl. Well...I continue feeling interested in the girl, too. : ) We have THAT in common.

I don''t know that you HAVE a problem, other than the fact that maybe you want to maintain an exclusive relationship with the girl instead of getting involved in a triangle? Well, maybe we have more than one thing in common! I don't especially like the 'triangle' business', either!

Love triangles are the worst.

Well, eric..either you dated that girl for about six hours or you went to one of the longer motorcycle races. It would be very sad to conclude that she ended the relationship she'd had with you and started a relationship with someone else solely on the basis of their shared dislike for motorcycles. There has to be more to life than that. Consider the whole "sour gummy candy" thing versus the "milk chocolates with creme-filled centers" controversy. Tattoo lovers versus those who would prefer being chloroformed, hogtied and thrown into a trunk before having skulls, roses or the word "Mom" tattooed on their forearm. If we all liked the same things, you'd never have dated that girl, never have stopped dating her. There would only be corn flakes. If you're incredibly lucky, there will b e box of Cap'n Crunch w/ Chunrchberrires,.
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Question - at what point in your friendship will the girl find someone else?
Does she tell you extensively she is now taken? Do you see the boyfriend for yourself?

We'd been dating for a couple of months prior to the motorcycle races.

UnseenSkye, I don't think that your post relates to the OP's experience. In his case he is the one that is pursuing the girl and then finds out that another man was also pursuing and it appears that the other person is the victor. Almost as if in your post you were talking about polygamy... no?

I prefer love pentragrams.

Being polynamorous is awesome

When she goes off somewhere for a while comes back saying she has a boyfriend.
She said that she was taken and I meet him.

Well, when you say love triangle, do you mean she's romantically involved with you and another guy at the same time, or rather, that you've got a crush on her, but she starts seeing another guy?

If it's the second case... well... there comes the importance of acting fast. If you have feelings for someone but she doesn't know, then most of the time, by probability, she'll find someone to be in a relationship with, sooner or later. "A few months" is enough time for an attractive single woman to find a boyfriend or similar, even if not necessarily a long term one. So if you're around a woman for "a few months" without doing anything, something like that is bound to happen. In those cases, I've learnt that if you have feelings for someone, it's better to act fast before it's too late.

As for actual love triangles, like the first cases... yeah they are crap. I remember I used to be in one of those, and prevailed over the other guy against all odds, but that's another story.

^Yes, I am mostly talking about the second case with this one where I love her but she loves someone else.