Social Value Tests: Women's ways of assessing men

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Quick Definition: Often unconscious (and sometimes conscious) tests that women throw at men in order to quickly determine their social status. It is a more specific instance of a “congruence test.” You may also refer to them as Social value or dominant tests.

The best way to respond to a test: It really depends on the situation, it will determine how needy you are or how much of a challenge you are. If you act or behave in a way that fails the test, your value will quickly go down and attraction will be lost. It is up to us to be able to recognise these tests and intercept them in a way that brings us out with the upper hand.

I know personally Face_of_Boo has mentioned quite a few examples of women testing him, I have also come across it and I feel we need to address this matter.

For instance one girl said she was going to be half an hour late for a date so I didn't respond, she quickly responded with just kidding and turned up first, this is a good example. Another example is when a woman says she has a boyfriend, in some cases this can be a bluff.

Key: Remember it is woman's natural instinct to try to get you to play putty in her hands, in other words this is to determine your social value. Once she established that you will play putty in her hands, she will lose attraction. Realize this, analyse the situation and act accordingly in a way that puts her in her place.

Don't act desperate - it's as simple as that.
A major key for young guys on the spectrum or even older guys who are getting into dating. Don't act desperate or needy, I didn't turn up for a date Friday and I'm meeting her again on Tuesday, delay the date, act like you are busy. The goal is to make yourself the challenge, remember love is a battlefield.

Now what if after a girl pulls this manipulative kinda crap, I just don't pursue her anymore?

This seems the female equivalent of PUA tactics, but for girls, they get their PUA tactics in magazines, just like they get their pornography in "romance novels."

That's why women naturally go for bad boys, its because they challenge them instead of giving into their tests. That's how a woman can end up with someone abusive. The more that decent guys that learn this, the better the quality of relationships. Women don't want to be abused but they want a guy that has an opinion.

Do Aspie women play such games?

Wtf?? Why bother with her?


Wtf?? Why bother with her?


Sounds like a good idea to me.

I'm with you, Yellow. I'd rather be single then have to deal with that BS day after day.... even if a player like that does choose you, the games only keep on going until she's had enough and ends things one way or another.

I'm guessing this is a major trait of "serial monogamists" as well as those who refuse to commit at all.

I suppose it's, with practice, possible even for an Aspie to conform to the Neurotypical ways to an extent, resulting in successful short-term sexual relationships should the individual decide to pursue such. I don't see it lasting for very long though, the inherent neurological differences are likely going to be an obstacle in long term even if both had similar beliefs and interests (80% of AS-NT marriages end in divorce).

The chances of finding a local woman with AS are slim, I think there's one support group in my area made up of males on spectrum. Don't be so quick to assume that all NT/AS relationships will be incompatible or fail on arrival.

Not wholly so, but here is a good example of the possible problems of an AS-NT relationship if the attraction was created by masking behaviors not entirely natural to the Aspie:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/my- ... eye-opener

The chances of finding a local woman with AS are slim, I think there's one support group in my area made up of males on spectrum. Don't be so quick to assume that all NT/AS relationships will be incompatible or fail on arrival.

groan

I don't really see how an AS/AS relationship would be a guaranteed success either. Despite being different people, people with AS are still people nonetheless. AS/NT relationship divorce rates are 80% but then normal overall divorce rate is 50%. That means in actuality, AS only increases your chance of failure by 30%, a difference, but not quite as substantial in that light.

People are people, AS is a commonality, but it doesn't guarantee friendship or magical super soul connection or anything. My uncle has Aspergers and he wasn't very pleasant at all, for example. Yeah, AS is a commonality between people, but even looking at it like race or ethnicity, can I say I feel a bit of kinship between people of my race/ethnicity? Certainly. Does this mean I'll like them all? Even more pertinent, does this mean I should write off other races and ethnicities?

Now normally I disagree a bit with Wolf and his advocation of "hook up" culture, but on this I must agree. The advice of "Oh find someone with AS" is pretty dumb and will not guarantee you anything except maybe that you'll both ramble to eachother about your hobbies IF you do happen to find another needle in a haystack person with AS.

If I meet a guy that is manipulative and makes inmature tricks to discover if I'm mad about him, I ignore him, I would NEVER do the same to him, I just ignore him. I don't like this kind of people.

If you manipulate in return, then you can't complain when the others do it to you next time, as you are playing and perpetuating the same game.

Never said that it's guaranteed, only that on average such relationships could potentially be more successful.

One example of our differences is our thinking patterns. The Autists think visually, like animals do, not verbally/symbolically like the Neurotypicals. This is why we usually get along with animals better than the Neurotypicals do, and feel increased empathy towards them. Similarly, we have potential of getting along with other Autists, and understand them better, naturally and fluently.

The other neurological features, such as our relative independence of thought and reluctance to "follow the herd" may indeed cause conflicts when two Autists meet, but finding a compatible Autistic partner has the potential to cause much stronger a bond than what one (Autist) could manage with a seemingly compatible Neurotypical.

^ Yes.

I also dislike how the post seems to imply all women do this and men don't.

There's lots of threads dedicated to male pick-up artist crap too. The two manipulating games are very, very different based on our typical genders... Pity these people waste so much time and effort into these ridiculous "games".