Monogamy vs Polyamory, Hit & Quit or Love & Commit?

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Which is better for people on the spectrum in your opinion? I am wondering what the healthier option is and I'd like to get some general views on this topic.

I have seen many people on the spectrum hold to the idea that a relationship is the ultimate solution to their problems, some even act as if a relationship will somehow magically make them happy and free them from responsibilities in their life. I have seen other people on the spectrum that acknowledge they have no desire for a committed relationship and aim to strive for their academic or financial goals and make a positive contribution through them.

I am not judging anyone for making either lifestyle choice, I just want to get an opinion on what is better for people on the spectrum and why.

Thats a wrong definition of polyamory. The latter being more as being in a relationship with many people, not as much as having no commitment type of deal which is what you described.

That out of the way I dont believe in there being a set one that people should strive for.

Depending on the circumstances and if people are open and consenting, I agree that neither choice is right or wrong morally and it can depend on the individual. However some people can be pressured into a marriage by family members and this can lead a person to be in a situation that isn't ideal for them.

If polyamory and openness was advertised and pushed as more of a lifestyle choice instead of monogamy, would less marriages fail and less people cheat on their partners?

While I don't have high hopes this thread will remain on topic for long, I'll give it a shot;

Since many of us don't do well with change and thrive on routine - wouldn't one constant partner be ideal?

hit it and quit it. get your fun and move onto the next. relationships and marriages rarely work. 50% to 60% divorce rates in some countries.

Polyamory (I'm talking about the one being in multiple relationships, not just sleeping around) may sound good (more the merrier!), but having multiple partners means more problems to deal with each too. And also each of your partners may have multiple partners. It just seems too complicated.
I think you would have to have good social skills and lots of free time to pull it off.

As a polyamorous person who has had a number of long-term poly relationships I find the thread title offensively inaccurate.

Polyamorous relationships aren't less committed than monogamous relationships. If anything, the openness and honesty necessary for a true poly relationship requires even more commitment. They may not be sexually or romantically exclusive, but at least everyone knows what's going on and can establish rules and limits. Whereas in a monogamous arrangement a person who has feelings for someone else will hide/repress those feelings causing a strain in the relationship and in a worst case scenario cheat on their partner.

I will say monogamy, if I can get the someone with the same ideas. Besides I can only give so much attention at a time.

Everyone is different.

Some people find their soul mate young and don't have to do a lot of searching.

Other people have to go through a lot of dates and a lot of partners until they marry later on, and along the way, they learn valuable lessons about themselves.

This.

^this
I think he means open relationships or just sleeping around

in any case, I think different arrangements work for different people and as long as everyone is honest with themselves and their partner/s and everybody is happy then everything is good, I don't think our AS determines what would be best for us in this area

I'm personally at this point in my life a fan of "monogamish"

^ This.


I've done long term poly, and my biggest problem was that my primary partner wouldn't be honest with the other women, and then they'd get into fights. I'd then get dragged into them, usually protecting the other women, because he had a tendency to treat them like prey. We finally broke up when his last effort failed, because after telling him I wasn't going through that nonsense again, he lied about being in a relationship.

Still, I've seen numerous, successful poly relationships of all kinds. Some of them included people I am reasonably sure were on the spectrum.

There is too much emphasis on this board with people believing there is only one way to do things, a trend I don't understand. This isn't Disney. NTs know there are multiple ways to be happy, that it's not a cookie-cutter world. Those of us on the AS need to realize it too, and make the most of what we have now, then concern ourselves with getting what else we might want. Stop looking at mythical ideals. The NTs are typically just as miserable as a lot of us here; they just cover it up.

I honestly think I would be happy in a polyamorous relationship not only is my libido high but I tend to be overly affectionate.

I think this is all personal and has nothing to do with Asperger's. I want monogamous LTRs. Now, I don't believe all LTRs are meant to last for life, but they all have their moment.

EXACTLY!

Many poly arrangements involve a set of "primary partners" to provide that element of stability. The primary partner is the constant, no matter what happens they support one another and always put one another first. Polyamory doesn't have to imply romantic or sexual chaos, and in an ideal situation it shouldn't.