I Can't Win!

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Well, to make a long story short I've spent a lot of time working on my confidence, physical appearance etc and while still no male model, I'm in terrific shape right now and feel great. I was starting to get a bit of female attention but all of a sudden the same pattern is emerging: they just stop talking to me out of the blue after expressing initial interest. I couldn't figure out what was going on until a woman I know and trust told me without me asking that women are likely intimidated by me being so tall and confident I can't seem to win. If I'm 'normal' me apparently I lack confidence and manliness but now that I have both I'm intimidating!? Either that, or there must be a slanderous article written about me online that I'm not aware of. I simply can't figure it out!

Just keep moving the goal post. I don't know what else to say, you need to have a life before you meet anyone right? Your life shouldn't be the other person that fills in the gap... I'm in the same boat. But now to find someone that is willing to put up with me.

I have been filling my time as best I can and while my social circle is indeed bigger than last year, it is still T-I-N-Y. I engaged in almost exclusively male activities for years so I didn't meet too many women and it seems the women I do meet won't get to know the 'real' me. I might look big and intimidating but I'm a soft as a kitten and am as playful as a child. I know a woman with a probable Aspie father and she was cheerful and friendly a week ago but was practically avoiding me yesterday and today. I can't figure out if it's because she can't stand me, she's intimidated by me since I have a better job, am older and in much better physical shape or because she's an Aspie too. She does seem rather immature for her age (26) but I have no issues with any of that whatsoever. I'm starting to suspect that she's on the spectrum because she constantly cuts herself down a bit every time we talk just like I used to do. Where's the 'woman' manual when you need it?

Hey, your social circle grew. That is def something to be proud of.

Join the club, GiantHockeyFan. Some of us just can't win no matter what.

Sweet! Where can I obtain a copy of this book? It's a slow weekend!

Seriously though every man I know tells me women are impossible to figure out yet they all seem to know enough to fall in love, get married and have children. I'm sure they have their problems but still that's a lot more progress than I'm making. All I can figure is that I must be the most oblivious person in the world. I just wish someone would come right out and tell me why this keeps happening, especially since all my married female co-workers really like me and assure me I'm a dream catch for a lady. It's almost like the job hunt all over again: be confident, but not too confident, smile but not too much, make eye contact but not too long. I'm starting to wonder if it's even worth the hassle anymore.

For some it is worth it. For others it isn't. You have to figure out what you want from relationships/life and then achieve those goals.

With me the issue is that *something* I cannot explain is pushing me to become a father. Maybe because nobody else in my extended family is going to have any. Of course, I would need a high quality woman to accomplish that as a child is not a toy and needs a loving and stable family first. I'm obviously not too old but with zero girlfriends the time is now to make progress.

I just can't get why only low class women are attracted to me and the type of women I'm attracted to and would be great mothers are seemingly repulsed by me. Its not like i talk babies right away or anything! If I do find that special someone, they are going to be one lucky lady based on the efforts I have gone through to find her and how insanely loyal I am to those I care about.

Sounds vaguely like the plot of "She Stoops To Conquer" by Oliver Goldsmith. Maybe what is happening is that you behave awkwardly around women that you find appealing, but around women you are not attracted to and are not trying to impress, you behave more naturally. As a result, the women you are not attracted to get to see you as a normal person who might actually be attractive to them, while the women you are attracted to see only the awkward, inept side of you and are consequently unimpressed.

I could condense that down to a simple sentence, but I don't want to be banned.

A few paragraphs will do:

http://imageshack.us/a/img145/2438/1333205705956844.jpg

Perhaps, but it's not like I had to beat women off me when I didn't care to have any type of relationship. I might be oblivious, but I sure didn't pick up on anything that could even be close to serious attention back then. Again, it seems that I try to hard and I need to act 'normal' but when I do I have even less success.

Without giving us any idea what your interactions are, I can only make some wild guesses.

-You dominate the conversation and don't give the other person a chance to speak
-You keep the conversation too friendly and never escalate towards flirting/sexualized conversation
-You spend too much time talking about one or two interests of yours (common aspie problem)
-You're missing obvious social cues from the woman
-(Judging from OP) you have delusional confidence and interpret attraction where there is none (it's common to mistake friendliness for attraction)
-You're trying too hard and people pick up on that
-The woman feels like you're trying to manipulate her into bed

And that's like 1% of possible reasons. But anyway, I'm pretty sure you're overestimating your level of physical attraction as well as its importance. I'm 6"6 and consider myself very physically attractive. I've even had a guy friend as well as a psychologist tell me, without sarcasm, that I could be a model. Doesn't change the fact that I'm almost 23 years old and have only been in a handful of sexual relationships.

Women are overwhelmingly attracted to a man's social status, which is conveyed primarily through his behavior. Being physically attractive is only a small part of the puzzle. Having confidence, amazing style, a huge circle of friends and passions will get you WAY farther than being a pretty boy without those qualities.