Samurai balls are no more (chopped by pinky Katanas).....

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This is so humiliating and unfair.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-19674306

When a man gives little money to his non-working wife they call him cheap - but when a non-working woman leaves her husband little "pocket money" (of the money HE earns) they call her a good household manager. lol

My entire married life was this way... and people wonder how misogynists are created? (And no, I didn't become one...but the danger was there.)

This is not "empowering women" - this is husband abuse at the hands of evil women.

I'm all for equality and human rights - but not giving up all my rights so someone can trample on me like *some* (not all) men did 200 years ago.

[EDIT:] I changed my mind later in the thread and wanted to make sure it was known that while MY marriage was abusive financially, the Japanese man in the OP's thread was not. He got almost 10% of his money to do anything he wanted - that's not bad at all! He probably needed someone to put limits on his overspending and she's doing him a pretty big favour in the long run.

Mine? She didn't let me spend a cent. I needed permission to buy GAS!

Last edited by BlueMax on 29 Sep 2012, 1:29 am, edited 2 times in total.

wait, so are they still married

and the issue is that she's paying the bills and saving for their retirement (not that she's buying herself toys or anything)

is he legally obligated or is this just their arrangement, if he chose to have a stay at home spouse he doesn't get to have unilateral control over the budget (neither should she unless there are outstanding circumstances)

it isnt what I'd want but it sounds like the disagreement is over money being used in a practical way vs. having fun money

8.8 percent of takehome, after food, shelter, retirement savings, utilities, clothing, all neccesities and comforts of life, for just "whatever I want money"

doesn't seem too bad
my parents are/were teachers and rarely had much "just for whatever I want" money after all our needs were taken care of

I fail to see how responsible budgeting of their (they are married) money is evil
if she were denying him fun money while spending a lot on fun things just for her it would be pretty evil, but that doesn't seem to be the case

and we're talking Japan! Which was once the civilization of the true manhood!

if it's his money he can have unilateral control..

the issue is economic, cost of living/paycheck
not evil wives stealing money

Oh look....

I am totally sure if genders were inverted you'd be furious.

No, this is not sharing money nor it's dividing responsibilities, this is abuse under those titles.

Ok, all married couples would discuss their spending habits, but the way it's described in the thread is TOO MUCH and too one-sided!!

My mom does work and she does manage most of the expenses but she doesn't take my whole dad's salary leaving him pocket money. No one has full access to the other's income.

$381 probably out of a typical japanese high income, this is nothing. He lives just for her, it's like men are treated like stupid mindless kids who risk to overspend like idiots and only their wives know what's good for them and for the house (ie like the retirement example above). Men are adult, they don't need anyone to give them "pocket money".

No, I'm doubtful that if the genders were reversed the husbands would be making pie charts of household expenses and making their wives lunch and not spending on their own frippery but that's the extent of by 'bias' (studies show women are more likely to spend on family vs, self)

the allowances are pretty tight but, thats after all their living expenses are paid for
and the reason they are tight is because household income is tight, not because the money managing spouse is taking at all
I fail to see how having most of your paycheck go to your family home, the food you and your family eat, your childs school, you and your families clothing etc. is "living for her"
when money is tight you have to give up expensive hobbies istead of abandoning retirement savings, or letting your children go without shoes

Here you go, belittling men.


the second couple mentioned above don't have kids, yet it seems it's newly cultural thing in japan for the wife to take it all, regardless if they have kids or not.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 28 Sep 2012, 1:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

and I doubt that she spends on her personal stuff like make up, clothes, activities in less than $380 a month. Taking all his salary means that she can spends on her personal stuff flexibly and as much as she wants while him has to ask for HER permission for any extra personal spending.

I didn't see any evidence of that in the article, if that were the case I'd feel differently
if women are traditionally the "household" managers, it makes sense for them do be doing the budget

in the article when a man is offered to do the budget himself he gives it back for being "too hard"
also in there article they were having open frank discussions with charts and numbers about the money

most men uoted seem to be lamenting the economy not their wives

I just think if you wanted a "women are teh ebils" topic, this wasn't the best choice

he's just making a point about how women can do anything and it is considered ''right''(such as keeping her husband's money to herself and from him)while men are demonized for not handing over their own money to greedy women.

why should i pay for a first date for a girl who will never see me again bc s thinks she's too good for me?

ok, we could talk about the article
or we could talk about what you wanna talk about

Not directly, but certainly indirectly - in the same way passive-aggression is still abuse.

She's taking his money (she earns none) and squirrels it away for "retirement", which she will spend later. She determined he is not allowed to do the things he used to so the money will be available to her later in life. She may not be squandering it all now on frivolous waste, instead she chained him up in order to secure herself a house and old age "security". His wants/needs are unimportant compared to her need for security.

[edit] BUT... You do also have a point... 8.8% of his income is still his to waste any way he wants. That's so much better than I ever had... my comments are more in regard to MY marriage than this fellow. It's still passive-aggressive and unhealthy, but we don't know the whole story. He apparently had expensive tastes before... so she's reeled that in to keep it in her old-age pension fund. But he still has some playmoney, so she's not a total ballbreaker.

Last edited by BlueMax on 28 Sep 2012, 1:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.

He could stop doing that. The check is made out to him. The consequences would be huge fights with her. Maybe she would leave him. Maybe not. But if he wants to control his own money he should not hand it over.

They seem to be raised and brainwashed in that way. This is not individual abuse, this is a cultural abuse of a whole one gender in specific matter.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 28 Sep 2012, 1:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.