Why do you feel the need to quit trying?

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why do you guys feel the need to quit? Emotionally I know you guys are gonna feel bad for the breakups, and that takes time to recover. Fine, cool, whatever, but you guys need to get back up on your own two damn feet and try again.

I have a physics teacher that preached this message to us during a lecture that I think rings true to everyone, especially in this forum. Whenever we say that we can't do something, we'll give up and quit and never learn from the mistakes we made from trying.

So what a girl denied you and threw you in the friendzone, SO WHAT. Your heart is still beating, you're still breathing, life goes on! Keep fighting and keep trying to find that one person that you want to be with. I don't give a damn how many times you fail miserably; stand up and keep fighting! There's no reason why you should give up. This process sucks and its so hard to figure out...

THIS IS LIFE. SUCK IT UP, GROW A SPINE, AND FIGHT!

I'll be damned if I'm going to keep jumping through hoops only to be used and thrown out. Call it "growing a spine" or whatever you want, but I find having a brain is a lot more useful. A lot of people out there don't deserve what I've got to give, so why should I keep hurting myself?

A guy can rent the best thing a relationship offers by the hour, so why bother getting it for "free"?

What hurts you can only make your a stronger human being.



One word: Herpes.

You are such a mark for CM Punk.

I'm more of a hobbies and hedonism kinda guy anyway.

There's perseverating, and then there's beating a dead horse

lol. the rather simple attitude of someone who has been given everything. When you spend half a decade or more of trying with not one sad excuse for success then you will know why we give up. until then, just shut up and dont talk about what you know nothing of.

agreed an op what breakups??? most here are virgins.

It is not so much giving up as it is realizing just how little worth it really is.

I haven't been given a damn thing in life when it comes to dating. I'm in the same boat as a lot of people on here are: 1 relationship that just didn't work out. I spent as much time as i could (and to this day I still do in a little way) recover from it. It was a long term relationship, and stuff like that happens.

I couldn't deal with this whole idea that after 2 years, after I made that slow and painful recovery and kicked back a bit, I was in a routine: going to school, talking to the same people, going back home and...hopping along on the computer. I don't have the luxury of a car to see anyone or hangout with people out here whether or not they have stuff that they are doing or I have no way of reaching.

This monotonous routine is killing me and i am trying to break free of it and try something new. I'm ready for another shot, and i don't give a damn if i can barely walk, if i can barely breathe, or even if all hope is lost. I can't just throw in the towel and simply give up when the timing is right to do so.

There's not much good about that. All it means is you've been through a lot of unnecessary ****. I'd like to steer clear of that as much as possible.

Yep, I would go along with that too.

The idea of "keep fighting" and "keep on going", "don't give up" etc, becomes even more unrealistic for aspies when they get into their 40s. Most of us realize that no amount of neurotypical compatibility-mode training is going stop the distress that we feel when it comes to loud noises, sensory issues, non-verbal communication etc. We also know there's no point trying to make friends over and over again with selfish A-holes.

You can't say to a quadraplegic person in a wheelchair, "hey you should stand up, don't give up trying, keep fighting it, keep trying to stand up." No they have to accept their limitations and accept that some things they will never be able to change ; although there are lots of good things they can do.

For aspies, if the loneliness wasn't enough, there's always past the decades of repeat ridicule out there to top it all. Many would agree that this is *no way to live* ; this poll suggests the same : http://www.wrongplanet.net/postx143823-15-0.html

Perhaps instead of trying "harder", aspies here need to try more "intelligently".

Hard work does not necessarily lead to productivity (in this case finding dates or wtv). One could spend all day hand-writing a bunch of accounting data that could instead be automated by excel in a matter of minutes.

If you're spending decades of your life date-less, then you're working hard at the wrong things. Go to the gym, update your wardrobe, join some clubs, go out more often, etc. Or, perhaps more likely, you're not working hard enough, but deluding yourself that you are as an excuse for accepting failure.

I don't necessarily quit trying as much as I have no idea how to try in the first place. I mean, I have awkwardly tried asking women out, but the answer is not as much a no as it is getting blown off. Plus, I don't relate well with a lot of people and so it's not like I would have a lot in common with too many women. I also have to deal with the fact that I am fairly well self-educated but I have a service industry job that sees me working 6 nights a week. I may average $15-20 an hour, but I still just deliver pizza. I am really stuck too since if I work any other shift I will see myself losing a significant portion of my income- perhaps as much as 25%.

The kind of women I would most likely get along with are college educated but they would want nothing to do with a 38 year old pizza guy who has no sexual or romantic experience. Women in my industry are normally not older than their mid 20's and would not want anything to do with someone my age (I have tried). I am also very articulate and speak in a manner that makes most people see me as highly intelligent and well educated, which is off putting to working class people who have not taken the time to study speech patterns and vocabulary that I have. I have found this to be true since I am often told that people do not understand the relatively common words I use. Thus, it is not that I am not open, but rather that possibilities do not present themselves to me. I find myself in an odd position now since I generally get along with my co-workers but have nothing in common with them. This means I am not wanted in their social circle. Even if I was, I do not drink or use drugs, two activities that are fairly common among people in my industry. Therefore I would not be well accepted in their social group as these are normal things that seem to accompany their social activities.

The thing is: You can't argue with experience, and you can't argue with emotions. I have been quite recently reminded on why I quit trying: It always results in be being hurt and feeling bad because I have the emotional abilities of a 10 year old, and it always occupies my mind and distracts me from what I really have to do, from college and planning my future, from my hobbies, all that. It saps my energy and turns me into something I do not want to be, someone who loses control. Maybe if I am settled in with all I need, a job and my little place to call home, then I can maybe start thinking about going out there again.

Call me jaded, but even a very persistent fellow like me knows what Einstein said about the definition of insanity. I have tried almost everything, including making myself much more physically attractive and outgoing. While I get more initial attention, the women never seem to want to take it to the next level. A girl I was talking to let it slip and confirmed what I suspected: women simply are HIGHLY suspicious of why someone like me (attractive, tall, athletic, good w/kids, own car/job/apt) is not only single but lacking experience because it literally makes no sense: I must be hiding something big.

It's the old catch 22: nobody is interested in me because of my lack of experience and I can't get experience with women because nobody is interested in me. Same struggle I had finding work: someone like me must be lying because women would be insane to pass me up. Well, here I am! I simply have to face the fact it will take a caring, kind and open minded women to see my true nature but I'm starting to wonder if she exists (or should I say is single).

To go back to my job example: I was told to keep doing a certain thing by 'experts' and things would work out. I later found out where I was looking, people who had THREE professional designations in addition to an accounting degree were applying for these $10 an hour job. I simply wasted a year of my life because I followed the BS 'just keep trying' advice.