I believe that social skills are something you're born with

Page 1 of 2 [ 28 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Lonermutant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,724
Location: Namsos, Norway

15 Dec 2006, 3:47 am

And that they can't be taught if they don't develop normally.

An update on me and Seroquel: I've taken it for 10 days now and I still have anxiety and stim a lot because of it, but I dont have tics anymore and I'm finally sleeping better at night.
I still think about chemical castration. I'm seeing my psychologist on Tuesday because I want to be evaluated for it.



logitechdog
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 973
Location: Uk - Thornaby

15 Dec 2006, 4:46 am

chemical castration? erm isnt this for child sex offenders and rapists for temporary preventive measure or punishment.



Side Effects

The use of Depo-Provera can cause several side effects including weight gain, fatigue, thromboembolism, malaise, hypertension, mild depression, hypoglycemia and rare changes in liver enzymes.

In most men the use of Tamoxifen will produce no side effects. In rare cases it may result in headaches, nausea, vomiting or skin rash. Weight loss has also been reported in men due to reversal of the bloating effect of excess estrogen caused by fluid retention.

In addition to ethical concerns, chemical castration may increase blood pressure in males, sometimes to dangerous levels. Other side effects, such as the formation of abnormal fat deposits in the liver, are being investigated.

Don't know which of the reason your taking Seroquel but i don't think you have had the total help out of the doctor...

http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html ... html?print
http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html ... html?print

Link to dealing with mental illness and advice...

http://www.rethink.org/living_with_ment ... index.html



Lonermutant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,724
Location: Namsos, Norway

15 Dec 2006, 5:28 am

I've been considering taking Tamoxifen as a form of chemical castration: See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tamoxifen.
I use Seroquel against manic episodes and anxiety and it's finally starting to help.



MrMark
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2006
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,918
Location: Tallahassee, FL

15 Dec 2006, 5:47 am

I tend to think social skills are "aquired" the way language is.


_________________
"The cordial quality of pear or plum
Rises as gladly in the single tree
As in the whole orchards resonant with bees."
- Emerson


Lonermutant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,724
Location: Namsos, Norway

15 Dec 2006, 7:15 am

No, I'm certain it's something you're born with.



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

15 Dec 2006, 7:17 am

I don't think so. I had very little social skills until I was about 15 or 16. What I have now, I learned. I pick things up all the time from watching other people. So what you say is rubbish.



MrMark
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2006
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,918
Location: Tallahassee, FL

15 Dec 2006, 7:19 am

There's an inherent problem with certainty.


_________________
"The cordial quality of pear or plum
Rises as gladly in the single tree
As in the whole orchards resonant with bees."
- Emerson


BubbaHoTep
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 260
Location: Austin, Texas y'all

15 Dec 2006, 8:00 am

I also must respectfully disagree. The social skills I had at birth were pretty crap. But I have learned enough since then to get along fairly well.



alex
Developer
Developer

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jun 2004
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,216
Location: Beverly Hills, CA

15 Dec 2006, 8:17 am

don't be such a stick in the mud man


_________________
I'm Alex Plank, the founder of Wrong Planet. Follow me (Alex Plank) on Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/alexplank.bsky.social


alex
Developer
Developer

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jun 2004
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,216
Location: Beverly Hills, CA

15 Dec 2006, 8:18 am

alex wrote:
don't be such a stick in the mud man


alotta this social stuff is just customs, which is why foreigners who go to school in another country can alienate their peers a lot of the times.


_________________
I'm Alex Plank, the founder of Wrong Planet. Follow me (Alex Plank) on Blue Sky: https://bsky.app/profile/alexplank.bsky.social


Tim_Tex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2004
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,060
Location: Houston, Texas

15 Dec 2006, 8:47 am

I feel that social skills can be learned, but on the other hand, we should not pretend to be somebody else in order to impress people.

Tim


_________________
Who’s better at math than a robot? They’re made of math!

Now proficient in ChatGPT!


CanyonWind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2006
Age: 73
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,656
Location: West of the Great Divide

15 Dec 2006, 9:14 am

Kurt Vonnegut said once that everybody has some things they will never catch on to no matter how much they try, and some things where they can't understand why everybody else seems to have so much trouble learning.

The most reasonable assumption is that social skills are like music, math, or basketball, or pretty much any other skill. Most people's abilities are about average, some people have an innate genius for it, and some people will never be able to get anywhere no matter how much they try to practice.

I'm one of the ones who hasn't been able to learn social skills at all no matter how much I read, observe, talk to counselors, and attempt to practice.

After spending a lifetime of trying my best and failing completely, the last thing I feel like listening to is one more jerk telling me that they were able to learn it, so if I failed, that means I didn't try.


_________________
They murdered boys in Mississippi. They shot Medgar in the back.
Did you say that wasn't proper? Did you march out on the track?
You were quiet, just like mice. And now you say that we're not nice.
Well thank you buddy for your advice...
-Malvina


Bart21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2006
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 558

15 Dec 2006, 10:29 am

It's kind of in between really.
They can be learned to a certain extend differing per person.
Some people might train them for years and not get far at all.
While others might actually become decent by doing the same.
And than there is the average non AS person who develops them perfectly at a young age.



Fiz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jan 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,821
Location: Manchester, United Kingdom

15 Dec 2006, 12:32 pm

I have picked some social skills up along the way. They used to be crap when I was little but have got better as I've got older.


_________________
The only person in the world that can truly make you happy is yourself.


biostructure
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2006
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,455

19 Dec 2006, 2:19 am

Like I just posted on another thread, I think that learning can partially compensate for an innate deficit, but that there is great variability in natural skill level. Almost everyone can learn enough math to understand personal finances, and enough writing ability to write job applications and letters. However, I don't think anyone can become a college math professor or an award-winning author. Similarly, I believe that with enough teaching almost everyone can gain enough social skills to interact with others in their day-to-day lives, although empathy and ability to understand what makes people "tick" will never be some people's strong points. I can perfectly normally introduce myself in a crowd and carry out basic conversations with people, but when it gets to really "understanding" people on a complex emotional level (beyond "he's happy", "she's sad", "he's angry") I still have a hard time.

Why are you considering chemical castration though? I don't see how that will help you socially at all, just take away a perfectly normal physical capacity.



Lonermutant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,724
Location: Namsos, Norway

19 Dec 2006, 2:39 am

I want to castrate myself because I know that I can never get sex in any "natural" way and because I'm extremely addicted to online porn.