Guy is psycho calling me!! !

Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

janicka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Sep 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,911
Location: Mountain Paradise

22 Nov 2006, 11:52 am

I met this guy at work last year when we were both having marital problems. I'm married to an NT and I think that he's gotta be somewhere on the spectrum but his wife is NT. Anyway, his wife took off for like 6 months and we started hanging around together. When we started hanging around, I realized that he was probably aspie as well for a number of reasons that I won't get into, since that's not the point. Suffice it to say, we didn't even hold hands despite spending a lot of time together (I tried once and we both freaked out). But he was definitely the more aggressive one in the relationship because he kept coming by my department to the point that I got in trouble (which is kind of hypocritical - physicians NEVER get in trouble for this stuff even though they are the aggressive ones). So, anyway, his wife got back into town and she called me and told me to stay away. It seems like he blamed the whole thing on me, which is kind of a joke, but I can only imagine how the conversation went if he was trying to save himself. As much as I like him, I decided it wasn't worth it do deal with some psycho NT b***h.

Anyway, it's been a little over a month since this happenned, and now he keeps calling me and hanging up. It's a little ridiculous since we're both in our 30's and fairly well educated (albeit limited in our social skills). I want him to either stop doing it or talk to me when he calls. I'd prefer to talk to him, but I don't want to call him because I'd show up on caller ID and have to deal with the b***h.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

22 Nov 2006, 6:21 pm

I don't think you should waste your time on him, he seems like an immature prat.



Metabird
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 61

22 Nov 2006, 7:12 pm

I'd... rely on sheer instinct here. Take everything the rest of us says regarding the guy with a grain of salt; I don't know him -- you do.

Do what it takes, but actually TALK to him, find out what's really doing on. The brutally jealous NT can go fume or whatever it is she's doing. It's not helping anything. In fact if I had to take a wild guess the guy's basically her lapdog/puppet, too scared mayhaps to tell her off?


_________________
-Will return later. Currently thinking.-


willow
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 509
Location: florida

22 Nov 2006, 7:32 pm

just based on what you posted here,

you should block his number from being able to call you. if he blamed you once, he is capable of blaming you again...the last thing you need is some psycho wife who *thinks* you are a vapid whore down your throat.


also, a friend wouldn't toss you to the wolves to save themselves. well, they would at least immediately tell you they did it and apologize, or something. his behaviour (the hanging up) coupled with the blame he placed on you seem like a recipe for a bad thing, imho.


_________________
Hey little sister what have you done?
Hey little sister who?s the only one?


devilmaster2001
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 20 Nov 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 74
Location: 1879, zulu wars in the 80th drunk as a skunk.

23 Nov 2006, 6:44 am

lady do us all a favour this universe has enough problems with chavs and all that so get the cops on him cus his one more problem in an already problemed world. oh and the wife just tell her to go to the devil. cus she aint worth a moment of your time. though i dont trust cops at all since they broke my arm five years back id just go to em. i know id do something very violent but im not in your situation nor would want to. so i do reccomend going to the police. get him arrested for harrasment.

brother devil


_________________
michael barley
80th regiment of foot.

we few, we happy few, we band of brothers for he who sheds his blood with me is my brother.


Gamester
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,935
Location: Newberg, OR

24 Nov 2006, 10:03 pm

best advice.

call the cops.
call a private investigator
get a restraining order.

in that order.



Kahazidhea
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 9 Nov 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 306

24 Nov 2006, 10:56 pm

janicka wrote:
I met this guy at work last year when we were both having marital problems. I'm married to an NT and I think that he's gotta be somewhere on the spectrum but his wife is NT. Anyway, his wife took off for like 6 months and we started hanging around together. When we started hanging around, I realized that he was probably aspie as well for a number of reasons that I won't get into, since that's not the point. Suffice it to say, we didn't even hold hands despite spending a lot of time together (I tried once and we both freaked out). But he was definitely the more aggressive one in the relationship because he kept coming by my department to the point that I got in trouble (which is kind of hypocritical - physicians NEVER get in trouble for this stuff even though they are the aggressive ones). So, anyway, his wife got back into town and she called me and told me to stay away. It seems like he blamed the whole thing on me, which is kind of a joke, but I can only imagine how the conversation went if he was trying to save himself. As much as I like him, I decided it wasn't worth it do deal with some psycho NT b***h.

Anyway, it's been a little over a month since this happenned, and now he keeps calling me and hanging up. It's a little ridiculous since we're both in our 30's and fairly well educated (albeit limited in our social skills). I want him to either stop doing it or talk to me when he calls. I'd prefer to talk to him, but I don't want to call him because I'd show up on caller ID and have to deal with the b***h.


Why did you want to commit adultery with him? Don't you care about your husband?


_________________
Despair is always darkest just before it goes pitch black.


Gamester
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,935
Location: Newberg, OR

25 Nov 2006, 12:32 am

Kahaz....she said at the time she was having problems with her husband.....even though I don't approve in the slightest, yeash....it is adultery.

Though the question I would like answered before I can offer advice is why did you start being friends with this guy in the first place? of course if you and your husband happened to be split at the time then, I guess in some circles of acceptiablity of a narrow margin, that would be okay. however I do want to know, are you and your husband back together, and does he know about your possibly infedility.



ooh_choc
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2004
Gender: Male
Posts: 201

25 Nov 2006, 4:04 am

Metabird wrote:
The brutally jealous NT can go fume or whatever it is she's doing. It's not helping anything. In fact if I had to take a wild guess the guy's basically her lapdog/puppet, too scared mayhaps to tell her off?
Personally I think it's understandable that she'd be jealous. Virtually everyone, NT or otherwise, would be the same. What I don't understand, or sympathise with, is why you're hateful towards her when you know virtually nothing about her.



Scintillate
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2006
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,284
Location: Perth

25 Nov 2006, 5:38 am

janicka wrote:
I met this guy at work last year when we were both having marital problems. I'm married to an NT and I think that he's gotta be somewhere on the spectrum but his wife is NT. Anyway, his wife took off for like 6 months and we started hanging around together. When we started hanging around, I realized that he was probably aspie as well for a number of reasons that I won't get into, since that's not the point. Suffice it to say, we didn't even hold hands despite spending a lot of time together (I tried once and we both freaked out). But he was definitely the more aggressive one in the relationship because he kept coming by my department to the point that I got in trouble (which is kind of hypocritical - physicians NEVER get in trouble for this stuff even though they are the aggressive ones). So, anyway, his wife got back into town and she called me and told me to stay away. It seems like he blamed the whole thing on me, which is kind of a joke, but I can only imagine how the conversation went if he was trying to save himself. As much as I like him, I decided it wasn't worth it do deal with some psycho NT b***h.

Anyway, it's been a little over a month since this happenned, and now he keeps calling me and hanging up. It's a little ridiculous since we're both in our 30's and fairly well educated (albeit limited in our social skills). I want him to either stop doing it or talk to me when he calls. I'd prefer to talk to him, but I don't want to call him because I'd show up on caller ID and have to deal with the b***h.


I can offer the point of view of a guy who's done the same?

I feel stupid about it now, but I feel I should share, obsession is a powerful thing, with some people to feel or love another person, this obsession is required, these people most often work best alone, or mostly alone. Anyway, this obsessive nature can be directed towards goals, work, ideas etc.. But sometimes its directed towards a person.

Meaning I rang her 500 times when she didn't want to talk, just to get an answer, whether good or bad, because I was so obsessed with her, and my feelings are so polarised, I had to make her love me or hate me.

You should block his number if you can, I have a feeling he actually wants you to block it, and help him end his obsession or addiction. Personally I found a way to break free of it, through focus in something else, but sometimes people can live their whole lives without realising they make others their entire world when they feel something together.

Sorry if this wasn't clear.


_________________
All hail the new flesh, cause it suits me fine!


Gamester
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,935
Location: Newberg, OR

25 Nov 2006, 8:30 pm

Basically......yeah.

thankfully my obsessions border on good music and a good book and good food. and no, I'm not gay.



AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 72,248
Location: Portland, Oregon

10 Dec 2006, 2:37 pm

Being identified with this, I was a perp Summer 2005 trying to talk to this NT girl who was nice to me & is now in junior year with me. When I told her I knew her email address, she got a new one and cancelled the one I knew.

Get a restraining order
Change all your contacts {phone #, email, etc.}
Don't talk to this guy ever again



logitechdog
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Nov 2006
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 973
Location: Uk - Thornaby

10 Dec 2006, 4:36 pm

why go through all that just to get rid of someone all is needed is a call baring on the number or to change it... geez why people like getting others in trouble someone does something to you so u attack back with something that screws them up geez be the bigger person and act like an adult ... only thing to learn is don't give anyone your number unless you know them........ or even so only a mobile thats easy to get rid of...

and if you want to call him and have no caller id show up do you not have any pay phones in your town?

don't know if you can do the same in america but u can withhold your number here by dailing 141 before the number if you are in america look up the withhold numbers to dial before the number