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MetalMax
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13 Oct 2012, 2:40 pm

I often find myself in a situation when I want to talk to someone new out in public, especially girls. If I even think about approaching them a million thoughts run through my mind (is she attracted to me, are they going to hurt me/waste my time, have they already passed unfair judgement on the very sight of me, is it too late to try to talk to them, etc.) I always end up ducking out, then beating myself up for it later. Then the next day, its the same thing again.

who else has this problem?



hurtloam
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13 Oct 2012, 5:14 pm

I understand what you're saying. I don't try and initiate conversation with strangers. That might seem like chickening out, but i've realised I don't need that stress in my life. I meet people via being introduced to them through friends.



MetalMax
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13 Oct 2012, 5:20 pm

I don't necessarily want to avoid it, I want to talk to people and find new friends. Its just hard when I feel like I am facing judgment.

Usually when I do talk to strangers, the conversation is usually short and awkward, considering I never smile around strangers. I have to want to smile. Just smiling just to smile feels weird to me.



Alberto
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14 Oct 2012, 2:39 am

I know how you feel, and you never know what the other person is thinking of you unless you can read it from their facial expression as you approach, but confidence is always a winning approach, it's not easy for everyone though.



Taybot97
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14 Oct 2012, 10:15 am

Alberto wrote:
I know how you feel, and you never know what the other person is thinking of you unless you can read it from their facial expression as you approach, but confidence is always a winning approach, it's not easy for everyone though.


You can't tell why they think unless you read the nonverbal signs, I can't read the nonverbal signs. Confidence may be the winning approach but its hard to be confident when moving towards the unknown. I could have confidence if the person had a sign around their neck saying 'I would enjoy meeting you and talking to you'.



2wheels4ever
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14 Oct 2012, 11:15 am

'Cold contact' is something I've struggled with most of my life, and can relate with what OP is saying. The times I've ever felt genuine confidence have been while I was engaged in performing music or solving a mechanical issue and in those cases I've been approached first, so it's rather paradoxical in a sense. Otherwise I feel it's too creepy to approach anyone; I analyze things I could possibly say then panic at the thought of what to say next and even if the thoughts>words>brain>mouth>ears will complete the journey successfully


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