Who else here would feel kinda awkward dating another aspie?

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I dunno, I would just kinda look at it as being way too chaotic, or maybe I just wouldn't like to see my bad traits reflected like looking in a mirror. I guess it could be argued that you would feel more connected to a person through a common bond. But to me I feel like It would be accepting that I'm not normal and saying that I have no choice but to date other aspies cause I am too "weird".

Just watching videos of higher spectrum aspies makes me extremely uncomfortable and self conscious. As I think i'm pretty low spectrum...just not low enough to be completely "normal".

To me it would feel more weird dating a NT than a Aspie.

I would be more comfortable dating a Aspie than NT, if we both know that were Aspie that would make things easier IMO

Maybe because I'm closer to the NT spectrum than Aspie? I have mor ea desire to be normal than just be complacent with being segregated to dating aspies.

I feel like I am normal enough to have a desire to be with someone "normal" but just a little too weird to actually achieve it. Kinda annoying.

i have dated two folks with aspergers. i didn't feel they were empathetic enough to be long-term partners. i'm married to someone not on the spectrum.

A lot of people aren't empathetic. It has nothing to do with Aspergers IMO considering I have Aspergers and feel empathy for others far more than myself.

Who else has never even met another person diagnosed with AS?

Since a lot of folks with AS have trouble with confrontation or speaking up, and I don't at all anymore, I'd always be worried that I was pushing him into doing something that he doesn't want to do. I used to be very quiet and afraid of confrontation and really wouldn't say s**t if I had a mouthful, as they say, but I'm the opposite now and can be downright pushy and in your face when I feel like it's important. I have a sort of forceful personality now. So, I'd always worry that the guy really didn't want to do something or wasn't happy with something and just didn't want to tell me.

I even feel that way sometimes with some of my NT friends who are nonconfrontational.

Me. But I'm not diagnosed either.

I would be best matched with someone with mild asperger's who doesn't try to fit in with NTs.
But I understand the chances of meeting someone like that with mutual attractions are pretty slim.

I have not. If I didnt I wouldnt want it to be a huge talking point as I don't want my condition to run my life or be the main focal point of it.

I don't think of it as a segregation. I wouldn't actively search for an aspie, specifically, to date. For me it is about finding someone who I have a common bond with, like you said in your original post, and I think I would tend to feel more connected with people who are in a similar place on the spectrum as me. By "spectrum" I mean the entire thing, including NTs. A lot of the things that I value in a partner are things that people at the more AS end tend to have, so by default I may end up with an aspie, and that wouldn't worry me.

Actually I tend to get along best with "cuspies", a term I learnt a couple of months ago which refers to those who are near the borderline, if there was such a thing. Who coined that term anyway? Hats off to you

Last edited by yellowtamarin on 31 Aug 2012, 8:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Lol, cuspies? Thats a funny way of putting it, that's about what I am I would say. I get kinda embarrassed of my condition when I see the high spectrum ones and I sometimes wonder if I'm really that bad when I know i'm not. Makes me really self conscious.

I think it would depend on the person. Not everyone would be able to tolerate my quirks and intense interests and I suspect I would have the same issue with a female aspie who was much different from myself. I sort of sit on the border between the NT and ASD worlds so I can get some things but miss others. I would want someone who is at a similar place as someone who was more cold and unresponsive than I am would likely not give me enough feedback to feel a connection. Above all though is patience. It is something I have in large quantity and would want in a prospective partner. They would need it as it would take some time for us to get to know each other well enough to form a connection.

Dating someone like me would be like nuclear fusion. It'll only happen by an act of God.

neuros and aspies are like having to complicated worlds to figure out.one is understandable but the other seems to not get it.

Someone I know coined the term, the official term for it is BAP (Broader Autistic Phenotype).

Doesn't BAP just refer to relatives of the ASD person who have milder symptoms? Perhaps it has since been extended.