Problems with talking to girls

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Taybot97
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31 Oct 2012, 5:31 pm

I've throughout my entire life had trouble talking to girls. Early in my life it was all girls, but I've gotten past that. Up until recently I was almost completely unable to talk to a girl I 'liked'. In the past year that's gotten better too and I'm usually ok with conversation. My problem now arises from talking to girls I like beyond normal conversation.

I've wanted to ask out a girl for ~2-3 weeks now but every time I think I will I just continue walking past her like that was my original plan because I get too scared and forget what to say. I wouldn't say I'm good friends with this girl but I'm friendlier around her than most people I know (so just friends I guess, NTs seem to use that word freely so I'm sure thats what she would call me). I can keep up a normal conversation but can't ask her out.

What would/will it take to fix this problem? I don't know if its fear of rejection or something else but at this point I don't care of she says "no" because then I atleast know what her answer would be(of course I still want a "yes" but I'm getting annoyed with myself).

thin_gypsy_thief
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31 Oct 2012, 5:35 pm

I'm afraid I can't offer advice, but this described my current situation to a tee, so I'm rather interested to see responses.

IrishTusk
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31 Oct 2012, 5:41 pm

Quote:

What would/will it take to fix this problem? I don't know if its fear of rejection or something else but at this point I don't care of she says "no"

Just ask her out, Simple as that even if your stammering, choking on your tongue and turning blue, Just ask her out. Better to try and fail than to never try at all. Think about it, If you ask her out and she says yes, Then congrats. If you ask her out and she says no, You'll be gutted but you've done it. You made the attempt and it'll be easier for the next girl because you know it won't be the end of the world.

_________________
Your Aspie score: 56 of 200
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You are very likely neurotypical

Stargazer43
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31 Oct 2012, 5:48 pm

Do you have any trouble talking with her, aside from asking her out?

billiscool
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31 Oct 2012, 8:13 pm

Go up to her and say ''hey you, like adam sandler movies'' just kidding.
Do little thing like ''how are you'' or ask question I guess.
Make sure you smell good too. No women wants a guy who stinks.

ShamelessGit
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31 Oct 2012, 9:30 pm

Well it sounds like your getting better and it will just take time until you get it right. I don't know if anyone can help you with this thing because it seems like you know what you have to do and you just have to make yourself do it.

AngelKnight
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31 Oct 2012, 10:46 pm

IrishTusk wrote:

Quote:

What would/will it take to fix this problem? I don't know if its fear of rejection or something else but at this point I don't care of she says "no"

Another bit from this: If you ask and she's said, "no," well, then you know. "What if she says..." tend to be the hardest part of all of this. It all changes when it becomes "she said ...". For most people, that's how fear of the unknown works.

Surfman
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01 Nov 2012, 7:36 am

ELEPHUNK

well I know I've always had um trouble with my mother
and I know I've always had trouble with... with, you know, girls
and ah I know I've always had trouble just eergh socially, you know, generally
b'an um I know I've had a lot of trouble with my food
but I've got my wash hose, I've got my wash hose
and I can do Elephunk
I can do Elephunk
I can do Elephunk

yeah I know I've had trouble with my mother
and I know I've had trouble with girls
and I and I know I've had trouble with my neighbour
I know I have my prob... you know... I.. I.. I.. I.. I know I have
my m.. m.. my aah I.. I.. I know but I've got my wash hose
heh heh I've got my wash hose
and I know I've got my wash hose
and I can do Elephunk
(snigger) yeahI can do Elephunk
I can do Elephunk

b9
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01 Nov 2012, 7:48 am

i sometimes get laryngitis, and i find it hard to talk to anyone during the time i have it.
i find girls easy to talk to as long as i have a viable voice.
most girls think in a way that i like, and so i can talk to them when i want to which is not very often i am sorry to report.
i can always talk when i need to , but i do not often feel a desire to talk to people without invitation.

WantToHaveALife
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02 Nov 2012, 4:41 pm

Taybot97 wrote:

hate how we guys always have to initiate the conversation

billiscool
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03 Nov 2012, 12:07 am

WantToHaveALife wrote:

Taybot97 wrote:

hate how we guys always have to initiate the conversation

Yeah I really don't like it either. But it's not too hard for me. I can go up to women and start talking to them. In safe enivorment of course.

SpiderJeruz
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03 Nov 2012, 2:56 am

Lately I've been talking to girls in IRC and on webcam, as I don't go out a whole lot these days. I don't really have any friends. Talking to girls online has really given me the confidence to flirt with girls when I do, though. I recommend it.

WantToHaveALife
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03 Nov 2012, 9:17 pm

billiscool wrote:

WantToHaveALife wrote:

Taybot97 wrote:

hate how we guys always have to initiate the conversation

Yeah I really don't like it either. But it's not too hard for me. I can go up to women and start talking to them. In safe enivorment of course.

yeah well most of the time, it's rare when a girl is alone, even if she is alone, there are gonna be a lot of people in the surroundings, i prefer private settings, that way if i screw up, nobody else saw it

Adam82
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03 Nov 2012, 10:05 pm

That describes a lot of us here. I've always had trouble finding anything to say to girls.

WantToHaveALife
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05 Nov 2012, 3:33 pm

Adam82 wrote:

That describes a lot of us here. I've always had trouble finding anything to say to girls.

and why is it immature for men to blame their problems on women, but not immature if women blame their problems on men?

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