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billiscool
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17 Oct 2012, 11:12 pm

here what I mean.
Ok I can go up to a women and just start talking to her like she was my best friend.
I talk to women the same way I talk to men.
here some example on how I approach
me: hey misty you see that blazers game last night. Yeah ma'am. They won, you know.
hey you play the basketball
(ladies say something)
hey I don't play the basketball but do go running.

and another example

me: hey misty. You watch family guy. Yeah I like that show. It's pretty funny

90% of the time women just stare and are kinda of ''stone'' struck.

I always read that women like men with confidence(me) and if you go up to women and
start talking to a women it show that you have confidence and she will fall in love with you
but for some reason it has never happen for me.

it takes alot of confidence to go up to a women and start talking about family guy or basketball
but is too confidence or too causal. I mean men have to talk to women first, right.
So what's happening? and yes I really do talk to random women about family guys that is true.
I just have way too much confidence just the wrong kind of confidence.



Fnord
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17 Oct 2012, 11:25 pm

Oh ... you mean "casual"!

I thought you were complaining about being the cause of something that effects women.

Advice: Try talking about things that you know they'll be interested in.

Dating, gossip, sparkly vampires and clothes.



cathylynn
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17 Oct 2012, 11:37 pm

Fnord wrote:
Oh ... you mean "casual"!

I thought you were complaining about being the cause of something that effects women.

Advice: Try talking about things that you know they'll be interested in.

Dating, gossip, sparkly vampires and clothes.


i'm a pushover for liberal politics, soft rock and classical music and showtunes, and companion animals.

there are as many types of interests as there are girls. the OP might as well lead with his interests (although complimenting a woman on her choice of clothes can't hurt) and by so doing find someone with whom he is compatible.



Fnord
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17 Oct 2012, 11:40 pm

cathylynn wrote:
... there are as many types of interests as there are girls...

When you've seen one girl, you've seen ... one girl.

OP, find out what really interests her.



anec_empire
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18 Oct 2012, 12:34 am

Just because a woman isn't interested in your question doesn't mean that you are uninteresting overall. Maybe you're not asking the right questions. It is true that confidence is attractive to women, but its kind of subtle. Confidence does not mean assertive or direct--perhaps this is what is happening in your case?

Yes, confidence is a trait that you can possess, but its only useful to the extent that the other person judges you have it. The kind of confidence women (and people in general) look for is the kind that makes them feel confident about themselves when they are in your presence.

In your examples you are asking a woman to respond to a specific topic. Another poster suggested finding out what is interesting to her. The easiest way to do this is to simply ask. Assuming you already know her a bit, try saying something like "Hi Misty--great to see you. I just did [something interesting]. Have you done [related interesting thing] recently?"

Examples:
"Hi Misty--great to see you (how are you, etc etc) Say, I just finished the last Game of Thrones book and I need something else to read. Have you done read any good books recently?"

"Hi Misty--great to see you (how are you, etc etc) Say, I saw a review of Looper that said the story is interesting and Joseph Gordon-Levitt is really good. Have you seen it?

Anyhoo, the idea is that you get them talking about something they are interested in and then get a follow-up date (coffee date at the bookshop, movie date) etc out of it.

Of course, if you're looking for a magical pick up line for a one night stand, that's an entirely different subject. Generally the idea is to present a woman with a question where the outcome of either choice is a compliment to her.

Example:
Scene: Club/Bar Etc
You: Hi there--my friend and I both noticed you the moment you walked in. My friend thinks that dress fits you perfectly. I don't disagree but the first thing I noticed is your eyes.
Chances are, she'll probably say something 'oh thats very nice of your friend but I really liked your comment about my eyes"

Its an art, not a science. One time I was at a club w/ a friend of average looks but superior confidence. Early in the evening the DJ announced that they had Champagne and Cupcakes in the VIP area. The second the announcement was finished, walked straight up to the most attractive woman he could find and said "I like cupcakes--do you like cupcakes too?" and offered his hand. She gave him a huge smile (seriously, she looked like she had won the lottery) and off they went to the VIP room. He ended up spending a ton of money on the VIP passes and overpriced champagne and cupcakes. I saved money by nursing cheap drinks in the corner all night but it seemed like it was worth it for him. Of course, your mileage may very... ;)



again_with_this
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18 Oct 2012, 2:04 am

Are you talking to these women with the intention of dating them, or are you just having friendly conversations the way you would with men?

Regardless, most women assume that a random man chatting with them must be interested in them sexually, so they're usually on the defense.

All of that stuff about treating women as equals is BS when it comes to casual conversation, because most of them read into it as you trying to flirt with them, when it could just be a random, polite conversation.



bnky
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18 Oct 2012, 3:32 am

billiscool wrote:
me: hey misty you see that blazers game last night. Yeah ma'am. They won, you know.
hey you play the basketball
(ladies say something)
hey I don't play the basketball but do go running.

and another example

me: hey misty. You watch family guy. Yeah I like that show. It's pretty funny


OP, in my opinion your "conversation openers" don't leave much latitude for this Misty to actually add much to what you've stated. In the first you've asked 3 rapid-fire yes/no questions. In the second you ask a yes/no question and then don't give her a chance to answer before answering it for yourself.



PTSmorrow
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18 Oct 2012, 10:28 am

Foolproof advice, women are all about themselves and it's definitely not a good idea to talk to them like you're talking to a guy. Say something nice about her, like a positive feedback.

Examples: "That's a nice dress you're wearing."
Simple but effective:"What are you up to?"
Or ask her if she'd like to have a cup of coffee with you, anything.

The key point is to give her a bait to talk about. Most women are quite talkative by nature, so all you got to do is giving her a chance to talk and then keep the conversation going.

For instance, if you start up with "That's a nice dress (hairstyle, purse, necklace, whatsoever,)" she may respond something like "oh, that's just an old rag," but what she actually wants to hear is a compliment about her look.

Since you posted this in the love and dating section I assume you are looking for a date, not a serious exchange of information on a particular topic.



BanjoGirl
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18 Oct 2012, 10:54 am

PTSmorrow wrote:
Foolproof advice, women are all about themselves and it's definitely [b]not a good idea to talk to them like you're talking to a guy.[/b] Say something nice about her, like a positive feedback.

Examples: "That's a nice dress you're wearing."
Simple but effective:"What are you up to?"
Or ask her if she'd like to have a cup of coffee with you, anything.

The key point is to give her a bait to talk about. Most women are quite talkative by nature, so all you got to do is giving her a chance to talk and then keep the conversation going.

For instance, if you start up with "That's a nice dress (hairstyle, purse, necklace, whatsoever,)" she may respond something like "oh, that's just an old rag," but what she actually wants to hear is a compliment about her look.

Since you posted this in the love and dating section I assume you are looking for a date, not a serious exchange of information on a particular topic.


You never dated men, some of them can talk a lot on dates too (all about themselves). I could write two biographies right now, one based on a date in 2004 and another one based on a date in 2009 :lol:

I would love a date where the conversation was casual and not "I'm trying to impress you talking about my life". That's acting.

It depends of the personality of the girl, if she is not talkative, she will enjoy listening to you, if she is talkative, then she will talk a lot, if she is like the OP, she will love talking with him about Family Guy.

Not all women are the same, ok?


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PTSmorrow
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18 Oct 2012, 12:05 pm

BanjoGirl wrote:
PTSmorrow wrote:
Foolproof advice, women are all about themselves and it's definitely [b]not a good idea to talk to them like you're talking to a guy.[/b] Say something nice about her, like a positive feedback.

Examples: "That's a nice dress you're wearing."
Simple but effective:"What are you up to?"
Or ask her if she'd like to have a cup of coffee with you, anything.

The key point is to give her a bait to talk about. Most women are quite talkative by nature, so all you got to do is giving her a chance to talk and then keep the conversation going.

For instance, if you start up with "That's a nice dress (hairstyle, purse, necklace, whatsoever,)" she may respond something like "oh, that's just an old rag," but what she actually wants to hear is a compliment about her look.

Since you posted this in the love and dating section I assume you are looking for a date, not a serious exchange of information on a particular topic.


You never dated men, some of them can talk a lot on dates too (all about themselves). I could write two biographies right now, one based on a date in 2004 and another one based on a date in 2009 :lol:

I would love a date where the conversation was casual and not "I'm trying to impress you talking about my life". That's acting.

It depends of the personality of the girl, if she is not talkative, she will enjoy listening to you, if she is talkative, then she will talk a lot, if she is like the OP, she will love talking with him about Family Guy.

Not all women are the same, ok?


Mea culpa ... theoretically you're right, there are differences, but I was talking out of experience and about NT women. In this respect, it's a proven fact that NT women feel uncomfortable about pauses during a conversation, thus they do their best to avoid silence.



thewhitrbbit
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18 Oct 2012, 12:40 pm

I think you have the right energy, just need to focus it a little more.

Try ending with a question.



billiscool
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18 Oct 2012, 7:21 pm

PTSmorrow wrote:
Foolproof advice, women are all about themselves and it's definitely not a good idea to talk to them like you're talking to a guy. Say something nice about her, like a positive feedback.

Examples: "That's a nice dress you're wearing."
Simple but effective:"What are you up to?"
Or ask her if she'd like to have a cup of coffee with you, anything.

The key point is to give her a bait to talk about. Most women are quite talkative by nature, so all you got to do is giving her a chance to talk and then keep the conversation going.

For instance, if you start up with "That's a nice dress (hairstyle, purse, necklace, whatsoever,)" she may respond something like "oh, that's just an old rag," but what she actually wants to hear is a compliment about her look.

Since you posted this in the love and dating section I assume you are looking for a date, not a serious exchange of information on a particular topic.


I hear that women are talkative but for some reason they very quiet around me
I have no idea what a certain women is interest in because they don't say much.



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19 Oct 2012, 7:48 am

Don't start with a particular interest. Find out what they are interested in first, instead of just going up to women and asking "do you like ___"



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19 Oct 2012, 8:32 am

billiscool wrote:

I always read that women like men with confidence(me) and if you go up to women and
start talking to a women it show that you have confidence and she will fall in love with you
but for some reason it has never happen for me.


Are you saying you've read somewhere that if you just walk up to a woman and start talking confidently, she will fall in love with you?

I am not sure where you will have read that, but it doesn't normally happen that way. Firstly, people do not usually fall in love at first sight (though it can happen :heart: ) and secondly, merely showing off that you are confident is not the way to ask a woman out. You have to actually ask her out. . Just going up to her and asking her if she likes a certain TV programme or watched a certain sports game is not sending her some sort of telephathic message that you like her. You will need to actually ask her out.

Also, it's not really surprising that most of them just stare at you. If some random guy came up to me and asked me abruptly out of the blue if I had watched a certain TV programme, I would probably stare, too. I would feel rather puzzled, and would be wondering if he was doing it for a dare or something. Most people do not just suddenly go up to other people and talk to them about TV shows. It would be better to just talk naturally about anything that seems relevant at the time. If you can't think of anything to say you could always just smile. Smiling is probably better than babbling nervously (oh dear, I wish I could take my own advice. I'm often a nervous babbler when talking to strangers).

Anyway I hope you find the lady of your dreams and manage to be happy.



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19 Oct 2012, 10:30 am

You're supposed to let the woman do the talking.


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19 Oct 2012, 10:36 am

id say partly the problem is you're talking to her as you would a male friend. Thus she sees you talking as if you're looking for a friend. Contrary to popular belief if you're trying to talk with a woman for something other than friendship you have to tak differently. Try some light flirting. something, anything!