Asking someone on a date/Is s/he interested?

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So, uh, here's my problem. I have tried w/o much success to ask some gal on a date (only one date for me as of right now), and some have said they don't want anyone!

With that out of the way.......... what is the best way to ask someone on a date? And what if she isn't interested? Thank, guys.

I'm going to answer in reverse order because I believe that it's important to digest the second part before asking anyone out.

Yes, she might not be interested. It's important to accept that possibility before doing the asking. That she might not be interested is always a possibility every time anyone asks anyone out. And if she's not interested, it's disappointing but it needn't be devastating. Every guy, ever, knew that she might not be interested. Just how it is.

An important part of how to ask her out is to have a specific place and activity to offer. If you know this girl, then you may have some ideas about her interests (such as horticulture or glass sculpture), so what you're offering has a better chance to resonate with her. It's also important to set a specific time and date for the date; so have your availability worked out before hand.

I'm hammering on specificity because, believe it or not, sometimes guys prefer to simply ask; Would you like to go out with me sometime? That leaves the girl in a weird spot; she now is answering a question about yourself rather than a question about a date.

So the asking sounds something like:
"Would you be interested in going to the Bronx Botanical Gardens with me? There's a Chahouly show on exhibit there right now."
Assuming she says yes or maybe, you say:
"How about next Saturday? We could meet at 125th St and take the subway together."
"I'd like that but I'm busy on Saturday, would any other day work out?........

That's what yes sounds like.

This is what no sounds like:
"I don't ride the subway."
"Oh, how about we take a cab, then?"
"I'm busy on Saturday."
Then you bow out graciously: "OK, See you tomorrow in class."

Good to know....

I have a slight headache as I post this.......... what else could I do?

A few other thoughts: It's a good idea ask someone out as soon as you think you *might* be interested in them--don't wait too long as they will probably have already placed you in the 'friendzone'. As an aspie, I've realized that I used to wait until I was REALLY interested in a girl before asking her out. As a result, I would come off as too intense and scare/annoy her.

Also, be polite but don't necessarily take the first no. Examples:

You: Hey, it was great talking to you. Want to have coffee tomorrow?
Her: Ummmm, sorry, I can't
(at this point there is not enough info to tell if you've been entirely or only partially rejected)
You: Oh, that's too bad. I was hoping we could hang out for a bit and talk some more. Maybe another time?
(regardless of her answer, it will give you more info than you had before)
Here is a range of her possible answers:
1. Sure--ask me next week = Yes!
2. I'm not really into seeing someone right now = She is being polite but doesn't view you romantically
3. You know, I'm really into my (studies, art, job, whatever) right now and I'm really busy = She did not previously view you as a potential romantic partner but isn't ruling out the idea entirely. Wait patiently and then ask her out again in 5-7 days. If she says anything other than yes, she means no.
4. No--This was always the worst for me because I would always want to know why, which would only make things more awkward. Simply say something like "Ok, I understand", smile gently, and then walk away (even if you dont really understand).

I will summarize by repeating that last part: If you've asked someone out twice and the answer is anything other than yes, then it really means no. Being polite and saying "I understand" can be a little weird, especially if you do not understand at all and you are dying to ask her a million questions. One way to look at it is that the phrase "I understand" doesn't really mean that you understand. Think of it more as a social signal that you are accepting her response and will not continue to pursue her. This will help to insure that she does not label you as the 'creepy stalker who can't take no for an answer'.

Hope this helps.

Okay! Thank you.