Taking a break but not quite friends, not quite over

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So my girlfriend and I are taking a "break" to find ourselves in the sense that we were in a very, very unhealthy relationship of codependency and now we're in a sort of relationship purgatory of not wanting to just be friends but not wanting to be in "a relationship" so that we can switch the focus from one another to ourselves. The problem I'm having is figuring out how to behave with her...like when I see her or talk to her on the phone I always want to continue the way things were before saying I love her, kissing her, etc. but I'm not exactly sure how well that will go over since she's stopped saying she loves me, she doesn't kiss me...she just hugs me and tells me she'll "call me later".

The thing is I WANT to be able to see her, I want to be able to hang out but I'm not exactly sure how to go able asking to hang out without her thinking I'm just trying to pull her back into being in a relationship with me...like it's clear that I need to focus on myself now and just wait it out and let things play out...but at the same time...I don't know...I'm not sure I'm making much sense....anyway I'm just gonna leave it at opening it up for discussion, advice, etc.

I would suggest working on whatever issues forced you apart. Show her your changing for the better.

Stop saying I love you to her and see if she notices.

Something sounds interesting in this situation.

Are you guys seeing other people during this break?

If it's too painful for you to be around her (even online), take some serious space and go "no contact" for a week or two or a month. That's the only way for you both to know if you really want to be together or apart.

This I agree with. A month would be better. Get your own life straightened out first, because if you get back into the relationship with the same though process and no change, then you'll be in the same position you were at to begin with: you'll end up taking another break and not solve the issues once and for all. It will continue being painful.

I am probably going through a similar situation wiht someone right now as well. Not that it matters since it is still too early on. There has been no relationship. But I think if there are any issues on either of your part, the smart thing to do is work on it

Regrettably, yes we are seeing each other since we kind of parent a puppy together so it's kind of difficult to keep distance...I feel like she's playing games with me telling me one thing but acting another...in the sense she tells me she needs a break but wants to 'spend time' and stupid, codependent me wants to just be loved and engaged in affection...

Have you stopped saying I love you? Mirror her actions and see what happens.

Also, cut down on your communications to her. If you text her 10 times a day, cut it down to 3-4. If you text her four times, maybe once or twice.

Show her that you won't necessarily be there at her beck and call.