How do you actually start a relationship over the internet?
A few people that I know are in deep relationships with people over the internet. Not that I'm really keen on dating someone over the internet, but I thought I'd just give it one try, because everyone who has asked me out aren't my type, and everyone who I want are married, so I thought I'd just give this internet dating thing one go.
My uncle is well involved with a woman he met on Facebook, and he has been talking to her for a year, now he's going to go over to her country to meet her. Good luck to him, is all I can say.
Also my friend (who has AS) seems to know how to meet boys over the internet, and she's involved with one now who lives at the opposite end of the country. Personally I think she's being a bit silly because (I hate to say this) but the last 2 relationships she has had with boys over the internet haven't worked out, yet she still gets all her hopes up with them as though she gives her trust away as soon as she gives one boy her name. Now she is meeting him this week-end (he's coming over to see her) and I just want her to be careful because they've only been talking online for about a month or so.
But I have tried various dating sites, and I didn't seem to be getting on with them so I kind of quit. I am no good at taking very nice pictures of myself to send to them (most pictures that I take are ones of me pulling a goofy face, no matter how hard I try not to), and that's what they might think I look like and not want to go out with me. Also I found I didn't really get on with it, I spoke to a few different men but couldn't make my mind up with which one I wanted to talk to the most, and I didn't seem to get very attached to them. Also I find it feels rather false to keep texting messages to a complete stranger who you've never actually seen in the flesh, so really you don't know who you're talking to really, and then meeting up with them can be rather scary. I don't think my friend knows what she's getting herself into, even though she has been hurt so many times by all these past online boyfriends.
Has anybody here found a particular way to get attached to someone on the internet, in ways that I may be missing. I know with these sorts of things there is always a certain knack people develop, a bit like in video games, and usually I'm the last to develop that sort of thing. How do you get on with dating sites?
_________________
Female
Well you're a woman so in your case, just say you're single and put up a photo somewhere
Seriously though, how about taking it in small steps. Reaching outward. Start from here!
Go to Members Only or Getting To Know Each Other or Adult Autism sections. Each has a members photo thread.
Also check the Eligible Oddbods section and maybe put a small personal ad. But remember that place hasn't seen any actual women in a while so expect to be bombarded! Alternatively look in discussion topics for people you might like that talk about your special interest. Talk to them in private messages and use the topic as an opener such as "I agree with what you said on X and Y! Did you see...[episode, movie, event in episode or movie or whatever]?". Then from there get to know them on a personal level. I'd avoid people that off the bad bypass talking about special interests as later down the line things will grow very stale with them.
I met my ex-girlfriend over the internet. I had a profile on a social site (part of it was for dating, part for just chatting, forums, blogging, etc.) and she became interested in me. I think the type of site we met on is the best for meeting people, because it attracts more people (those who are not necessarily looking for a date as well as those who are), and allows you to show off more of your personality than most dating sites (because you can write a blog, participate in forums, etc.) Too many people on dating sites are focused on sex only, or dating only, and miss out on interesting people who might be friends at first, then something more. In my experience, traditional dating sites have too much posing, more immature people, and more extroverted people.
We didn't really have a relationship over the Internet, we met there, video chatted and emailed for a while, then met in person. It didn't get serious until after we met. This type of thing is really suited to people who enjoy interacting via text and are good at it, so that is who you are likely to meet. That means someone who tries it will likely be missing out on nice people who are computer illiterate, bad spellers or typists, or just too active to sit still in front of a screen. You also have to be someone who has something to say, otherwise the other person will get bored/possibly assume you are an idiot.
Other than that, the way to connect with someone is not much different than in other types of relationships.
Well, I don't really have much of an interesting life, but who does these days, unless you've got plenty of money, friends, and free time on your hands. Currently I'm on job-seekers, so I've basically got to spend most of my time actively seeking work, and I have to be avaliable practically all week really, because the jobcentre are on to you like a tone of bricks if you turn down any job interview for a day out with your friends. I do voluntary work once or twice a week, which is something.
I may be shy, but (as some of you might have noticed) I do tend to waffle on a bit over the internet, so I can turn one little bit of small talk into an interesting topic (through typing). Also I am good at expressing how I'm feeling. I'm always on Facebook writing updates in the ''what's on your mind?'' box, and people often like my status or even comment. I also know how to show interest in other people by liking their status and so on.
I like the thing about the profile. I am good at making profiles about myself, and I'd probably be good with writing a blog, although I have never done it before.
_________________
Female
You can talk about more than your day-to-day life. In fact, some people will be more interested in any philosophies or religion you practice, social/political/economic causes you support, hobbies, major or academic interests, and what subjects or genres you like to read. You have more control over those things, so they are better at showing what type of person you are.
AspieWolf
Veteran

Joined: 25 Apr 2010
Age: 79
Gender: Male
Posts: 657
Location: Out of my mind. Back in 10 minutes.
Well, there was someone whose web site I had seen and who really interested me for several reasons, so I used their Contact Me link and sent an email explaining who I was and why I was interested in communicating with them. I received a response and thus began our email relationship, which was just as friends and nothing more. Over the years we have discussed many things, usually philosophy, politics, history, spirituality, books we like, and yes even a few personal things. It has been a very rewarding relationship (definitely non-romantic), even though we have never been able to meet. So, if you have the opportunity to contact someone, by all means do so. You might start by introducing yourself: who you are, where you live, why you are interested in contacting them, your interests, etc. Be polite and courteous, but it might be wise not to mention any AS or other issues you might have, until some time after the relationship is well under way. The worst that can happen is that you receive no response, but as the old saying goes: nothing ventured, nothing gained. Good Luck.
_________________
"A man needs a little madness...or else...he never dares cut the rope and be free."
Nikos Kazantzakis, ZORBA THE GREEK
Some of us just have a little more madness than others!
curlyfry
Veteran

Joined: 13 Jun 2010
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,502
Location: Latitude : 45.373. Longitude : -84.955
^This. Also, when you do meet make sure it is in a public place and you both have your own transportation just to be safe. I met my BF on a dating site. We chatted about interests, how our lifestyles were similar. He would joke and I would be factual. My life isn't exciting but I don't get bored with all the projects I can work on. If I didn't have to leave my house for work, I would only leave for groceries or the occasional outing and I still was able to meet someone.
I've done it, 100% unintentionally, but think it's highly problematic.
That's how it worked for me. I had zero intention of falling in love (even though it was via OKCupid) but after just a month I am madly in love with my GF. I didn't think it was going to work out but I found we share a very specific interest I can't talk about outside my bedroom

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