Need an Aspie Perspective

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Would love to have some advice from an Aspie male.

Complex relationship and situation. I am very good friends with a man who has AS. I am an NT with no prior experience with AS. He is very successful and after spending a year working together on a very public project (daily events and togetherness), we started a business. Our friendship is complex. Because of a series of misunderstandings over the past few months (because i did not understand his AS (he had dropped many hints but never said it straight out and i just never "got" it) ) he has shut down. He sets times to meet but then backs out. He will not talk on the phone and we used to talk for hours on the phone daily. I have not seen him for 21/2 months now. Obviously none of this is good for our business as i am carrying on without him. I have seen him shut down on someone previously (4 months) but she was a romantic interest. He is twice divorced with both being very painful events.

I think he has intertwined personal and business and has no boundary between the two. On a personal level, he is upset about something (not sure what) but the emotions of that prevent him from working with me on our business. We could dissolve the business or he could his share to me but he will not do either. So somewhere in this he will not cut the ties with me but he is also stuck in a rut.

I have tried to draw him out with caring texts, updates on the business etc but at most i get a text argument or a note about meeting which he ends up cancelling. (5 to date)

Suggestions?

I would simply tell him straight out that you would really like to meet with him and get everything straightened out at the very least for the sake of your mutual business.

Thanks for the reply. I have tried that for months now. I set up meetings and he cancels. It seems like it will work to meet but then he cancels suddenly. It is almost like he is too emotional to speak on the phone or in person and the it starts a new text argument.

He is obviously not worried about me carrying on with the business and has no capacity to deal with it. But such an odd situation. Do I cease communications and see what he does or keep trying? He won't cut the tie and he won't engage. Limbo

Hmm maybe the trying could be what's causing it. Maybe you could try to cease communications for a bit and see if he responds to it.

I can do that. I will just keep moving on the business and cease communications since it may be too much for him. I suspect there is depression going on as well as I have seen that in him before. So i don't want to hurt him, stress him or cause any distress.

I am trying to learn as much as I can about how to communicate and relate respectfully and effectively. i respect the differences because in the past the combination of us was very successful. It. Is very frustrating though because there is a business involved and he was so excited about it but has just disengaged. I will take your advice and hang back.

Thank you for the advice. It helps to have a sounding board.