Being free from concern and worry

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Does anyone else notice they have dramatically more positive interactions with the opposite sex (especially if you are a guy having more positive interactions with girls) when they become free from concern and worry? There's a big difference.

I guess this is more relevant to people who suffer from anxiety like me. But I have had a couple of big weights all but removed from my shoulders recently meaning, along with it, a huge amount of anxiety has gone. And since then, I have had females striking up casual interaction with me quite a lot arising from incidents in the street, shops etc. But it's always been when I'm free from major worry that it happens, it's never led to anything much else since I'm so love shy but.... it's a start.

But it seems I need to be all but free from concern and worry for this to happen. It's a noticeable difference as it was not happening AT ALL before, when I felt all the cares of the world on me. I did not appreciate just how much people must have been able to read into my face. That is, it's hard for me to appreciate how much more vibrancy, which people find a lot more attractive, I must show when worry free.

I think that all my interactions and endeavours go better when I am free from concern and worry.

I am glad that you're feeling freer and that you are feeling some of the benefit in the form of easier interaction with the ladies. May it continue and develop.

That makes a lot of sense. People just feel more comfortable because they don't think you're going to dump your problems on them.

Seriously, if you feel more at ease with yourself, people feel more at ease around you.

It's much easier to interact with women when you don't have the expectation of a relationship. I've casually talked to women at the store before as well. But that's all it is: casual banter, often within the realm of "small talk". There's no way to try and convert that into anything serious. The only hope I have is to try to be friends with them for a long while and then maybe she would be more comfortable around me when I start delving deeper into my personality. That's why I consider my "dating pool" to be all female friends I have ages 18-30. And those are harder to come by in real life as they all move on and I'm left behind...

If I feel full of concern and worry I walk about the place pulling anguished faces and frowning, and possibly making hand gestures. Not to say you do the same thing, but it might be something more subtle of that sort that means people are less likely to approach you if you are anxious - such as a slightly uninviting facial expression.

Great job Keeno for working on your anxiety.

I've recently decided to quit dating or pursuing women entirely, after countless failed attempts that left me hating myself and feeling ugly, worthless and unlovable. I got sick of feeling that way, and fought back! I deleted all my online dating accounts, and I've un-friended any girls remaining on my FB who I tried to date at one time or another. They seemed to have little interest in being friends with me (even though they all say "Let's be friend.") so I say to hell with them, and I throw them out of my space and my mind. They're unpeople to me now, and I refuse to let them live in my head "rent free," as the saying goes.

And all this has done wonders for me. Before I got repeatedly rejected and humiliated and emasculated and it was all so terrible for my confidence and self esteem. Now I've established control. I say, "Women have no power over me. They do not interest me." I feel I'm fighting back and waging a winning battle, because I simply reject the desires of the flesh, and of human attraction, which is the major weapon in a woman's arsenal: her looks. Take that away, deny her that power, and she becomes just a regular person like everyone else.

Instead, I'm devoting myself to enjoying life and pursuing my own personal and career goals. I'm not going to let any person affect my journey with shrill pleas of engagement, marriage, home ownership and children. Instead now, I'm in complete control of my life, and while a woman to share it with would certainly be nice, they're going to have to accept my terms first, and ultimately, I will make my own happiness, and not allow it to be contingent on someone else!

For the first time in a long time, I'm in charge and it's great!

BR

Maybe there's some truth to this. I've had relaxation sort of defined to me, and I've never recalled a time when I've felt relaxed - and when I take "stress tests" my score is typically through the roof. It doesn't necessarily have to do with being single or being anxious around women either, it's just anxiety about my life in general. I'm still happy with most aspects of my life, though, so I'm afraid of going out of my way to change things which I regard as part of my personality lest my life changes for the worse, including this anxiety.