Any difference b/w Aspie Men & Women in Relationships?

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Both genders on the spectrum function differently in their love lives. Who succeeds more with love? Aspie women or men? Can anyone explain this? Some inquiring minds want to know.

Lol, have you read some of the other threads? It's seems to be a daily, ongoing question...

I think a better question is what makes it work for each gender. The differences of what makes it work could be enlightening.

odd are in aspie women favor. but you can find aspie women that never find love and find aspie men who are very good at finding love.
by per capita aspie women are more succesful than aspie men. (with finding love)

Okay, but how so are Aspie women successful with love?

Women are more succesful, no contest. I think it´s because they have a natural talent (even the ones with Asperger´s) for learning the basic unwritten rules of society, or a better judgement at guessing other people´s next moves, whatever), so they may look like they have leant how to go with the flow. AS men are more obvious.

meaning they are more likely to marry, have long time partner, date regularly.
than aspie men.

if that's the case, how is that possible that we can date better than Aspie men? i don't understand it. maybe i'm too naive about it, but how come we as Aspie women have been subjected to being the target of bullying, harassment and whatnot and yet we still manage to be loved?

I think it depends on the individual, this who has it harder crap is rather annoying honestly.

Depends on the individual, and how far they are on the spectrum. But when it comes to men and women, I would say it's an even playing field collectively, but each gender has a different set of pitfalls.

I'd agree there.

It could also be that aspie women who have less success in love are also less likely to post on forums or less computer-literate. There are probably a lot of older aspie women who have never married or their relationships haven't worked out and they don't even know they are on the autistic spectrum. They are less likely to own a computer or have an interest in discussion forums. Hence we won't hear their story. An aspie man of any age is more likely to be on an internet forum than an aspie woman in my opinion.

yes and yes. nessa238, you also have an interesting idea above.



i would like to know how we can bridge this gap better on the forum, in a sense. i don't walk around thinking of myself as a female, and it is jarring to come into a forum where i am told that i must have a certain type of personality and love life because of my genitalia. i don't think that seeing the other gender as an other species is particular helpful in being able to communicate with them or form relationships with them because it "otherizes" them. i think it is unnecessary.

I totally agree. I don't play to my gender and don't relate to people who do. I tend to see men as people I want to make friends with more than anything else as I don't usually seem to gel with other females.

you know what. I;ve wonder about that too. you can find aspie woman who have no friends, very little social life, never really fit in and
nearly no one understand them but yet somehow they got a boyfriend or a husband. You get semi popular aspie men who know how to talk to the ladies but they always put in the ''friendzone'' but you get a super loner aspie woman and somehow she end up with a boyfriend. I really don't know why it is.

Can you provide me with an example of one of these "Semi popular aspie men who know how to talk to the ladies"

Are you talking about yourself by any chance?

Also what is the definition of a "Super loner aspie woman"? - how do you even know these women even exist if they are 'super loners'?

Has it ever crossed your mind that loner aspie women get together with loner aspie men?

I think personally that aspie women have a better chance at finding love than aspie men. The reason being that women typically don't have to make that first move in a relationship, which in my opinion is one of the hardest parts of dating. Whereas for men, aside from those rare cases where all the planets are in alignment, they are required to initiate. That step poses an even greater problem for people with Aspergers, as it does require a good deal of social finesse to ask someone out in a respectable and socially acceptable manner. There have been a few instances where women I considered fairly good friends no longer wanted to associate with me because I asked them out, simply because I misread their social cues and didn't really know what I was doing (after the last time I swore off asking out personal acquaintances). And of course, women can always initiate if they choose as well, so they simply have more options available to them, and finding love is often a numbers game in the end. Some people have said that there is a social stigma against women initiating, but I just don't see it. There was actually a discussion about this at my work not long ago and the consensus among the guys was unanimous that they would be incredibly flattered and appreciative if a woman approached them for a change.

Not to mention, a quick peek around these forums can be pretty revealing as well. There's usually at least a handful of posts a week from some guy in his 20s or 30s who has never had a girlfriend or been kissed, but seems to be mostly successful in life otherwise. There are a few posts like that from women as well, but they are very few and far between. And data has suggested that overall women are far more likely to reproduce than men, with recent DNA research suggesting that, historically, approximately 80% of women reproduce in their lifetimes, while only 40% of men do.

Now that said, I think that once actually in a relationship there is little difference between the sexes. Both will experience similar difficulties in terms of communication and whatnot. Aspie women may even have it harder in this case, as often the woman is expected to be the more social in a relationship. So while I think they may have the advantage in terms of finding love, I think it's an equal playing field in terms of 'keeping' love. And people of both genders have the possibility of finding the love of their life before they turn 20, or consequently either gender may end up living their whole lives without ever going on a date. So yes, there are some clear differences with respect to gender in terms of dating, but in the end people of both genders are largely after the same thing and will both experience their own unique set of issues and problems.