Should an Aspie date another Aspie or someone else?

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FunkMasterMike
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19 Nov 2012, 5:40 am

A few women I talk to at work say I am "hard to read." A woman I dated last year thought I "didn't like her enough." So we all know that all women are different, and have different needs in a relationship.

I smile. I laugh. I love to make people laugh. Other than that I am mostly straight-faced, and direct. I would rather be direct and tell someone my feelings about them than express it in other "normal ways." (Like flowers, or doing some things that are considered "sweet." I show affection too of course) But what makes me an Aspie is that to the normal person "something is missing" on a connection/compassion/empathy/social level. Also, sex is normal for me.
(Sorry, I'm just letting people know how I am different than other Aspies)

Is it more wise to date an Aspie, or a non-Aspie?
I am also unsure if I should go on a dating website, or stick to real-life interactions.



Wolfheart
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19 Nov 2012, 7:03 am

I don't think you should generalize people into boxes and base compatibility on a neurological difference, I think you should be open minded to people that aren't on the spectrum.

I used dating websites this year and I dated a dozen different girls before finding one that I liked enough to have a relationship with. It's a matter of persistence and preference, try both and see what works for you. Some people prefer online dating because they don't have to worry as much about approaching a random person or making a bold first impression.



FunkMasterMike
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19 Nov 2012, 7:07 am

Thanks. I was just unsure if two Aspies usually bump heads or not...you know? :P
Yeah, I think I'll do the dating website thing. I assume people do it for the reasons you mentioned.



Zodai
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19 Nov 2012, 7:08 am

It just depends on the person.


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madnak
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19 Nov 2012, 8:49 am

I do wish it were as easy as checking a box.

I can't find any rhyme or reason in what makes someone easy to talk to, attractive, or attracted to me. it's not always what I'd expect.

Aspie or NT? I'm sure there are plenty on both sides I'd like to get to know, and plenty on both sides I wouldn't.



aspiesandra27
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19 Nov 2012, 1:43 pm

I can speak based on experience. I have dates NT's and one aspie. I can tell you I woul dhave swapped all NT's relationships for this one aspie. The positives far outweigh the negatives, He understands and respects my need for solitude (and vice-versa), he never makes fun of me no matter what I do, whether it's being childish, my ticks, my lack of social skills, hand flapping, hair twirling, bad temper, loud laughter often accompanied by outrageous jokes, and we both understand that a bad moment is just that... a bad moment.

But it all might be a case of making the NT person more knowledgeable about Aspies.