I Don't Want A Ring When/If I Get Married

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Sorry if any of u were planning a suprise proposal and already have a ring. Lol jk

Anyways, I don't like rings, they are uncomfortable, can fall off or get too tight, they get wet and cold when you wash ur hands.

They are also expensive, and I would prefer if a guy was gonna spend lots of money on me, he spend it on something else. The responsibility of having that much money in such a useless and easily misplaced item is scary to me.

This won't be an immediate issue, I am not in this position yet, but how can I handle this? I don't want to refuse a ring that is offered, the guy would take it as a rejection of his proposal and even after an explanation he might think that it means I might change my mind or I don't want anyone to know I am engaged/married (which could indicate lack of commitment and fidelity).

I don't know how to bring this up beforehand either. Most guys will take the topic of rings as a hint and either be turned off, or spurred into action.

Does anyone have any suggestions how to handle this when/if it arrives?

You don't necessarily have to wear the ring on your finger. You can wear it as a pendant on a necklace.

I'd also suggest something like a tattooed on ring but they'd be a lot harder to take off than a normal ring

Personally I cannot wear any kind of jewellery at all. Even chains rubbing on my neck hurt me and irritate my skin. Don't know if the OP feels the same way.

Not a great idea.

If you knew anything about tattooing, you would know that it would most likely fade in that spot and that the hands wrinkle faster.

Years ago I was engaged briefly, and I really didn't like wearing a ring. I love jewellery, but the problem was that people would notice an obviously engagement ring and start asking questions, and I didn't like the publicity of it, if that makes sense.

For the same reason I'd stick with Ms if I ever married - the people who call me Ms C are those I have a business-only relationship (doctor, bank staff, job interviewers) with and they have no reason to know anything about my private life. The people who call me by my first name are those I'm on friendly terms with, and they would know about any relationship I was in.

That's why it was only a secondary suggestion.

I had the same problem when I was engaged.

I loved the ring he gave me but I hate wearing rings - plus it was too big for me, so a bit loose.

I just wore it on a necklace instead - but a super light very very thin chain that would not bother me.

I don't want a tattoo, nor do I want to wear a ring frodo style. I am ok w/ the idea of a necklace as an alternative.

This is more of a "How do I bring up my opinion of rings?"thread than a "What can I wear instead of a ring?" thread. Sorry for the confusion.

My husband and I do not wear rings. He did not propose. Actually I did. I told him something like: since we are having a baby I think we should get married. We were living together for 5 years by then and I was about 3 months into pregnancy. So he never bought an engagement ring. And when we got married her sister gave us the wedding rings as a present. I do not like jewelry. After a while (about a year) wearing the rings, we both decided it was too uncomfortable and we took them off. We keep them in a drawer.

I think you should be straight about this issue when the time comes. You can bring the subject early on. Maybe when you are passing in front of a jewelry shop or a church or a couple getting married on TV you can tell him how you feel about wedding rings. I think he would feel more relieved than you think. Men are not into that as women do.

If he's the right man for you, then this won't be an issue or a surprise to him!

If it's a problem, then don't marry him.

A number of people in my church wear tatoos of hebrew letters saying 'love' instead of rings on their left ring fingers.

I wish more women thought like you, danielle. It's not so much the expense as much as the practicality. A ring is a worthless trinket that doesn't prove commitment any more than a tattoo with her name on it. I don't like wearing rings either. They hurt my fingers and get stuck on my knuckles. Having to soap up a piece of metal stuck on my finger is very annoying.

Of course, if I was dating you or anyone else, and that was brought up, chances are good that even though I would understand, I would decide to get a ring anyway. A small one, maybe, but I would get one just because. Maybe you can understand why.

You could mention how much you hate wearing rings in a casual conversation...when one of those ring commercials comes on TV or the radio might be a good time lol. Then, depending on how long you've been with the person, just say something like "If we ever happened to get married, you better not get me one of those things!". Obviously saying something like that to someone you've only been with briefly may very well backfire lol, but if you're in a longer-term relationship I'm sure they'll get the hint

My spouse and I don't wear our rings very often. He used to do work that made it dangerous to wear his. I find that mine annoys me when doing crafts, and my finger size has changed over time.

I personally think the whole perceived need to buy the biggest diamond one can afford (or throw the biggest wedding) is absurd. Better to save that money for a down payment on a house, or just for emergencies - which always seem to come up. When we married, 29 years ago, we were broke and we went to the county courthouse to marry, and bought tiny plain gold bands at a deep discount. We still have those original rings and feel sentimental about them, so we keep them in a safe place. But we consider the relationship itself much more important.

Another argument - against gold. It has very little intrinsic value. It's valued because it is rare and therefore is a commodity that can be traded to make people rich. It has a few industrial/medical uses, aside from that of jewlery. But most of the gold in the world is used as a commodity for trade or as jewelry. It's beautiful, no argument there. But it's also a product of slavery or near slavery when mined, and some of the mining methods have been devastating to the environment. The same can very likely be said for diamonds.

When you're in a serious enough relationship that this might become an issue, I'm sure you'll be at a point where you have a feeling for where your partner stands on such things and you can take the discussion from there. If it's not important to you to have a ring, then you're very likely to wind up with someone to whom it's also not important. If not, discuss it with them openly. In real life, engagements aren't usually the surprises they appear to be in movies and TV. Two people usually both know where they are in the relationship before a proposal happens. If it comes as a surprise, then I suppose I'd question the relationship and whether it's a bit lop-sided.

Besides, what if you get divorced? I don't think I'd want a tattoo on my finger as a permanent reminder of the relationship that failed.

In my church, a number of couples have been known to not like jewelry so they get their betrothed a nice matching watch. I don't get it, as I see fancy watch as jewelry as well... [shrug] But it might be more comfortable.

I remember being a newlywed and going swimming in the honeymoon hotel... the ring felt like it was going to slip off my finger and it'd be lost in the pool drain or something.

It took about a year for it really to just become an extension of my body. 12 years later (2 years after she was gone) it was finally time for it to come off but my fingers had gotten a little pudgier in that time and had grown around the ring - it had to be cut off at the jeweler's. I made sure they didn't cut through the engraving "Always"... *sniff*

Someone once made the fantastic suggestion of flattening out the patterned band and turning it into a pendant for one or both of my boys. I think I'll do that for when they're older and can appreciate/take care of it.


um.... now back to you, MD. (Sorry for hijacking!) I loved *having* a ring... it said to the world, "I'm married! Someone picked me and loves me!" but I'd hate to lose something expensive, or put too much feeling into an object that can be so easily lost or stolen.

You'll get used to a small, slim band pretty quickly and I'd avoid any stones which are also easily lost (as well as "appraised" by the clucking hens who can't help themselves but compare wedding rings and "how much their husband loves them" by the largest or best compressed worthless carbon.) I felt enormous pride in wearing that band, simply because it said, "I'm married!" and always reminded me of her. If you get a little of the same out of a sub-$100 band on your finger, I'd reconsider the minor discomfort you feel for a short time.

I also hope you find a nice fella' to GIVE you one! Things working out nicely with your current beau?

No she won't. She has stated that she doesn't want to wear a ring. That's the whole point of the thread.



It might be "minor discomfort" to you, but to some people who have severe sensory issues or are very clumsy, wearing a ring is not "minor" discomfort at all. When I had to wear one it made me horribly itchy and I NEVER got used to it.

Also, due to being so clumsy I am always banging my hands into things and the ring caught onto things like a hook, and hurt my finger a lot every time it happened because it jerked my finger a lot.

Also, due to being a female and having long hair, wearing rings is a no-no when washing or detangling my hair. They get caught in it. So I always had to take it off before washing or combing my hair. Also, if your hand gets dirty and you get dirt underneath the ring you have to take it off to wash it properly anyway. So what is the point of wearing a ring when you have to take it on and off multiple times a day for hygiene reasons or for grooming purposes?

Also I like to sleep with one or another of my hands tucked under my cheek, and I like to switch hands every time I turn over. When wearing a ring, it HURTS YOUR FACE to do that, and leaves a dent in your cheek. Not good.